The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption

Well.

Behold

the great Scorpion King.

Please forgive our revelries, but we cannot believe our good luck.

That being able, at one time,

to rid the world of an Akkadian

and, at the same time,

erase the memory

of your legendary failures.

To your people.

As well as to your queen.

Your queen was a great sorceress.

How was it that she was unable to see her own demise, huh?

Did you really think

that you could be a leader of men? Hmm?

Akkadians are good for but one thing.

Destruction.

You almost single-handedly decimated a civilization

that took over 3,000 years to build.

(SWORDS SWISHING AND BODY THUMPING)

Mathayus, the once mighty Scorpion King,

has lost his empire and his beloved queen.

With nothing left to live for,

his only desire is to die well in the pursuit of mercenary gold,

and freedom from the pain that haunts him.

King Horus, the most powerful ruler in the world,

faces a crisis that could cost him his kingdom.

His brother, Talus, a ruthless warrior,

has taken a legion of soldiers to the Far East to pillage its treasures

and amass an army powerful enough

to return and conquer Horus' kingdom.

Now, Talus marches on the palace of King Ramusan,

Horus' last ally in the known world,

and guardian of the legendary Book of the Dead.

Horus must stop Talus before he lays hands on the Book

and enslaves Ramusan's people.

For this, he needs a fearless champion

willing to accept what is certainly a suicide mission.

Well done, Mathayus.

Formidable work besting Siris.

He was one of my most valued military advisors.

That's funny. He didn't seem to have a head for battle.

Humor from an Akkadian, proof that anything is possible.

We intercepted one of his messenger parcels

detailing all of our defensive strongholds.

Who was he working for?

My brother. Talus.

After my father died and left the kingdom to me,

Talus became very, very angry.

He thought he was the rightful heir to the throne.

With all due respect, Your Highness, I have a few vessels of wine

and a small army of harem girls to conquer tonight.

Can we just skip to the part where you tell me who you want killed?

Your royal nobility didn't take long to wear off.

Walk with me.

The king.

Someone that they call Cobra is the leader of the tribal resistance.

(SCOFFS) Naming yourself after a venomous creature?

Why didn't I think of that?

Once he finds out your mission is to protect King Ramusan,

I'm hoping that he comes to your aid.

Your chances of survival, Mathayus, are minimal at best.

When do I leave?

Tomorrow.

Well, better start drinking. (CHUCKLES)

I only need you to hold Talus off

long enough for me to get my army there.

King Ramusan will give you 10,000 pieces of gold

at the completion of your mission.

I will give you another 10 upon my arrival.

That is, if you survive long enough to collect it.

I'm sending someone with you.

I work alone. You know that.

Mathayus, you stand to help a great many people.

Perhaps that can provide some redemption for past sins.

I'll never have redemption for the past.

The gods will curse my passing, and I will thank them for it.

I do this for money alone.

You all fight like little girls.

Which one of your... Idiots.

...mighty warriors will accompany me?

Who will challenge me? That one.

That ape?

Under what rock did you find him?

He was one of the only survivors of the great siege of Babylon.

We brought him into our ranks

because of his unique skill set.

My men have yet to embrace him.

Go cry to your mama!

I wonder why.

Ha!

Your hat looks stupid.

Assassin!

You Highness, do you really think this...

I'll save you, Sire!

Filthy Akkadian, come here. I'll squeeze you.

Get off me, maniac!

Olaf, have you gone completely stupid?

He's an Akkadian, Sire! He's sent to kill you!

He's working for me.

Olaf's devotion to the realm, albeit humbling,

tends to cloud his judgment.

My apologies.

And you're working with him.

Working? What?

A quest.

Let's drink!

Did you bathe in camel dung this morning?

I smell like warrior!

Well, thank the gods my kingdom is safe. (BOTH GRUNTING)

Prepare them for their journey.

I heard stories about an Akkadian once.

Tales of incredible feats in battle.

A man so mighty many believed him part god.

I do not know much, but of one thing I am certain,

you're no Akkadian.

That's a mighty mound of horseshit.

Oh! I could really go for a sheep's stomach stuffed with crickets.

You probably eat like a bird.

What's with the hair?

How do you get it all straight and shiny like that?

Did Mama comb that hair 100 times every night?

Or did Grandma have a recipe she passed down through the generations?

"Just a hint of bat poop

"with just a touch of monkey testicle."

Oh, how about that? Your balls finally dropped.

See I finally got you to shut up.

You wanna go, Akkadian?

Huh? Already going.

You call that punching, princess?

Or are you courting me with those love taps? Huh?

Great humper of sheep?

Down you go, Akkadian.

At my feet, where you belong.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I mess up your hair?

Wait. Let me fix it.

Nice try.

How does this feel, you filthy swine?

You like my face? Let me give you a closer look.

Give us your gold or we'll cut your throats.

Go back to Mama.

Hey! What are you doing?

My mama sends her regards!

They are fools.

One-legged sheep moves faster than you.

Forget them.

You would know!

Kiss me, precious.

That was the easiest robbery we have done in years.

That's about all I can take from you, Akkadian!

Mmm.

That's good.

Now, that's how you stoke a fire.

Let's sober you guys up.

Nobody touches my stuff!

Crime doesn't pay!

Olaf, make mine medium rare!

At least you'll be able to see where you're going!

Not bad. Maybe you are an Akkadian after all.

That was fun. Almost broke a sweat.

Now where is my baby?

There you are.

This is a nice camp.

It's good of them to get it ready for us.