Friends from College

Five, six, seven, eight.

- Oh, shit! - OK. It's all right, hon.

That was the third time you messed up that part.

It's fine. It's fine. It's just that's... so many.

You know, I'm a bad dancer.

Why do we have to turn our wedding into a talent show?

You know what? Forget it. Just forget it.

- What is going on with you? - I'm just...

- It's the engagement party. - Oh, this again?

I don't know why I invited all those people.

Ethan and Sam, and Lisa and Nick, and Marianne.

All together in the same place for the first time since Sam's 40th.

I don't know what I was thinking. Why'd you let me do that?

- Me? - Yes!

You know you treat me like a prince, hon. You indulge my every whim.

All of his straight married friends were sleeping with each other.

It was very scandalous.

- Oh! Did you know? - I did not know!

Two words: epic shitshow. People did not like it.

So why would you invite them?

All right. You know what, hon, I just...

I don't want anyone to ruin our engagement party with all their baggage.

Most of them still aren't even speaking to each other.

It's going to be fine.

They're your best friends for some reason.

You're right. You're right.

- They are really great people. - Well, I didn't say that, but...

they do love you.

They're going to be on their best behavior.

- Guys, you ready? - Yeah.

All right, let's take it from the top.

Five, six, seven, eight...

Five and six and seven and eight.

And go, two, three, four.

And go, six and seven and eight.

And hug.

Spin.

And slide.

- Hey. - Hey.

- You ready? - Yes.

- Let's get this meeting going? - Yeah, man?

Let's hear what those marketing folks have to say.

I cannot wait for people to read Equestriana.

- You still like that for the title? - Yeah, yeah.

Equestriana?

You've already given us pure gold with your story.

Now we just want everybody to love it

- as much as we love it. - Yeah.

Thank you so much. I'm very excited about getting Equestriana out into the world.

Uh, well, actually you bring up an interesting point here.

- I do? - We're finding through our research

that the title "Equestriana"

isn't quite resonating with our teen-girl audience.

Or our female audience.

Okay. Wha... What about boys?

Boys don't read.

- Hm-mm. No. - No.

But we've been doing some testing and here we go.

WHO READS YOUNG ADULT?

BOY HORSE

Stop it.

Oh, my gosh.

- I know. I love this one. - That's just... You nailed it.

Thank you.

- "Boy Horse"? - Simple.

I'm sorry, I'm the only one that hears the problem?

Boy Horse? Boy Horse...

Boy Horse. I don't hear. Do you...

Boy Whores, Max.

- Oh. - Oh.

- That's not the books. - We don't want that.

I'm sorry, um...

Why does he have the face of a child and the body of a full-grown male?

And he's got treasure trail.

No, it's not a treasure trail. That's just a horse fur.

I'm pretty sure those are human pubes.

No, if those were pubes, they would be on the back two legs.

- Be leading to the back two legs. - Right.

- Where the d... the penis is. - Right.

I don't know.

I think, you know, the suggestion of a pube is not the worst thing.

- Not the worst thing. - It tests very highly.

We have numbers on that.

- Yeah. - You'd be surprised.

- On pubic hair? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Absolutely.

You just got to let them do what they do.

All right? You're the writer, they're the sales team.

You write the book and they'll figure out how to sell it.

I... I got the invite to your engagement party.

Yes. Yes, should be good times.

Should be really fun.

We invited Lisa.

Okay. Okay. Mm-hmm.

- Uh... she has not RSVP'd yet. - She doesn't respond to my emails either.

So if you happen to hear from her, ask her if we're still married.

No one's heard from her. Uh, I wouldn't take it personally.

- It might be a little personal with me. - Yeah, I can see that.

- Yeah. - Uh...

Sam's coming.

Mm-hmm.

So, you know, she'll be there.

Cool. Looking forward to hanging.

So you know, just, um... don't fuck her.

At least not on my engagement party.

Whatever, again, I think, uh...

But... not at my thing.

I'll call you and we'll do something soon.

I'd love to, yeah. 'Cause, bro, I am...

I am open.

- I bet. - I'm open, you know.

Hey, babe. Oh, I got them. They look beautiful.

We should go and take a look at them.

Hey, man.

Chili's ready.

Oh, hey!

Where have you been?

Oh, God. I've been training. Just did 13 miles.

Oh, what happened to your leg?

Oh, right, uh...

I fell so good.

Uh, are you okay? 'Cause, you know, we're suppose to...

- What? - We're supposed to go to Max and...

No, I'm kidding.

I'm sorry that we have to go to this party and see everybody.

Oh, no. That's what all the couples' therapy is for.

And at the end of the day, it's just a few hours, right?

Baby, I mean you know that...

I'll try this.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm.

- Look, I just want you to know... - Whoa! Brainfreeze!

You know, you don't have to come tonight, right?

No, I ain't letting you to go to this thing alone. Hmm-mm.

- Excuse me, is this seat taken? - Sit down, fucking sit down. Sit down.

I wish I had time to cool down. I'm sweating in this jacket.

You know, my leg cramps after ten miles.

Um... let's... Let's go to another part.

Sweety, there's two seats. Here, right by... Here, together.

Come on.

Come on. You lucked out. Come on, right here.

- Look at this. Sweet! - Okay.

Yeah.

Why...

Oh, my God!

We're all on the same train!

What are the chances?

What? Oh...

- Hi, everyone. - Oh, my gosh. I didn't see you guys there.

- I didn't see any of you. - Hi, everyone.

- That's... - Hi!

Oh, excuse me, sir.

Would you mind changing seats with me?

- No. - It's okay, not necessary.

Yeah, I don't wanna inconvenience anybody, Marianne, so it's fine.

- I'd be happy to move. - Stay the fuck down.

- Don't you fucking go. - Ah!

- Come on, Nick. - Okay.

- I'm so... - Okay.

Good!

- Hi! - Hi. Hi. It's fun. It's fun.

Ah!

Marianne, do you have any plays coming up, or...

Um...

Have you guys heard of Shakespeare in the Park?

- Yeah. - Oh, wow!

Wow, that's great!

- I'm gonna audition. - Good luck.

- Ah! Ow! - Are you okay? Are you okay?

Out, get out!

I mean, my leg is cramping. God damn it.

I got it. No big deal.

Marathon, running a marathon. Okay.

I'll walk it out.

My God. I haven't seen you in, like, forever.

- Yeah. - Have you been living under a rock?

I've been, you know, lying low.

Got a weird roommate, finished my book.

It's, uh... It's about centaurs.

Oh, okay. Is that the half-bull thing?

That's a minotaur. That's a common mistake.

- Yeah, centaurs are half man, half goat. - Oh, no, that's a satyr.

- Half man, half goat is a faun. - I think that fawn is a baby deer.

Oh, babies...

That's fawn, F-A-W-N, I'm talking faun, F-A-U-N.

I briefly majored in folk and myth, remember?

- Oh. - Forgot you were a goth weirdo.

Uh...

So, what's your book called?

The working title is... Boy Horse.

Well, you know, write what you know.

Come back! Come back.

Have you talked to Lisa?

- Have you talked to Lisa? - No, I haven't. I haven't.