Ground Floor

Come on, Brody. Everyone's at the company party but us. Let's go.

I have work to do.

Dude, Mansfield said that we could go for 30 minutes,

and... I should've told you that 20 minutes ago.

Let's go. It's gonna be beast.

Fine, I will go if you promise never to say "beast" again.

Let's go!

- Cheers, pal. - Okay.

- Mnh! Mnh! Mnh! Ooh! Yeah! - It's was, like, a late...

- Yeah. Yeah. - It was a late one.

- It hit late. - Ooh.

You know, this party is pretty beast.

You just promised you wouldn't say that.

- One last round? - Let's do it.

Hey, can I get a...

Hey, buddy, I just need two...

I have one month to live. I'd really like a...

Tell me you love the 49ers.

- Oh. I do love the 49ers. - Louder.

I love the 49ers.

God, I love the Niners. This is their year.

What can I get you?

I would like to have two shots... Uh, one Tequila, one lemon drop.

The lemon drop's not for me.

I actually think it's kind of sexy

when a guy's confident enough to order a girly drink.

Could I have some extra sugar on that rim

and maybe one of those little umbrella thingies?

- I'm Brody. I work upstairs. - I'm Jenny. I work downstairs.

So you're one of those arrogant upstairs guys

- ...who works, like, 24/7, yeah? - We don't work that much.

- Ever take time off? - Yeah. This is it.

I have 15 minutes.

Well, that doesn't sound very fun. Don't you wanna ditch sometimes?

I don't know. I never found a good reason to, I guess.

- Bro. - Mm?

Mansfield sent out a mass e-mail. He wants us all back at work right now.

- What do you think? One more drink or... - Oh, gosh.

I don't know, fellas.

Is... is Mansfield one of those bosses

who doesn't mind when you ignore him?

Or is he the type of boss

that would move your desk into the men's room for a month

because you decided getting one more drink was more important

than the company he built with the blood of his ancestors?

- He's Mansfield, isn't he? - He so is.

- Nice meeting you. - You, too.

Oh, good. You're up.

Guess what? My mom's in the neighborhood, and she wants to go to brunch.

You'll come, right? She thinks you're so cute.

I texted her a picture of you sleeping.

Ha! I'm totally kidding, dude.

You should've seen your face. That was pretty damn funny.

Um, I gotta bounce.

Okay. All right. Keeping it casual. Love it.

So how do we say good-bye without this feeling so awkward and weird?

Great work last night?

- Hell, yeah. - All right!

Open? Closed?

Whatever. Okay.

Season 1, Episode 1 "Pilot"

Yo, Threepeat.

Keep dropping the ball on the Danson trust,

and I'm gonna steal that client.

- Ball tap. - Uhh!

It's the only way to keep these young guys in check, you know?

I know you think you're being their mentor,

but really, at the end of the day, you're just grabbin' nuts.

So, uh, that girl that I hooked up with is pretty cool.

She works for the company support staff.

Dude, you hooked up with a ground floor chick?

Was it on a dare?

You're judging me?

Because you carry a list in your pocket of stuff you'd like to have sex with.

Oh, and look. You crossed off "giant stuffed teddybear."

Yeah. Yeah. We were in a toy store. You gotta check this out.

Fellas, gather 'round.

Oh, this part's boring. It's mostly just kissing.

Well, this is good.

See, I was worried that you'd all waste

the five or so minutes before our morning meeting working on your pitch books.

Instead, I see something that, honest to God,

I wish I could show to all our clients.

The fine young men I picked to manage their money,

gathered together,

watching one of their brethren pretend to make love

to a toy.

- Mr. Moyer, not participating? - I'm too sad for the bear, sir.

Well, he's a build-a-bear, son. We'll be able to fix him.

Still, I was speaking of Friday night.

You never came back to work. Young Kyle here tattled on you.

And I know, Kyle. I promised I wouldn't tell who told me.

But, son, I lie sometimes.

Mr. Moyer, join me for one minute out on the balcony, won't you, please?

Let's, uh, let's spark up some guy talk. What do you say?

I'll lead off. Please, have a seat.

How 'bout those Niners? Do you like working here?

I'm sorry that I skipped out on Friday night.

I just... There was this girl...

Ah, yes.

The start of every tragic story.

She works on the ground floor...

There's something you need to understand about ground floor people.

You see, they came here right out of high school,

and they're sitting behind the same desk

that they'll be sitting behind for the rest of their lives.

The only way out

is to find a meal ticket like you, Mr. Moyer.

Oh, well, she didn't seem like that kind of...

I'll give you a signal when I'm done talking, son.

Now...

I refuse to lose my most promising young money manager

to a sea of personal problems.

You go down, tell her it's over. Be nice, but be clear.

I assume you're grinning like an idiot right now

because I said "most promising" earlier?

I am.

Stand up.

Please don't celebrate till you've left my balcony.

I can't believe you slept with one of those soulless upstairs guys.

My one-night stand alarm went off, okay?

I only let myself do those biannually.

I was in a weird mood. My mom sold the house I grew up in.

- Where was it? - Everywhere.

Oh. It's an RV. Yeah.

It was cool. Sometimes I used to drive my house to high school.

How about you, Derrick? You hook up at the party?

Oh, man, I got me a little Cuban chick.

Slammin' bod. I mean, she had some fiesta titties, man!

Sweet. What's her name?

- I didn't meet nobody. - Ah!

I thought you were gonna try to stop lying all the time.

Yeah, man, I can't stop the first lie. That's just who I am.

Jenny's making me work on coming clean

if somebody asks a follow-up question, though.

So please, no follow-up questions.

So I take it your brother's not getting us playoff tickets?

No, dude, he's definitely gonna get the tickets.

- Is he really getting the tickets? - Hell, no, man!

Brody! Hi.

Hey. I didn't even know there were offices down here. Wow, it's hot.

Oh, yeah, that's 'cause all the building's electrical equipment's back there.

I'm pretty sure none of us can have babies.

Look, I wanted to explain something about the other night.

Don't sweat it, okay? Everybody's got weird sex stuff.

I like eye contact, and you like to yell "Yahtzee!" when you finish.

What? I can't help it. I say "Yahtzee" when I get turned on.

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

Whoo! Last night I was out dancin' with my gays till...

Well, now.

Changing to my work clothes.

Is this the upstairs guy?

You look like a tool.

- Be nice. - Okay.

You look like a tool!

All better.

Ooh, that was awesome.

I'm sorry. I should've said I was in there. That's my bad.

Whatever, man. I'm just glad I'm finally at work.

Gotta get some sleep.

Anyway, I just wanted to ta...

Building support.

Hey. Come on. Let's step outside, chat for a second.

- No thanks, man. - Aw, come on.

I'll give you the scoop on Jenny.

Oh, he liked that.

Hoo!

Hey, fellas. Uh, anybody want a cigar?

That's disgusting.

Are you sure? They are falling from the sky.

Oh! Still lit.

That means it's fresh.

Now here is the scoop on Jenny.

Stay away from her.

She loves me.

We're just in that magical time in a relationship

before she knows she's in one.

What other imaginary things do you and Jenny do together, huh?

You go on long walks by the ocean?

Go to one of those build-your-own-yogurt places,

and then she puts a cherry on her nose?

You bite it off, right? But now you're too cold.

Now you guys go to that coffee hut.

You get your soy latte on, right?

Because she can't digest dairy.

And then you say, "I love you, honey."

And she looks right back at you.

And then what happens?

Calm down, Harvard.

How'd you know that I went to Harvard?

Uh, he was talking to me, fancy pants.

We call him "Harvard" 'cause he went to college.

A very competitive community college.

It's a 24-month program, and I actually finished it in 22.

Hey. So what'd you need to talk about?

I was actually hoping to do this a little more privately.

"Do this more privately."

Friday night was great, and you're a really sweet girl, but...

Do you wear colored contacts?

No.