The River Thief

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Some places change things...

some days...

some people...

they can put a mark on you that won't ever wash off.

The good ones...

and the bad ones.

Learned that more than one way.

Before all this...

life was simple.

I was an alley kid.

If I needed something and you didn't...

I made it mine.

An empty bed...

a clean shirt...

a bike here or a truck there.

Might seem awful, but...

I never felt bad.

Not usually.

But like I said...

some places change things.

Hey!

Beat you to it.

You do not know what you're doing.

I came down this river looking for my father.

Don't know why.

Maybe I was hoping to take something from him.

I was so young when he moved on...

I only remember his boots.

Do you need anything? Can we help you?

No thanks, I don't take handouts.

Can I help you?

Want to take a ride in my raft?

Uh, no thanks. We have our own.

Really?

I only saw mine down there.

I'll let you keep the cooler.

Are you kidding me?!

There's our boat!

Thank you, thank you all!

Come back soon now.

And you ma'am...

Wanna come back right now?

No?!

Phone number?!

Morning Star to River Mule, we're in the bend and on your six.

Repeat, in the bend and on your six.

Clyde, no games.

I'm not going to be at the docks tonight unless I get a sample now.

Moron!

Who wants some methamphetamines?!

Whooo!

Party payload in four...

three...

two...

one...

Boom!

That's one for the money, River Mule.

Money!

You'll get your money when those fish are on this boat.

...and tested.

...and tested!

No farm salmon.

Farm salmon?! We talkin' about drugs!

You can build a crystal cathedr...

Idiot!

Alright boys, one rare burger,

grilled onions and mushrooms.

One medium cheddar bacon,

fries all around.

You good on drinks?

Hey, where's Shelby?

I'm Selah.

Selah... but this is Shelby's table.

Oh.

She's only the best waitress in town.

Selah!

I don't know...

Alright, one dry burger, plain and quartered.

And fries, extra crispy.

You know,

you don't have to come in here every single day.

I'm not staying with you so I can live off your tips.

Well, I wish you didn't have to work at all.

I don't like that.

You wanna go fishing?

We'll play cards tonight.

Maybe we can go fishing tomorrow.

Love you, Bamps.

I'll give you a moment with the menu.

I'm Diz. I'm ready now.

I'm Selah. Perfect.

Alright!

All done.

Load tonight...

and you get paid.

Where's Lane?

Lane?

Who's Lane?

Clyde!

Lane stole a brick from the reservation

and threw a party under the bridge.

What did you do?

I would have handled it, Clyde!

Well, I can take you to him if you'd like.

By tomorrow morning, his pieces

will pass through the turbines in the dam.

Sturgeon need to eat!

I'll bet he's gonna give some of them a good ole fashioned buzz.

- They're gonna want more. - Don't you threaten me, Clyde.

I don't threaten.

I am.

You shouldn't have served him.

You're gonna have to pay for that now.

He's fine. He's just hungry.

Whatever. Your problem.

The only thing dumber than a guy is a girl.

That's just rude.

Hey!

What the hell, man! You run a $30 tab

and you're just gonna walk out?!

Leaving me with... what is this crap?

I don't believe in money.

Oh yes you do.

You believe in my money, you dumbass,

'cause, guess what,

now I have to pay for this.

With money.

- These will last your whole life. - Great!

What? A candlestick and some weird little shepherd girl?

She reminded me of you.

Pay the girl.

Oh my God!

I vouched for you!

You know, I said you looked nice!

Son, hold up.

I'm cooking steaks on the grill tonight.

I have some work that needs to be done around the house.

- Come to dinner and we'll talk about it tonight... - I don't need a sermon, old man.

Well, that's a matter of opinion.

The address is on there.

Round about 6:30 or 7:00, it'll be fine.

Well, you can keep the money.

I know I can keep it.

I took it, didn't I? It's mine.

Let's call it a gift!

Let's not.

Punk.

No.

It's my mistake. I'll pay for it.

- Selah... - No.

Yo!

Seriously, dude?!

How much for this?

Make me an offer.

Do you take credit?

Prefer cash.

Cash works.

Yeah, we're fine here.

Uh... $150 for the guitar,

$40 for the vest,

$20 for the helmet,

$210.

Hey, Mom.

I got your message.

I love you too.

I'll call you soon.

Bamps is good, uh...

He misses Grandma a ton.

Doesn't feel real here without her.

Hug Dad for me.

And Chris too.

Talk soon.

Three?!

You seriously think he's coming?

Oh, he's coming.

I'd be mad if I thought you were right.

I knew a little girl who used to come to my office and steal quarters...

to buy candy with.

Bamps,

that is totally different. I was eight.

You were old enough to know. And you were old enough to lie.

And you were old enough to feel sick about it after.

It did bother me.

I felt horrible.

I mean, the way grandma looked at me.

Yeah, but Grandma looked at everybody that way sometimes.

Especially me.

I remember you made me put the quarters back.

And then you gave me ten dollars and took me to the water park.

Well, it all worked out to the good.

Imagine if I didn't catch you.

Did you try the sample?

Lovely stuff.

Almost makes dealing with you worth it.

Where's the rest?

Money.

Yeah, it's good.

Son of a gun!

You cook this?