Murai in Love (村井の恋)

To paraphrase the great French novelist, Maurice Bedel,

the shortest path from human to human, heart to heart, is love.

Love is a straight line.

Let's meet our players.

Ms. Tanaka? I'm here. What'd you need?

Well...

Honestly, I need you to cut the shit.

This is Murai, a 17-year-old high school student

with excellent grades, but a bit of a weird streak.

And this is Tanaka, a 24-year-old homeroom teacher,

who wants to go home to her room. And her otome games.

Why don't I just give you a blank copy and you can fill it out properly?

With your grades, you could aim for pretty much any college you wanted to.

What do you mean? I did fill it out properly.

Oh, hardy-har, you're hilarious.

Do we need to call your parents in, you joker?

I don't joke. I never have and I never will.

Especially when it comes to something this serious.

You have some explaining to do! Even if, okay?

Even if you are serious about your dumbass first choice here,

you realize I can't accept it as a valid assignment.

Surely you understand why that is.

Of course. Frankly, I'm as confused as you are about the whole thing.

I've never had a problem I couldn't work out in my head... until this.

It's impossible to keep this emotion under control.

The only possible conclusion is that

this is simply a once-in-a-thousand-years type of love.

I wanna go home and play my boyfriend game.

- Are you listening to me? - Not even a little bit.

All right, Murai, I can sympathize with how you feel. But you gotta let it go.

Aside from being your teacher, the truth is that I don't consider...

Three dimensional, flesh and blood...

...men with long, dark hair as suitable romantic partners. Okay?

So will you please think about an actual, real career path?

Hmm. Message received. Thank you.

The following day...

Murai, I need you to understand,

the second half of your second year is so crucial

in determining the rest of your academic career path.

Oh... kay. Let's do this homeroom thing...

Yes, I'm fully aware.

And I believe I'll be performing even better now.

Also, I love you. Please marry me.

And, uh, Murai? Come see me in the faculty office after class, please.

With pleasure.

I'm a 24-year-old who teaches high school,

so naturally I hear a lot of "OMG, don't you have a boyfriend?"

To which I say, "OMG, shut up!" I don't need no 3D idiots.

I got my all 2D hotties right here.

I love you, Hitotose!

This is my church. I don't need a boyfriend,

I don't need marriage.

This new art is for real killing me.

Thank you, God, for this divine gift.

Uh, Ms. Tanaka, are you feeling all right?

You've just been staring at me. For, like, two minutes now.

You wanted me to come see you, so... here I am.

Wait. Hold on a minute. This is... Huh?

It's the same picture! It's the same!

I'm gonna be sick, this guy is the spitting image of Hitotose.

Ms. Tanaka, you've rolled awfully far away from me.

All right, get a hold of yourself.

Get a hold of yourself!

I just got that spicy new art on the brain!

That's all! I'm normal!

Just dye your hair back to your natural color before tomorrow, okay?

It's even worse looking at him up close...

- I don't want to. - Oh, lord.

Unless... you don't like short blonde hair?

No, I don't "like" it! It's my favorite!

We are not talking about whether I like it or not,

we are talking about, like, a dress code or whatever,

so kindly stop making fun of me, will you?

I'm not making fun. I'm honestly in love with you.

Enough is enough!

I don't wanna hear any more, get out of my face, Hitotose!

I'm sorry, who's Hitotose?

Kill me. Just... kill me.

What is up with your hair, dude?

I thought you were throwing down a TenTen look, what happened to that, man?

You can't just go and pull a 180 on us like that!

I dunno, I like the do, he's rocking it.

Had a change of plans.

TenTen wasn't working out for me anymore, is all.

What the hell, you're supposed to...

Why are you so loud?

So, what happened that changed your mind about it?

Gentlemen, it's called love.

How long has this been going on

and why is this the first we're hearing of it?

It's tormented me for weeks.

Our boy's a man!

Is this like the love I feel for pizza bagels

or the "people write songs and go insane about it" kind?

Uh... I suppose it would have to be the latter.

Who's the lucky lad or lass, bro?

Yeah, like O-M-G, don't leave us hanging, spill the beans, already!

It's Ms. Tanaka.

What? Stop that.

My guy, my dude.

You're not talking about the Iron Mask, are you?

The what?

Nah, don't be ridiculous, I'm sure he was thinking

of someone totally normal and approachable

and their name just got autocorrected in his head to Tetsuko, right?

Who's Tetsuko?

Huh?

The homeroom teacher of class 2-1, Ms. Tanaka,

AKA "Tetsuko," as in "iron" as in "Iron Mask" as in "Ruthless"?

Because despite being a newcomer,

she's ranked number one on this year's Merciless Teacher chart.

Now, I'm not saying I blame you, here, her measurements are 30-22-32,

which is almost a perfect hip-waist ratio, but listen closely!

As your friend,

there's only one piece of advice remotely worth sharing...

Forget it, Murai.

No, thanks

Okay, sure, do whatever you want,

but winning her heart is gonna be harder

than winning Osaka Castle during the Toyotomi regime,

like, you get that, right?

I'll do whatever it takes. I fully intend to marry her one day,

and not even the shogun could stop me.

You have lost your frickin' mind.

Did you miss that her nickname is "the Iron Mask" or what?

Snap out of it!

Yes, but that description is so ill-fitting

it deserves the scorching heat of a blast furnace. As do you.

Help!

Okay, forget I said anything.

See this squinty little face? I have 20/200 vision.

I usually wear contacts when I teach, but oops!

One of my students has transformed into my malewife IRL

and if I look at him, I'll die!

So corrected vision and I are no longer on speaking terms.

All right. Midterm exams are coming up next week,

so, study for that, or you're gonna be required

to take remedial classes over summer break. Cool?

Ms. Tanaka.

Gotta start locking that door.

What can I do for you, Murai?

What's the schedule for the upcoming summer classes?

No!

We actually haven't set it yet.

But I don't think it's going to be relevant to you, Murai,

your grades are fine. Take a break.

I could, but I think highly of you and want to soak up your knowledge,

so I plan to attend both college prep classes

and the supplementary lessons.

Is that so! How very admirable of you, Murai.

Back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, back up!

Thank you for saying so.

Tanaka's haiku.

It's simply too much.

Too-too, too-too, too-too-too, too-too, too-too much.

Ms. Tanaka? You've turned into a Buddha.

Leave me alone, I'm achieving enlightenment.

Anyway... What happened to your face?

The scratch, you mean? I had a little fight with Tao.

Interesting. I don't remember you ever mentioning a brother.

Because I didn't. This is Tao. He's a cat.

He's mostly gray, but he's got these little white sock feet,

which is pretty cute.

That's adorable!

Here's a picture from when he was only a few months old.

Once he was meowing at me

from across the house and I found him like this.

Oh, shut up, I'd die for him!

And here he is sneaking into the bathroom

so he can curl up in the sink.

Oh, my God! Precious little baby.

Cats transcend all boundaries.

One more thing.

I'm ready!

I love you. That's all.

Huh? Sorry, let's rewind.

We're supposed to be discussing perfect little Tao-kitty.

Try to stay on topic, would you?

Forgive me. Sometimes I just can't resist.

Tanaka's other haiku.

This all sucks so bad.

I can't do it anymore. Please just let me die.

You've turned into a Buddha again. You good?

Murai in Love.

Thank you, hope you enjoy!

Huh?

Murai...

Ms. Tanaka?

What a funny coincidence! Do you come here often?

Why the hell are you here?

Yes, since I was little.

It's my favorite place to relax and unwind. You?

I used to come here every now and then, but I've made more of a habit of it

ever since I moved back to town after college, for the nostalgia factor.

I can handle him fine at this distance.

I'll just leave before he moves closer to me!

Ms. Tanaka. Would you mind terribly if I moved closer to you?