Mozart in the Jungle

A vision is in my mind and in my eyes.

It cannot die, it cannot disappear,

'cause, 'cause it's like energy.

It just... transforms.

And maybe Wolfgang will come back...

as a ghost of a vision.

Which is the same thing as a vision.

Hai Lai, do you think it's okay for me to do the Requiem?

- (PHONE BUZZES) - Oh, shit. Okay.

I actually do really want to talk about this,

but I am late for work, and then I have rehearsal.

- And then I have another work, - (DUCK QUACKING RINGTONE)

and then another rehearsal, and, okay, that's ringing.

And it's probably for you, so why don't you actually

just keep the phone? Just keep the phone. I won't miss it.

I don't want, uh, I don't want a telephone, Hai Lai.

Nobody wants a phone.

If someone feels neglected in a relationship,

they should say something, right?

Even if it's in front of the other person's uncle

- he hasn't seen in eight years. - Uh, yes.

If you feel neglected, you should definitely say something,

but just probably not in front of the uncle.

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- What? Guess what.

What?

- Guess what. - What?!

They're calling you for the Fukumoto conducting competition.

They want to scout you next week.

- Oh, my God! What?! - Yes, I know!

Oh, my God!

You didn't tell me that you applied.

Why you didn't...?

'Cause I didn't want to jinx it.

Wait, what is it?

It's the biggest conducting competition

in the world. This could change her life.

What does that say?

"FFF."

Yes, FFF.

And why do you think Beethoven wrote three Fs

into this score, Alan?

Because he wanted it fortississimo?

Because he wanted to start a fucking riot.

He wanted to start an outbreak

of joy and terror and spontaneous copulation.

But of course we can't do that, can we, now?

No, no, of course we can't.

Because we need a trumpet section that can blow

- like the fucking apocalypse. - (MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING)

Thomas?

Hello. Hi, how you doing?

Um,

I couldn't help noticing that you have a little problem

with one of your cylinders.

I didn't hear anything.

Well... I have a highly-trained ear.

- Oh. - In fact, I used to ride,

you know, with the Liverpool Black Diamond Club

way back in the '70s.

I had a Vincent Black Shadow.

May I?

Yeah, go ahead.

- (CAR HORNS HONKING) Come on, let's go!

- What the hell? - Sorry.

We'll just be a moment.

Here we go, here we go.

- May I? - Sure.

- (ENGINE REVVING) - Oh.

: Oh!

Alan!

Fortississimo! (LAUGHS)

I need the strings

to come on back towards this back wall here.

Good, yes, just bring your stuff.

Bring it all back. Here we go.

Good, that's it, that's it, good.

Um, winds, uh, you're okay.

Although you may need earplugs.

Uh, percussion,

you can walk away.

And then what should they do?

Uh, just find anything to bang on.

You need a sound, so you got to find it.

Eraseface, you've brought the beast.

- She has arrived. - Hey, yeah, so me and the guys,

we rigged up this kind of, like,

- slide whistle thing. - Ah.

It's not really working, but when I figure it out,

- it's gonna be awesome. Uh,

is this a bad time?

- No, not at all, darling! - (CHUCKLES)

They're scouting me at my show at Lizzie's.

I can't believe it. Thank you for making me apply.

- Of course they are. - (MOTORCYCLE ENGINE STARTING)

- Think bigger, Rutledge, think bigger. - (ENGINE POPS)

- (REVVING AND SPUTTERING) - Um, yeah.

So, to make it official, this is not working at all.

Um... but I can figure it out. It's gonna be great.

Are the players gonna be able to hear each other over that?

- I have no idea. - (ENGINE REVVING)

I just think maybe I'm making a complete ass of myself.

Oh, well, me, too.

I have four days to prepare and I'm not even close to ready.

I think we're gonna do the Shaw,

even though we're still learning it.

I don't know, we can

- discuss it at our lesson. - Hmm.

- I know it's unconventional, but... - Mm.

Yeah.

What?

Um, I can't really say, you know.

That's not like you.

Apparently, Bjarne Berggren had a nervous breakdown.

He chewed his fingernails off.

- Ew. - So they needed a last-minute

replacement on the judges' panel.

Oh.

Oh!

So...

- you can't... - I'm sorry, no.

I'm barred from giving you any advice.

You're gonna have to find a new coach.

Do you know anybody?

No, but, uh, don't get a second-rate hack

and ruin my work. And...

: don't use that piece.

I mean, this lot, they're... "Go fuck yourself

if you're not Brahms classical."

So that's my final word.

Except...

if you blow this chance,

I'm gonna kick your ass.

- Okay, I won't. - Hmm.

Each of these candidates has extensive experience

in music education and would be

an extremely capable music director.

All you have to do is pick one.

You pick one.

- No, you pick one. - Gloria, you pick one.

No, I picked the last three.

They were all good. They were really good options.

- Well, you fired them all. - Oh...

Come on, Rodrigo!

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Okay, I... I will pick one.

But I'm not doing Mozart's Requiem.

I'm not doing it. No.

Rodrigo, you're doing it.

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Ah.

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Yeah. Sí, perdon. Perdon, perdon, perdon, perdon.

- Maestro? - Yes.

Ms. Windsor said to tell you she's on a tight schedule.

Okay, um, Sharon, could you...?

Um... can you help me get something

that Mozart touched, like a, like a toothbrush?

I'm sure I can help you with that.

Ay, thank you, thank you so much, thank you.

I just wanted to let you know that...

whatever feelings I've had for you are over,

and, um, I'm ready to pursue

a purely professional relationship.

No.

Okay, okay, that's fine.

- Help me with the mofongos. - Yes.

- Yes? - (PLATES CLATTER)

Thank you... okay, thank you.

And, Gloria?

I was thinking, how about the Fauré's Requiem?

It's a good one, no? It's just a requiem.

He said he wants Mozart.

That's the only thing he wants.

Excuse me.

I'm the musical director, you know? So, in a way,

I can choose whatever I want.

Are you all right? Because you don't seem like yourself.

I'm fine, I'm fine. What-what do I look like?

You look tired.

And... a little nervous.

Yes, I am nervous, Gloria. I'm nervous because

you make me do these things all the time.

Fuck! I feel trapped, I feel completely trapped!

Okay, okay, now, listen, listen, I'm gonna try something.

So asphyxiated!

I'm going to treat you like an adult.

Yes, because I am an adult, Gloria.

I'm an adult.

You did this. You, okay?

You wanted a youth orchestra.

I said it wasn't the right time, but you went ahead.

Fukumoto is a godsend for us.