30 Rock: A One-Time Special

Ugh.

Really?

You don't need a mask, hotshot?

Facebook says masks make the virus worse.

Facebook also says my cousin's marriage is good. It's not.

We're in an open-air system.

Gravity makes the droplets come down.

Whoa, let me find a pen to write all this down.

I didn't know the world's foremost epidemiologist

also crushed laser tag at Rich's birthday.

If you're so scared, why are you out here?

Because my family have asked

for some alone time from me.

Ugh.

You scared of the virus now?

- How about now? - I already had corona.

I was on my way to donate plasma.

Boom! Another successful interaction with a man.

I'm home.

Ooh!

Hello?

Did you get my muffins, Lemon?

Mmm, they're so good.

What fancy place are they from?

They're Shoppe Ennuié.

Am I tasting pear and bacon?

I don't know what's already in your mouth, Lemon,

but listen, Kenneth Parcell emailed me today.

Ugh, why? Is he having another one

of those zoop zort virtual cocktail parties

where everyone talks at the same time

and the camera makes me look like Weird Al?

No, he wants to reboot "TGS" for Peacock.

It's NBC's amazing new streaming platform

where all of NBC's hit comedies from the past 93 years

will be available.

Wow, even "Friend"...

Ow! How did you slap me?

I have the iPhone 40. Now, you do know

that Kenneth Parcell is the chairman

of all of NBC Universal, right?

I guess I kind of remember that.

You're the next president

of the National Broadcasting Company.

He's a very big deal.

Kenneth is presenting all of NBC Universal's new content

to advertisers tomorrow.

The stakes have literally never been higher.

He's got to sell a full year of ads in one meeting.

Thank God it's him.

And thank God advertisers are some of the smartest

and most physically attractive people

this industry's ever seen.

I don't know that I'd want to reboot "TGS."

I do not miss the long hours

and dealing with big personalities.

I've just been enjoying being home with my teenagers

and reading more. Hey!

If your arms are that strong, you could fold some towels.

Making TV just doesn't seem that important right now.

I disagree, Lemon. This is the time

for all Americans to do their duty

to get the economy back on track.

"TGS" employed dozens of otherwise unemployable people.

True. I need you to get the band back together.

OK, I'll try.

I mean, I haven't really spoken to Tracy

since he moved to Canada.

And maybe we should replace Jenna?

She's pretty cancelled every since she pooped

- in Mandy Moore's thermos. - Good by me.

I've always felt that Jenna was replaceable.

I'll set a call with some top tier women.

There are some incredibly talented gente

at Telemundo and USA.

So many hijos can move their faces.

Oh, there's a wonderful actress on Syfy.

Are you open to working with a Falrudian?

- Am I? - She has a human face

but an exposed brain.

There's really something for everyone at NBC Universal.

We are watching the be

and write for a reboot of "TGS."

I mean, if you're not already working someplace else.

Yeah, dude, I'm available.

I was consulting at "Peppa Pig,"

but they wouldn't let me keep my porn collection there.

I told them my old boss Liz Lemon

didn't care about keeping a "safe work environment."

Cool, cool, and you used my full name. Great.

Toofer, are you available?

I refuse to be called that anymore.

Yep, of course. I am so sorry.

James. James.

Thank you.

I'm more of a screenwriter now.

You may be familiar. I wrote "A Prince for Christmas"

and "A Christmas Prince" and "Two Princes, One Christmas."

But Hallmark pays me in ornaments, so I am in.

- Great. - I'm a soft yes.

I would just want to be assured that...

Shut up, Lutz. You're doing it.

Come back to bed, my love.

Wait, is that Sue?

Do you live with Sue?

Oh, boy. You guys are really...

tender with each other. OK.

Leave meeting. End meeting for all.

- God, who is the host? - I'm the host.

Enjoy.

Touch his butt.

So funny that you would think

I was still doing assistant work.

Well, Jack wanted me to ask.

I produce horror movies from Blumhouse now, Liz.

Wow. Yeah.

After 7 years with you, I know horror.

Maybe you've heard of the Lers trilogy.

It's about a 4-eyed monster called the Lers

who thinks she's funny,

and if you look at her feet, you explode.

Well, the joke's on you

because I'm writing a short story about a mean little creep

who can't fly so he eats birds.

OK, whatever, I guess a lot of people eat birds, so.

Jack loves me more than you.

Seeing where you live makes me sad.

So what do you think, hotshot, you in?

I mean, I guess I would come back to "TGS,"

but it would be very different.

I'm living my truth now.

You ever hear of, Liz?

If so, do you know how to spell it?

I've been trying to Google it.

Well, I'm glad you're happy.

I mean, you look...

I assume Paula and the kids have left you?

Left me? Heck...

No, I'm into it, Liz.

I'm finally into it.

OK, great.

That takes care of the writing and producing staff.

Now I just have to call the actors.

Ugh. Good luck.

Bring your guitar.

So we are just looking for someone super likeable

and talented to replace our original actress.

Are you familiar with the show, "TGS"?

I don't really watch TV. I'm more a reader.

Well, it's comedy sketches, some topical.

We had some recurring characters that you probably heard of...

Fart Doctor, Robot Bear Talk Show,

Tike Myson, Baby Boxer.

No, no, no, I don't want to do this.

No, of course. Why would you?

Thank you for your time.

And you're great live, I know,

'cause I've seen you with Andrew Cohen on his program.

What happened to that blonde lady

that used to be on it?

Um, she pooped in Mandy Moore's thermos.

Oh, yeah, she's a monster.

I'm not touching her old job.

And I think you would be amazing at it.

I've always thought you were the funniest person in your family.

No, I am. So if I do this,

would I be able to write my own material?

Because I do some really funny impressions.

This one is Dandy, my dog's business manager.

"Hey, Khloe, how are you? You good?"

Ha ha ha! It's so wonderful.

I would love... Aah!

Aah! Oh, my god, Jenna.

How dare you try and replace me, Liz.

I am "TGS."

When did you learn how to Zoom-bomb?

Last month, so I could give surprise

unrequested graduation speeches.

To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson,

"If everyone reading this donated $3.00,

we could keep Wikipedia thriving for years to come."

- Wow. - I need to perform, Liz.

Science has shown that quarantine

was hardest on hot extroverts.

Every night at 7:00, I open my window

and pretend they're clapping for me.

That's really sad.

Yes, thank you, Khloe.

It is sad.

I've had to create my own opportunities to be seen.

One thing I love to cook for my baby

is pee-za.

You just chop up some bread.

Top it with chez.

And yum! Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

Oh, it's so good.

And I was supposed to be in that "Imagine" video,

but they said I started too high.

How am I seeing these flashbacks?

No one will work with me, Liz,