Alley Cat

Damn it.

Hello?

Billie? Hi, this is Rose Goldstein from next door.

I hate to bother you at this hour,

but I thought I ought to tell you somebody's stealing the tires off your car.

What?

I said somebody's stealing the tires off your car!

Do you want me to call the police?

Hello Billie, hello?

Belinda?

What are you doing?

Turn on the light.

Grandpa please, leave the lights off.

Someone is trying to steal my wheels.

Okay guys, that's enough.

I said that's enough!

That's my car, just leave everything the way it is and get out!

Hey bitch, didn't your daddy ever teach ya nothin'?

Never bother a man when he's workin'.

Just leave now and nobody'll get hurt.

The only one who's gonna get bumped here is you.

Hey!

Let's get the hell outta here!

Where you jerks been?

We're...

- We had a problem. - So, what else is new?

The problems started the day you were born.

Hey man, we got shot at!

Did ya get hit?

No!

So, big deal.

Hey, do you guys mind?

Anyways, it was this old guy with a gun and some broad...

You guys really can't manage to take care of yourselves, can ya?

Aw, come on, Bill!

You got your asses kicked by an old man and a girl, right?

Bill, I gotta take a pee.

So go take a pee.

You bastard!

Who is she?

She's the new Miss Blow Job of California.

They're holding nationals next month.

I heard that!

Yeah, and you're lucky I'm not gonna be one of the Judges!

Okay guys, tell me what happened.

We were ripping off some tires.

Hey, like you told us alright?

And then this old man and some broad come out,

and they start playin' games...

She was in karate!

She was a real tiger.

Okay...

Since you pussies can't handle it,

I'm gonna show ya how...

Tonight we're gonna play some games with them.

When I get done with that tiger,

she'll be nothin' more than an alley cat.

Tom, you go steal us a car.

Not just the tires, the whole car.

You got it, babe.

And you got it too, 'cause I got the clap!

Hey man, you're late!

I don't like waitin'!

I didn't see you waitin'!

I've been out here honkin' for a half an hour!

Drive, asshole!

This is some good shit, man, it's laced.

Joint'll blow the whole room away!

Hey man, put that shit away!

We got work to do!

I want your head on straight 'cause my ass could depend on it!

Drive, asshole!

We're comin' baby. We're comin'.

Adios amigos!

Yeah, "drive asshole."

That old man's as good as dead.

The old fart's gonna get his balls busted.

Stupid kids, we should've kicked ass!

- They're in there. - Are you sure?

I'll tell you man, I saw 'em go in.

Wait here, I'll check it out.

Oh, hey, I'm sorry!

Age before beauty.

Go ahead, please.

- How does it look? - Piece of cake.

Drive, asshole!

We should get some wind soon, maybe some rain.

Wash all this smog and dirt away.

I like the fall.

There they are.

All right, old man. Take it easy and nobody's gonna get hurt.

Gimme your wallet!

I like the watch!

Come on, come on!

All right, you got your old broad's purse?

I got it, I got it!

Gimme the ring!

- That's my ring! - Don't touch her!

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

Dr. Swanson,

please pick up on line 221.

Dr. Swanson, you're wanted in Emergency Room.

I'm Belinda Clark.

My grandparents were brought in here yesterday.

Could you tell—

- I'll be with you in a minute. - Could you tell—

Just be seated.

Of course! Well, I was up with him last night.

Well, I was up with him last night!

- Well, I was up with him last night! - Excuse me.

His legs were all over me!

Excuse me!

Hold on a second...

May I help you?

I'm looking for Kate and Charlie Clark.

What department do they work in?

They don't work here, they came in here last night, on...

They were in some kind of accident.

Hon, I can't give out that information.

Just be seated and the admitting clerk will be with you in a moment.

Right over there.

Calling Dr. Jones.

Oh, I'm sorry...

No, no, no, it's okay.

Here, let me see it.

No, no, no, really, it's okay.

- Oh, well, would you let me— - No, I'll just go down—

No, I'll just go down to emergency, get some ice and cotton for it.

Look, I am really sorry.

But those assholes down there were givin' me a hard time.

The cop—

The police came to my apartment this morning at three o'clock

and told me that my grandparents had been rushed down here.

So, I come down here and nobody in this place gives a damn!

You're Belinda Clark, right?

How did you know?

Not "balling," bowling.

And they went—

Paging Dr. Meldrum.

Pick up line 221.

Well come on, I'll show you the way.

Calling Dr. Meldrum.

Gramps?

Oh, thank God you're alright!

I was so worried...

All they would tell me is that you were in some kinda accident.

Gramps?

What's the matter?

Katie's hurt bad, baby.

They took her away as soon as we got here.

Paging, Dr. Andrews. You're needed in Emergecy.

Dr. Andrews.

Oh wow, look at your nose...

I'm really sorry.

It looks worse than it really is.

Listen, I'd be happy to pay for the damages.

Eh, don't worry about this, the city pays for it.

Besides, I told 'em that a bank robber hit me in the nose with a bag of loot.

How's your grandmother?

Well, the doctor came in just after you left.

And he said that she's still in a coma.

He doesn't know when she's gonna regain consciousness.

I don't know anything.

Can't even get a straight answer in this place.

Hey, I get off in an hour.

What if you buy me breakfast?

Make my nose feel a whole lot better.

Well, thank you, but I think I'm gonna have to take a rain check.

I'm gonna let gramps sleep for a while and then try and convince him to go home.

Okay, I'll give you a call.

You don't have my number.

Oh yes, I do.

Bye.

You hungry, gramps?

No.

Here, gramps.

I want you to take this medicine

and then I want you to go and get some sleep.

I don't pop pills.

I never have and I never will.

Besides, it's only four in the afternoon!

Gramps, this isn't dope.

These are sleeping pills.

If you don't get some sleep you're gonna get sick.

I've never been sick a day in my life!

Besides, I don't need a pill to make me sleep.

Gramps...

I love you.

I love you, babe.

It's so good having you back.

We only get 20 to 30% identification.

Most people are either scared or they don't care.

God, half this city must be criminals.

Sounds about right.

It's him!

That's him!

He's the one in the store and by the alley!

He has a long record.

Nineteen arrests, three convictions,

auto theft, armed robbery, and assault with a deadly weapon.