Up All Night

Seven, six...

Five, four,

three, two, one...

Happy New Year!

- Oh. - I'm sorry.

- Hi. - I'm Chris.

Reagan.

- Hi. Hi, Reagan. - Hi.

- Nice to meet you. - Ooh, my God, Reagan.

I've made a lot of mistakes.

But this year's going to be different.

Sweet goatee.

Both: Three, two, one... Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, Mrs. Brinkley.

- Mm, I love you guys. - Mwah.

We love you, Ava.

2005 was the year of "my bads".

But this year's going to be different.

All: Happy New Year!

- Happy New Year. - Happy New Year, sweetie.

Happy New Year, babe.

Happy New Year, honey.

I just had a revelation about New Year's Eve.

If you can't drink, it really sucks.

You know, I've made some mistakes.

Right.

But this year's going to be different.

Okay, thank you, Sanjita.

Well, that's it.

I can't find anyone to babysit on New Year's.

What do people with a baby do for New Year's Eve?

Well, you know what, we're prisoners,

- so let's just make it fun. - Okay.

Kind of like that apartment jail

that the good fellas used to hang out in.

We'll just make a meal, and we'll... we'll slice garlic

with a razor blade, and let it dissolve in a pan real nice.

We can bust each other's balls.

You want I should call Ava and Kevin, see what they're doing?

Why don't we have just a good old fashioned game night?

- Oh. - Yeah.

And the last few that we planned, you got sick.

Was I? I don't even...

You know what, we could watch a movie instead,

that would be really fun.

No, game night. That's what we're doing.

We're doing game night. Game night!

Okay, well, as long as you can keep it

casual, and fun, and non-competitive.

Of course, honey. Come on.

I mean, unless someone's a total puss.

See, that's what I'm...

No, I'm going to go try to find

all those games that we have.

Game night's not happening, right?

We're both in agreement on that, we hate it?

Ooh, Kevin. This is so embarrassing.

I was asked to be grand marshal

of the pacific palisades New Year's Day parade.

Well, not to brag, but I just dropped off

a bunch of privacy slats

for the dumpster chain link at the Sherman Oaks Petco.

Mm, privacy slats, are you freakin' kidding me?

Oh, careful, careful. Watch the makeup.

Oh, Bart's here to get a quick pic of me

for the Los Angeles Times.

I hope this isn't inappropriate,

but you are even more beautiful than Naomi watts.

I get that a lot.

You must be so proud of her.

I'd give anything to wear a cape and have people like it.

I don't know.

She's just so much more fancy, you know?

I worry sometimes that I can't live up to her.

Don't do that to yourself.

You can't. Who could?

- Hi. - Well, hello there.

You know what, I can get with the whole Capelet trend,

but the... I think the wand is too much.

Oh, sweetie. It's a scepter.

Have you not been grand marshal of a parade?

I wanted to know, uh, would you and Kevin like to come over

for a very old school game night for New Year's Eve?

Oh. Well, your wish is granted.

Oh. Ow!

No, seriously, a low-key couples' New Year's sounds fun.

- Right? Doesn't it? - Yeah.

I mean, no velvet ropes, no bottle service,

no telling the bouncer that his neck tattoo is sexy.

Yeah.

Hey, Missy, um, what are you doing for New Year's Eve?

Actually, just going to hang out

with my lame boyfriend, Isaac.

He's, whatever... I met him on j-date.

Missy, I didn't know you were a "j".

Oh, actually I'm a "Roman c".

But I do love a "j".

Isaac's only half.

Well, why don't you and your half a "j"

come over to my house for New Year's Eve?

You know what I'm sayin'?

- Yeah. -

Mine explodes afterwards.

Rocking my cool party shirt, my tight party shave, right?

What happened to all the games?

Uh, I don't know.

Honestly, babe, I want you to check out my face

and compare it to Amy's bottom, just, texture-wise.

I can't find any of the games.

Yeah, that sucks.

Did you end up checking the, uh, in the mumble room?

Okay, you literally just said, "mumble room".

- Hey buddy. - Hey guys.

- Christopher. - Hi. Oh, you look great.

Down boy, I'm taken!

Okay.

Reagan!

Let's crank it up.

Wow, dude, I've never seen you wear a jacket before.

Thanks. It's for Ava.

Okay.

All right, I don't want you to freak out, Chris...

- Yeah? - But I brought fireworks.

Thought we could do a little display come midnight.

Dude, this is awesome.

- All right. - You boys.

But seriously, if anything happens

to Kevin's beautiful hands, I will end you.

Hey you guys!

I'm so happy you're here.

- Oh, yay. - Yay.

Help yourself to some food. I also made jell-o shots.

I've got regular ones, and virgin ones,

for people who just like jell-o.

So here you go.

Honey, babe, I found the trivial pursuit.

What?

It was in a box marked "old bulbs".

That seems like an honest mistake, though,

that somebody might make.

Makes you wonder what happened to those old bulbs, huh?

Oh, wow.

Hey, Happy New Year!

- - Sorry we're late.

Isaac had to stop at the grocery store.

Holy Abercrombie and Fitch.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi.

Apologies for our tardiness. I really feel dreadful.

Cool it, Isaac.

Quit apologizing, it's fine.

Man, you are handsome. I don't know if you know that.

I'm also detecting, like a, um, like a...

Some kind of a Brit accent.

Let me guess. It's, um... it's like a slough.

I'm from London.

London-town! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Got a double-Decker bus in the channel.

Okay, baby, you don't have to fill every awkward silence.

If... I hope it's not imposing, but, uh, I'm a bit of a chef.

If it's okay, I'd love to whip up some tapas.

If it's an ass-ache, just say no.

No, it's not an ass-ache to whip up tapas.

The kitchen's right over here,

and, uh, we also have a loo just over here if you need it.

You can get one of those on j-date?

Okay, he makes David Beckham

look like an actual pile of garbage.

Yeah, he's good-looking, and the sex is amazing.

I mean, he can definitely keep up.

But he's a little annoying.

That bitch is crazy.

That Isaac's a great dude.

He said he liked my jacket too.

Oh, no, it's adorable.

I just... I don't know, I like your usual look.

You know, denim overalls, denim shirt.

You know, "d" on "d".

Ah, Ava?

There's something wrong with your hand, honey.

There isn't a shot of Tequila in it.

- Oh. - Come on.

Got to get this party loosened up.

Well, this was a swing and a miss, huh?

Aw. I think you look great.

'Course, I'm not Ava.

Have you any "aluminium" foil?

Ah! We're in America!

We are.

- Okay, all right. - Ten seconds.

- You have ten seconds. - All right, um...

Henry VI?

Henry VII.

- Oh! - Oh, God!

It's his own country. How embarrassing.

All right, babe, take it easy.

Let's not be the ugly Americans here.

He knows, he knows.

Okay, our turn. Baby, we've got to get in.

Give me a three, give me a three, give me a three.