Flack

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Hey, Mom.

Sorry I'm late. Forgot what cabs are like upstate.

I'm in no rush.

Oh, fuck me, look at you.

How do you get more beautiful with age? Is it just you?

Ruth can't fly. Course.

I'm only her mother.

She's about to give birth. Already?

I guess you'll have to do.

So how are you feeling? That feels like a leading question.

I feel ready to go.

I've been here for six weeks, alone.

Mom, I live in London.

I have a job. I called the centre.

I arranged for you to come here.

They actually said that it was

better to come see you on your way out than on your way in.

Well, I'm sure they know best.

So how, was it? How was what? This place.

Did they take care of you? It was fine.

Well, you're welcome. Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Did you want a thank you?

I am. I'm so, so grateful.

I really, really am. I...

I'm just tired, you know?

This place is a fuck of a long way from Manhattan.

I suppose you did that on purpose.

So how are you feeling? Peachy.

I have a theory that cats are the

most successfully-evolved creatures on the planet.

They do whatever they like.

They go wherever they like.

I mean, even a dog you've got

to put on a lead. You ever tried

to put a lead on a cat?

I have.

Tea? Do you have coffee?

They can do whatever they like, and

then they have these human slaves.

Who follow them around and give 'em

a warm bed and regular meals

and clean up their shit.

Mike, why are you called American Mike?

There were two Michaels in my class at school.

Is that it?

Er, I used to have terrible

chapped hands when I was a kid.

My mum made me wear these

black leather gloves.

Gary Goodman said they looked like

the gloves that OJ Simpson

used to murder his wife.

Anyway, bit of bad news.

Doctor Dick's having his

gall bladder removed.

So I'm a little bit behind

on my supply. What?

No, don't panic. I've got a plan B.

I just might not be able to get 'em

to you till this afternoon.

I got the rest of it.

Got you some extra Ambien cos you

said the last lot weren't working,

but I don't need to tell you how

easy this stuff is to get hooked on.

So only use it when you

absolutely need to. Promise? Promise.

Thanks for the, tea.

Text me when that stuff gets in, yeah? Right.

Robyn, you son of a bitch.

This is Melissa. How's London? Is it raining?

So, listen, I got your message about Gabriel Cole.

I don't wanna get into it on the phone, but he had a thing

with one of the girls in the office here, and he got intense.

Put it like this - he's a man who likes to get his own way.

Hey.

Mmm, naughty. I have to work.

HE URINATES Don't mind me. Stay tonight.

I can't. Stay tonight.

Gabriel, I've been here for two nights in a row. I need to go home.

I need clothes. I'll buy you new clothes.

I don't need new clothes, I need my clothes.

Well, see, they will be your clothes.

Where, were we? Wash your hands.

Ladies, this is William Pendelton and Beth Fennell.

Sorry.

William is planning to run for mayor at the next London election,

and wants us to handle his campaign.

Look, I'm gonna cut to the chase.

I want to be party leader in six years, Prime Minister in eight.

That's the golden goose we're fattening up here.

London Mayor is the first step to making that happen.

We don't really do campaign politics. Exactly.

That's why you're perfect. Politics doesn't do politics any more.

It's all about PR.

The last thing people want these days is a politician.

Give them the stats, Beth.

Greater London represents 73 UK constituencies.

It's also home to 59% of the black population of the UK.

If we could engage those voters, we would have a significant advantage.

And I have something none of my fellow candidates can offer.

I'm urban.

The mistake everyone is making these days is

pandering to the old people, who are living too long

and growing more and more conservative-slash-racist with age.

You don't need to be a genius to figure out there will be

a tipping point. Old people die.

Young people come of age.

We believe within the next seven years,

as generation alpha reaches voting age, the pendulum will swing

significantly enough to command a majority.

And then all hail Mayor William, who shalt be king hereafter.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Look, look, these kids have grown up woke.

They spent their whole teenage years listening to the adults

argue about Brexit and #MeToo and Trump and climate change,

whilst not doing a thing about it,

and, as a result, they're frustrated. They're angry.

Which means they'll vote. And the good thing about these kids?

All they care about is image.

When was the last time you saw a young person reading a manifesto?

Personality, not policy, wins the day.

So long as they can feel like they're being progressive enough

to shout about it on social media,

they will literally take to the streets for you.

And what's more progressive than voting for the brown guy?

Not to mention Beth here, campaign manager.

She's a woman, and she's disabled.

Show them your arm.

No. SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

Please stop doing this in meetings.

So, what do you think?

Do you even have tea? I have wine.

So, how's London?

It's great, actually. You really like it there, don't you?

Yeah, I do. Isn't it cold?

No colder than here.

On the shelf to left of the fridge. The little tin.

This isn't tea. It's herbal.

Mom, I literally just picked you up from treatment.

Not for pot.

Come on, baby, please!

It relaxes me.

That's my girl.

So, what do you wanna do today?

I kind of have to work. You just got here.

Mom, the world can't just stop every time you do this.

What's that supposed to mean?

It's not supposed to mean anything.

Every time I do this?

I'm sorry, am I inconveniencing you?

Please don't. Wait a minute. Do you think that I was crying wolf?

Because let me tell you something, sweetheart, I goddam meant it, OK?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just...

I'm anxious, you know.

It's these new meds they have me on. They make me, ugh.

It's OK.

SHE EXHALES

God, you are so pretty.

Not as pretty as you. That's true.

But you sure are pretty.

Are you angry?

No. It's OK.

You're allowed to be angry. I'm not angry.

Is Ruth angry? A little.

Ruth doesn't do "a little".

Wonder where she got that from. Ooh! Guilty.

I'm sorry, we can't all be emotionally detached.

So, let's do something fun.

What's fun? Ooh, let's go for a carriage ride in Central Park.

Mom, I'm not paying 100 bucks

for some tired old horse to drag us around the park.

Fine, I'm just trying to come up with things to do.

When do we see each other? We should do something nice.

You should rest. I've been resting, for six weeks.

Let's go shopping. For what? I don't know.

Ooh. Let's get manicures.

I have been dying to get a manicure.

I don't want a manicure.

For Christ's sake, Robyn, can you just help me out here?

You're so fucking negative.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's just... Come on.

Everything is just...

Everything is just, kind of a lot.

I guess if we're focusing on London for now we need to show people

that you're not just another polished politician in a cheap suit.

You need to show them your London. Talk about your, your ends.

Well, I didn't actually grow up in London.

I'm from Buckinghamshire. I'm not going to lie.

I went to prep school with the majority of the cabinet.

King's scholarship to Eton, four years, classics at Balliol, Oxford.

I know I'm not exactly, you know, Eminem,

but I've had my fair share of scrapes.

I've eaten my share of jerk chicken.

OK, let's focus on your heritage.

Where are your grandparents from? Er, Cambridgeshire.

Other side? Oh, right.