8 Simple Rules

What's going on?

Bridget got suspended from school for organizing a protest.

What were you protesting?

The lack of mirrors in school hallways?

No, but am I the only one concerned about that?

I mean, 'hello', beauty discrimination.

Now that's the Bridget I know.

Not the one who stages protests

to save frogs from getting dissected.

Okay; That's because

She didn't organize the sit-in. I did.

What?

Well, she covered for me so I wouldn't get in trouble

and I'd be able to go on my summer program to Europe.

Well, that makes more sense...

Yet I don't feel happier.

Oh yeah; Thanks by the way, Bridget.

Yeah, because of you, my girlfriend's gonna run off to Europe

and fall in love with some fancy French guy named 'Jose'.

Jose is Spanish.

You've already met him?

All right, this is it.

I am going to go down to that school

and make this right with the principal.

Yippee'! I get to deal with him again.

That's okay. Mom, you know what? You don't have to do that.

I can live with my punishment.

Bridget; You got suspended.

That means you're gonna miss the last 2 weeks of school.

Well, You know; I get a week jump on my tan.

And truth be told, I am not prepared for finals.

Honey; It can affect you getting into College.

Hey; No one said life was fair.

-You'd miss the prom. -Oh my God!! What have I done?

Whoo-hoo!

Well; You can all start sucking up to me.

You're looking at the new roadie for 'Aerosmith's Summer Tour 2004'.

What's up?!

A roadie? Isn't that the guy that

jumps in a barrel to distract the bull?

That's rodeo clown.

All right?

A 'roadie' is the dude who moves all the band's equipment around.

Oh, much better.

That's the coolest job ever. How'd you get it?

Last night I kinda bumped into Steve...

'Steven Tyler'...

At his hotel. I was dressed as a waiter delivering room service.

And I was like, "Yo, Stefan, you know,

how about a little hookup for your summer tour?"

And he was like, "sure." And I was like, "sweet."

And the cop was like, "I'm firing once."

"Sure"? That's what he said? "Sure".

That's your job offer?

Yeah. You know. It's gonna happen. You'll see.

Pretty soon I'll be knee-deep in groupies rocking out to Aerosmith.

Now I'm gonna go downstairs and try on some headbands.

Oh, grandpa; We should get going.

About a half hour before they feed the snakes at the pet store.

I'm not in the mood, Rory.

Not in the mood to see snakes swallow gerbils?

Think you know a guy.

Dad; Are you doing okay?

You... you never miss feeding day.

Who are you?

Dad?

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm fine. No, I...

I do have something on my mind:

Your mom called.

And she broke up with Paco and it got me thinking.

You know; Maybe I ought to give her one last shot at... 'this'.

Excuse me.

What's with the sign?

Oh, we started a campaign to protest Bridget's suspension.

You know; Some of us are writing her in for "Student Body President".

-You're kidding? -Girl: No.

We just get really upset when we think of

your poor sister stuck at home,

suffering for her political beliefs.

Yeah! I just use 45 on my face, baby oil on my legs,

15 everywhere else and then cook till done.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm... ooh,

Brain freeze. Mmm!

Cate Hennessy is here to see you.

Again? I'm really not in the mood to deal with...

Cate! It's good to see you.

Look; I've got to talk to you about Bridget.

-You have got it all wrong, Ed. -Apparently I do.

I never would have figured her for an animal-rights activist,

not with all the leather she wears.

That is just it.

Bridget did not stage that sit-in.

Kerry did.

Ah. Okay well, I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong.

Carole! Would you give me the forms

for reinstating Bridget Hennessy? Please...

Thank you.

And the forms for suspending Kerry Hennessy.

-What? -Wait wait!

You can't do that. You can't suspend Kerry.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I can.

Yeah, but Kerry is one of the best

students this school has ever had.

One of the best? "The Best."

Excuse me?

Better than Min Su Li?

He shouldn't even be here. He's six!

Sure...

emotionally.

Not now, sweetie.

Did you just call me "sweetie"?

Please, Ed.

Look; You know; rules are rules

and I... I actually have a meeting.

All right, well; What could be more important

than rectifying the unjust suspension

of one of this school's best students?

Well, how about a hot-lunch program for the poor kids?

Well; How poor are we talking?

Quite poor.

And I really am late. I'll tell you what:

We can suspend Kerry's suspension

until we figure something out, okay?

Ed; Are you blowing me off?

No, no, no. How about if we meet for coffee?

Okay; When?

Ah... Thursday.

-After school? -It's a date.

All right.

Okay! Now Kerry; See?

It's all gonna be worked out.

It's all gonna be worked out?

You just agreed to go on a date with my principal!

Uh, Steve;

Just getting the lowdown on the roadie gig.

Need the detes, all right?

So, call me. I'm here.

I mean, I'm not...

I'm not waiting by the phone.

That's desperate. I don't... You know; Come on.

I'm cool. I just... I got some stuff going.

But seriously; Give me a jingle, pal.

I love you.

God!!

I hate machines.

They get me nervous.

And apparently a little gay.

By the way, Steven Tyler's people called you back already.

What?

Yeah, I wrote down the start date for you.

Well, gimme it!

Ha ha ha ha!

"March 20 never of 2000... Suck it."

So uncool! Dude!

Oh, classic.

C.J...

You mind if I ask you a question?

Yes. If it comes to that point, I'll pull the plug.

That wasn't the question.

You've been dumped by a lot of girls. Correct?

Yeah, a few.

A few hundred. Yes.

Yeah, and of those girls

Were there any that you wanted to win back?

Yeah, uh, a few.

But they're always, "You know; it's better

if we're friends now."

Or, "how'd you find out where I moved?"

Or, "I'm into girls now." You know.

That was a mistake.

Oh Kerry! Oh, my goodness.

You are never gonna believe what happened to me.

No no no, me first.

Mom agreed to go on a date with principal gibb.

Ahhh..!

I did not.

We are just gonna have coffee

and discuss my delinquent children.

-He said, "It's a date." -It's an expression.

Yeah, which means "Let's date."

Okay Okay; you know what? I can handle this.

Where are you having the coffee?

Does it matter?

Oh, so much to learn.

Okay; If he takes you to one of those coffee chains,

it means he's just there to talk business

but there's potential for something more.

And if he takes you to an intimate coffee house,

that means he's completely into you.

And if he shows up 15 minutes late,

that means he's outside waiting

for you to buy your own coffee.

Don't hate the player; Hate the game.

President!

Bridget was elected "Student Body President"!

You're kidding? How'd that happen?

A bunch of idiots wrote her in.

Well now, Kerry, you said so yourself.