It Be an Evil Moon

The legend of the werewolf

it's common folklore in these parts.

The moors most of all.

None more truly gruesome though,

than the story of Freddy Campbell.

For I knew the poor fellow and his victims

well.

Hello.

'Is it done?'

Oui,

how you say? Bagged and booted.

'Thank fuck for that'

'Well done old boy.'

'Now dump that Scottish cunt and get back to civilization ASAP.'

'Meet me at The Black Horse tomorrow night

7pm sharp.'

OK.

Garsoin, you old dog.

Sacre bleu!

What is this?

Come on... Traffic.

'New job available. '

Aye.

Taxi!

Hello?

Yes, yes, put me though to Duncan will you.

It Henry, Henry Bartholemew.

Just tell him it's Barty,

he'll know who it is.

Come on, bloody idiots...

Hello? Yes, Yes.

Duncan, how are you?

Hows the wife?

And the kids?

Yes, Yes.

Good. Good.

Uh huh.

Listen, how's the Turk an sale?

Uh huh huh.

I see.

Well, let...

Well, maybe...

Okay, well...

OK, I see.

Hm mm.

Well, that's brilliant.

That's perfect.

No, I'm being sarcastic Duncan.

That way, it's like punching you in the face, but with the words.

Yeah.

How about you suck my balls?

You heard me

or better still, why don't you get your ugly wife to do it?

Yeah., she's not the only one that's ugly.

Your kids are ugly too!

Austin looks like a beach ball.

A beach ball yeah, covered in donkey shit!

Fuck you.

No... Fuck you!

Fuck, fuck,

fuck!!!

Alreet Freddy?

Fucking shite.

What a shithole!

Cheers pet.

You're a bit chatty tonight Freddy?

Hard day at the lab?

Sorry pal, forgot. You got sacked.

I tell you If I ever get my hands on the fucker that grassed you up.

Still, at least the police didn't get involved, ehh?

Keep it down Silon.

For fuck's sake.

SILON Just fucking with you Freddy man

div-vent worry pal,

your secret's safe with me.

So?

What?

Well, I didn't come here for your sparkling company Freddy, did I?

Nice one.

Two beers for me, and wor buddy here!

Cheers, pet.

Thanks.

Alreet Nige?

What's up Silon?

Nout... This place is dead... Fucking ghost town.

Cheap beer though, isn't it?

Aye.

So whens Milyus get out?

The morrow.

Crazy bastard.

Freddy!

Freddy!

Areet bro?

Where is he?

Who?

What's the point man?

Ho way man, it's Conrad.

Wasn't even his fault.

Milius.

Hows tricks man? Good to see you.

Good.

What you doing?

Waiting for a metro.

Okay, here we go.

Did you just hoy Conrad in front of a metro?

For fuck's sake? You've been out 30 minutes!

30 fucking minutes!

Do you need a bag?

Oh, yes, please.

That's 15 pounds.

Card or cash.?

Oh, card.

Okay.

Oh, thank you.

Freddy!

Oh. Oh, oh.

Here we go, Freddy.

That one out,

that one in.

Ohh, oh.

I think we have a winner!

Oh, crap.

Oh...

What time you call this like?

Traffic, you know.

Traffic?

Come here pal.

I'm a busy man Freddy.

Got no time you see.

No time to wait for people.

Fuck Freddy, why you making us wait?

Why are you making us look bad pal?

Like I said Silon, it's a traffic, you know?

All right, Freddy.

Just divent do it again, understand?

Aye, nae bother Silon.

Good boy.

Now, hand it over.

Might need more sooner than later.

They lap this shit up.

Aye, like wild dogs they are around this shit.

Now...

Fuck off!

Prick.

Here,

let's go.

For fuck's sake.

Why do I have to deal with these fucking pricks?

Oh, oh,

Fuck me!

Look at that Henry No5. Okay.

Oh... Wolfsbane,

pickled over the last year. Hmm.

That's an ancient flower.

Very much sought after by druids over the days of enlightenment.

Aye, days before mobile phones

and shitty game shows,

days before

cars, planes and cement.

Beasts of the world.

Beasts of the world, my friend.

Aye, beasts of the world.

Now, by the age of 35, two thirds of men

experience hair loss. By the age of 50,

it's 85% of all men.

I'll be rich,

rich beyond my wildest dreams.

And the world will be my oyster and the sea will be my Guinness.

King Freddy

wisest of the wise,

a modern man with glorious intent.

Hey, hey. Hello.

My name is King Freddy.

Could wolfsbane be the key?

Now, Freddy, shall we see?

Come here, buddy.

Come here.

There you go, that's it.

This won't hurt.

There you go,

its all over pal.

You didn't feel a thing, did you?

You're a magnificent patient.

Would. Would you like some basil?

Hey, would you?

Freddy!

Oh, God.

Freddy!

Morning.

Bahh...

Oh, my God.

This has to be the worst cup of tea I have ever had.

80 years on this vile planet.

And this is what I get?

Milk and water?

Are we at war or something?

Is Hitler back? Hmmm?

Bah.

Are you trying to poison your mother?

No... Course not.