Nudist Colony of the Dead

Order! Order in the court!

We won't stand for this obscenity any more, your honor.

The good people of Pristine county feel there is no place,

for a fraternity of nekkid people to corrupt our innocent children.

Up yours!

You stupid no-good Bible-thumping globs of eye puss!

The human body is a beautiful thing!

Mrs. Druple!

It's prudist limp dicks like you that screw up children in the first place.

Back to your seat!

Tight-ass buttheads...

Mrs. Druple, please!

Listen, sister,

...nudity didn't work for Adam and Eve and it's not gonna work for you.

If God had wanted us to walk around naked,

he wouldn't have made little animals,

for us to cut up and make fur coats out of...

Your honor, we see this as Satan's way of trying to distract our citizens,

from reading their Bibles and going to church.

I have a petition here,

signed by every God loving member of this community,

who can write.

And they insist that that sinful place be closed down,

before it spreads throughout the community,

like video games did in '82, or colored condoms in '86.

Just because you can't stand looking at your own bodies,

doesn't mean you can deprive us of our rights.

Your rights?

Stop, for Jesus says they do.

And Jesus doesn't like nudity.

Well Jesus must love hemorrhoids,

because he's sure got a lot of assholes behind him!

You'll burn for that one, you old bitty!

Oh?!

Nobody calls ME old!

What? Let me out!

That's enough! All of you.

Your assholes are so tight,

you need a crowbar to help you shit!

Mrs. Druple!

Please, please.

Look at the turmoil and unrest that this has caused over the years.

I won't stand for this any longer.

I must make a decision to keep the peace.

Therefore,

I am declaring that the nudist camp

should be closed down within 72 hours.

And the land may be used for recreation by the Church,

in any manner that it sees fit.

Over my dead body!

You can't do that, you can't just take away our land!

Mr. Trickle,

the land on which your nudist colony resides is city property.

It is leased by you or is not owned by you.

You have no claim to it.

And it is my duty to do whatever is necessary

to please the majority of the citizens.

The MAJORITY of the citizens!

But, but we...

And I further order YOU to cover those things up!

Or, or tie 'em down... or something!

This court is dismissed.

Praise the Lord!

Good going, uncle Bob!

...sorry.

I'm pissed!

I'm pissed...

I'm pissed!

I'm cold.

I know it's a shame but this is the only dignified way out.

Shame, shame, shame...

Most of our other members have bailed out on us.

But we who remain are the true soldiers!

Yeah, soldiers...

But the fight is over and, well, the verdict is in.

I've heard enough of this God damn bullchips!

We lost the war, so let's take the God damn poison already!

Do you mind?

Some of us younger ones haven't lived as long as

...others.

Are you calling me old?

Moses would call you old!

Nobody calls me old!

Stop it, Mrs. Druple! Please stop it!

He's not the enemy.

I appreciate your sense of urgency but,

this isn't easy for me either.

I've been a member here since I was a child.

I know, I used to powder your goddamn butt!

Yes, I'm aware of that, Mrs. Druple.

Pissed on me once too, you know.

That's enough, Mrs. Druple!

Got me right in the eye.

Everyone! If we're all ready...

I'd like to say something before we bite the weenies!

What is it now, Mrs. Druple?

I just... I wanna say that...

I feel an anger toward those no good devout butt warts!

An anger that I know I'm gonna take to my grave.

They're the ones who killed us!

They're the ones who are responsible for ALL of this!

We'll all take this to the grave, Mrs. Druple.

You know that it's deeper than that!

I wanna tell you, gang-gummit!

If there's a way to get even with them,

Goggammit, I'm gonna!

In fact,

since I'm being profound...

I denounce this land from all religious fart bubbles!

May any God-damn bible-thumpin' pile of monkey smegma,

who walks on these grounds, be tormented by our spirits!

Whaddya think of that!

We all share your emotions, Mrs. Druple.

I'm sure that, none of us here will rest in peace.

It ain't fair!

This is a nudity colony, gag-gummit!

A nudity colony!

We didn't go to their goddamn church and

...and complain because there are altar boys who wore dresses, did we?

No.

It aint fair!

I know.

Life sucks worse than... my ex-wife.

For sure.

That's for sure...

And that is why we choose... to die!

L'chaim!

Up yours!

This ain't the end of it.

I'm coming back.

And when I do,

I'm gonna kick some holy ass!

There's a place where evil dwells,

home to naked guys and gals,

and one thing that should be said

of the residence of dead.

If you visit, you will pay,

and your butt will rot away.

You may think that it seems crude,

but the corpses are all nude.

Nudist Colony of the Dead

Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!

Nudist Colony of the Dead

Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!

Better go to church instead,

than nudist colony of the dead.

Hanging there can do you harm,

you could lose a foot or arm!

Keep away from open graves,

blood is what these nudists crave.

They will kill you with a grin,

while their nuts are dangling.

They will squeeze the life from you,

in a pool of massive goo.

Ooh.

Nudist Colony of the Dead!

Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!

Nudist Colony of the Dead!

Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!

You will likely be torn to shreds,

at the nudist colony of the dead.

You'll be shaking in your boots

by corpses in their birthday suits.

The horror mounts, the terror grows,

these monsters have no use for clothes!

They are dead without a doubt,

and their butts are sticking out!

Killing people to and fro,

decomposing as they go.

You'll get murdered merrily,

by dead folks without modesty.

They'll kill and hurt and chop and maim,

exposings gonads with no shame.

Nudist Colony of the Dead

Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!

Nudist Colony of the Dead

Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!

There's one place we all dread...

It's the nudist colony, Nudist Colony of the Dead.

Nudist colony, nudist of the dead

Nudist colony, nudist colony of the dead

Nudist colony, nudist of the dead

Nudist colony, nudist colony of the dead

Nudist colony, nudist of the dead.

Nudist colony, nudist colony of the dead.

Nudist colony...

NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD!

Jesus, Jesus, A-B-C-sus,

H-I-J-K- L-M-N-O-P-sus,

Q-R-S-T-U-V-W- X-Y-Z-sus.

No I say to you, my brethren

...and my sistren.

We must keep morality in this town.

Praise God! Praise the Lord!

Hallelujah!

Are you aware,

of what our sons and daughters are doing,

in the back of their automobiles,

with their male dingly parts and female squishy organs?

No. No.