Riff-Raff

You know what you’re doin’ here.

You know which side you’re on, you’re down here. Down here.

All that conduit and anything that wants fixin’, strip it.

No, it’s all here. All this woodwork, I want all that preserved.

Yeah? Yeah.

So, what’s coverin' up?

We have to do something there. Top floor liverpooled it.

Well, just do what ... Just cover it all up. Board it.

So the crux of it is, if you clock on late...

You’ll clock off a bloody sight earlier, right. You got it?

Thursday morning’s pay day. It’s also sackin’ day. Be warned.

We hire these skips, not for you lot to lean on.

They’ve gotta be filled. And while I’m on about it...

I trust none of you lot are signin’ on as well.

I didn’t think you could do that.

You’d be surprised what some of you bastards get up to.

I’ve had my eyes opened a few times, I’ll tell you that.

What sort of things are you talkin’ about?

Thievin’. Signin’ on under a false name.

A casual approach to work. Laziness.

And fuckin’ foul language.

We’ll have no pissin’ in the corners.

Not allowed. Frowned upon.

Not very hygienic, is it?

It’s bloody downright filthy.

Can I ask you a question? Fire away.

What’s your views on the ozone layer?

I'll turn a blind eye to it, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the job.

Nice one that. Anything else? Any chance of the sun?

You have more chance of seein’ a one-legged cat...

Fuckin’ bury a turd on a frozen pond.

I've been told to report to Mr. Siddons about a job.

Really? I thought you'd come to grant us three wishes.

What's that? Here's my P-45.

I don't... The foreman told me to give it to you. I don't want that.

I don't want that at all. I don't want to know about your private life.

Incidentally, tax...

It's paid for by us. But the insurance is down to you.

You're all self-employed.

What's this about fuckin' P-45? Get these lot to work.

Right, come on. Everybody out in the yard, and I'll show you exactly where we're startin'.

Come on, son. Charlie's Angels is looking for an understudy.

Where should I start? Do what? Where should I start me job?

Go and wait in that tea room for five minutes. You see these skips here?

These gotta be filled up by 4 o'clock. Mind it ain't practice at the end, then.

Fair enough, my Lord.

You are a fuckin' idiot.

Anybody else that's left in the grate, anything that's comin' out of here...

Just get it in the skip!

Right, you two mates start in that corridor. Go on.

He's very decisive, isn't he? Yeah, I like decisive people, you know where you stand with them.

Alright, fasten it. See that down there?

That's two dozen sheets of plasterboard.

Get it up on the fourth floor.

Do you run the boss when you're angry?

I've got your number as well.

Alright. What are you loiterin' around for?

You haven't told us what to do.

What, do I have to tell you when to go and have a shit?

Hey, I'm old enough to be your father. Just watch your manners.

Right, who are you? Wilf.

Wilf? Where you from, Wilf?

Bristol. Bristol? Oh right, a sheepshagger? Right.

Get down there with the scags, where you'll enjoy each other's company.

Go on.

Right. I want none of that.

I don't wanna see anybody walkin' around on this site without a hard hat on.

You alright there, Jock?

Stevie. Right, yeah, Stevie. You alright there, Jock?

Where are you stayin'?

I'm stayin' with some mates, you know. It's only temporary.

Where are you goin' after that?

Get a place of me own, don't know.

Do you fancy a squat or what?

Can you get us one?

Yeah, we can get you a squat. Can't we, Mo?

Mo! What's that, Kev? We can get this lad a squat, can't we?

No problem. Come down with us on Saturday. We'll sort it out for ya.

You want a squat, son? There's tons on that there estate.

Come over with us, we'll patch it up.

No problem. 1990, aye. Millions of people without as homes.

Do you know how many people are out of work in this country?

About three and a half million. Do you know how many of them are building workers?

250,000.

Yeah, but that includes the ones that wanna... Oh behave yourself, of course they wanna work.

There's millions of acres of unused land.

I'm not talkin' about green belt. For buildin' on.

And the brickyards are stocked with gear.

No one should be without a home in the 1990's.

It's crazy man. Crazy. You've started him off again.

Liverpool city council built 5,000 council houses when they were in power.

The Labour council, right.

What happens is, they got tea-bagged. The rest of the country, all the councils put together...

He only wants a fuckin' squat! Built...

The rest of the country...

He only asked for a fuckin' squat!

The rest of the country built this...

Did you vote for what Margaret Thatcher did? I just ...

I didn't vote for Margaret Thatcher. You, you... I never voted for Margaret Thatcher.

It's you everybody for her. You voted for her.

Margaret Thatcher got 41% of the vote. There was another 59% voted against her, son.

He only wants a friggin' squat!

I know he does. It's all right for you, mouthin' off all mighty.

You've got a little house, haven't ya?

But he only wants a fuckin' squat. Nothin' else.

They what? They're coming for that Pascal's flat. Pascal's flat, yeah. It seems, isn't it?

Put your leg up. What's that? Just put your fucking leg up.

The first thing you have to do is get yourself a padlock for the door, just to make sure...

Everything's secure in your garage in the morning.

Excuse me, boys. Thank you. There's no flats in here for you.

No, it's not like that. Can we get past please, son.

Sorry? Can I get past? You can't... Can you get past? Yes please.

Let's come on lad, I've got sons older than you.

Move your leg, lad. Or I'll fuckin' break it.

You just fuckin' bottle it! You can fuck off.

No hassle off you. We'll give you none back.

There's no need to speak like that. You need to clean your mess. Come on.

Shame, isn't it.

It's 39.

They're angry at everybody except the people they should be angry at.

Larry, it's 39. What number? It's 39. That is the one, there.

Here.

What do you think, lad?

That's not bad. Home sweet home.

Looks alright outside, doesn't it? Boot it, lad, boot it.

Home sweet home.

South facin' window. All the cons. Your own sound system.

It stinks of fish.

No problem, lad. Bowl cleaner. I'll bet he's used to that.

He cleans up after Larry all the time.

Come on. I'm going to get the gas on. Take the boards off the windows.

Heigh ho! Heigh ho!

Yeah, you need help over there?

We'll clean the air, Stevie. Put that right there.

You don't like that? Fuckin' air cleaner.

You all right, Larry? Perfect.

We use to own this bloody stuff, till she pinched it off us.

We're only getting our own back.

That little job's done then.

Are we sitting comfortably?

I hope my knockin' didn't disturb you, hasn't kept you awake.

We just pulled the bleedin' awnings off the front there.

There's nothing on "News at 10" about it.

Oh well, they haven't switched that off. Yet.

That's another thing we used to own until they robbed us.

Can anyone explain to me...

Why someone's gotta make a profit every time you boil a kettle.

Or every time a kid has a drink of water.

Or every time a pensioner has a warm by the gas fire.

You know before, speculators used to make money out of land.

And how's about it. You know now, they make it out of gas.

What's that supposed to mean... Let me tell you.

Every time you open your mouth it's like a bleedin' parliamentary debate the way you go on about it.

Thank you for the compliment but you don't seem to take any notice of it, do you?

We don't want to listen.

I know but, you're missin' the point.

There's people every day having the leccy (electricity) cut off.

There's people every day gettin' their gas cut off.

You go on and on all the time.

Yes, and I will go on and on.

I don't wanna listen to that.

Oh listen to that, the long-con pro material.

Well you keep goin' on about it. See ya, Stevie.

You're long-con pro material.

They had you in mind when they invented the expression.

So long! Come on, let's go.

Listen Billy Connolly... Don't be gettin' my tubing...

I'll bring it in the mornin'. Cheers lads.

Hey, hey. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey, you know we're working down here! You coulda hit my head.

Hey!

You there. What?

Move it off there, will ya? What? What's it to you? Move it!

Larry! Larry! What? Make way!

What are you doin' now?

There's people walkin'. Go down this way, love.

Go down there. There's people walkin'. Bastards. Old people.

Go. You alright, love?

Don't be doin' anything.

Excuse me, what's more important than right here?

You're out of your fuckin' head.

What? You can'nae (cannot) drop that in there. There's people walkin' up and down.

You dopy pair of sods. If it misses...

Move back. We'll be here all day.

We got loads of 'em here.

Sick!

Back up a bit, will ya.

Larry move, yeah, Larry. Larry.

It's all right. Stand back. Alright. It's coming off.

We'll catch it.

Oh!

That's the way you kill...

Satisfied?

Hey, I think you broke both of his light bulbs.

That's your bonuses for a few Saturday mornings, isn't it?

Hey there smartass! You're a fuckin' loon by the way.

Yeah, crackers, that could have been a kid or anything.

Look at them lazy bastards.

They wouldn't have work or there was none to get.

The working class don't want work, you know.