The Grand Tour

Thank you, everybody! Hello.

Thank you.

Thank you so much!

Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much.

This is The Grand Tour,

and this week... we've come home!

We're back! We're back in Britain.

We're actually in Yorkshire, which is...

There you go.

Which is where all three of us grew up.

Specifically... Yeah, specifically... Whitby!

We're in the fishing port of Whitby. There it is.

Now, Whitby, of course, is famous all around the world

for its unbelievable fish and chips.

With scraps.

You what?

Fish and chips with scraps. You get scraps.

Little bits of batter that stay in the bottom of the fryer.

- Yeah, scraps. - No, they're bits.

- Fish and chips with bits. - No, it's scraps.

It is bits! Bits!

Right, hands up for bits.

- Wrong! - Scraps?

- See, it's scraps. - Don't argue with me.

Because I was born in Yorkshire.

Every single one of my family back to the 17th century's from Yorkshire.

I'm the most Yorkshire person in the world.

You know, it's funny, cos you can't tell. You really wouldn't know.

Yorkshire people are famous for speaking their mind.

And when you... We...

We never know what you're thinking. It's just...

What am I thinking now?

You're thinking you're brilliant

and I'm an irritating little short-arse.

- How did you know? - Yeah, it's just...

- It's incredible! - Yeah, I'm psychic, mate.

Other things Yorkshire's cricket. That's not interesting.

Ooh, and then there was a TV show called Last Of The Summer Wine,

which was about three very badly dressed old men

who fell over,

and everything they ever did went wrong.

- It was rubbish. - Yeah, terrible.

I don't know why that took off.

Erm... Carmaking?

Well, let's put it this way.

It's not exactly the Detroit of the British Isles.

No, it's not.

But there is a lot of motoring-related stuff here this week,

because we're in town.

So, let's get on with the show.

Yes, let's.

We begin in Victorian times,

when James May was a little old lady.

You see, back then, gentlemen of means...

- Rich people in tweed suits. - Yes, rich people in tweed suits

would take what was known as the Grand Tour.

They'd go off to France or Italy,

and they'd spend a few months learning about culture

and wine and music.

Nowadays, of course, everybody goes to Magaluf

and learns about beer and vomit and chlamydia.

Yeah.

Now, we think this is a real shame,

so Jeremy and I went off to Italy

to do our own modern take on the Grand Tour.

A wonderful, inspirational journey

that not only gave its name to this show,

but also to 1,000 GT cars:

grand tourers.

Our start point was the Tuscan hilltop city of Siena.

Home to the most exciting horse race in the world:

the Palio.

Look at that! Wow!

It was the beginning of what would be a very fabulous

and very cultured journey.

We'd visit the magnificent cities of Florence

and Bologna and Verona

on our way to the finishing point

in the most magnificent city of them all:

Venice.

The cars we'd be driving were fabulous, too.

James had chosen the Rolls-Royce Dawn,

a new two-door, drop-head version of the Ghost.

And I'd be in the DB11,

the latest in a long line

of elegant and beautiful Aston Martin grand tourers.

Even its door mirrors are beautiful.

Its wheels are beautiful.

This is...

This is one of the most beautiful cars I've ever seen.

Shame it's brown.

- It isn't brown! - Yes, it is.

It isn't brown! It's Sunset Orange.

It's not brown in the way that my car is green.

It's brown.

Your car is a convertible BMW 7 Series.

No, it isn't.

But is it a 7 Series underneath?

- Bits of the floor panel. - There you go.

£265,000 for a convertible 7 Series.

It isn't!

If you're going to drive across Italy,

which we're going to do, taking in some culture...

- Mm-hm. - ...that's what you need.

- A brown car? - It isn't brown!

- It's brown! - Look, let's not bicker.

Actually, on this occasion, let's get on.

We are both going to drive across

what is, I think, our favourite country in the world,

enjoy some culture, enjoy some fine wine,

some food, some art, some...

What was that?

- Is that Hammond? - Sorry I'm late.

We didn't know you were coming.

We rather hoped you weren't.

Well, I am, and look at the car I've brought.

Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat.

707 American horsepower,

and enough torque to pull that old building down.

Just... That "old building" is a...

Oh, well, never mind.

Hammond, Tuscany, not really the home of the muscle car.

Yeah, you see, I was worried you two were gonna be all boring and serious.

And I am here to make sure this trip is fun

because don't tell me the original Grand Tour wasn't fun.

It was like an 18th century Cannonball Run,

only with old-fashioned morphine instead of cocaine.

This is gonna be brilliant.

What's with your advertising?

Well, because the Americans used to do the Grand Tour,

and they used to get sponsors to help cover the costs,

so I've got myself some sponsorship.

What, Bobby's... What is a grit?

That's a... It's a...

a bit left over after coffee or potatoes?

- I don't know. - Well, it's there.

"Rodeo Lube 'N' Tune."

"Lube 'N' Tune." Yep, look at that.

The things is, people will look at me in that

and know I am on a Grand Tour.

You, they'll think, "What are these two old farts doing?"

- Seriously... - You have made no effort.

You haven't got into the mood for this.

Art, music, culture.

- Refinement. - Yes.

Is this something to do with you?

Yes. Yes, they're here.

These are my spare tyres.

Because on a trip like this,

in a car with that much power and that much torque,

I am gonna get through some tyres.

- Tree. - Yeah.

That lot was not gonna fit in the boot, or trunk, was it?

That is luxury! That is grand touring.

Reluctantly, we agreed to let our vulgar colleague tag along.

Ha-ha!

Hammond, you're deliberately making an irritating noise.

Please stop it.

I am, yeah.

I will freely admit that Hammond's Dodge Hellcat is a remarkable car.

It would be perfect if we were at a tractor pull in Milwaukee.

But we're not. We're here.

And here in Tuscany...

...you need one of these.

This is the all-new replacement for the DB9,

and it is the perfect car for the job.

It even comes with three running modes.

You've got Sport, Sport Plus,

and the one I'm gonna use.

GT.

Grand Touring.

Up front, there's a 5.2 litre, twin-turbocharged V12

which produces 600 horsepower.

And they are smooth horsepower.

Dreamy horsepower.

In the fullness of time, you'll be able to buy a cheaper version of this car

with an AMG V8.

It's all part of a deal that Aston have done with Mercedes,

and you can see evidence of the deal already.

This has got Mercedes switchgear, Mercedes electronics.

It's even got Mercedes sat-nav.

And I've got to say...

Aston Martin and Mercedes,

that is the best Anglo-German marriage

since Queen Victoria married Albert.

James, though, disagreed.

Actually, this is the best Anglo-German marriage.

It's perfect, in fact, because it has all the things

that we like to think of as being Britishness in a car.

The sense that it was made by men in aprons,

that there are craft skills and traditional materials involved.

But then you've got the Germans there, with their hi-tech

and their manufacturing efficiency.

It's absolutely wonderful.

It's... It's very serene.

There are a lot of numbers I could quote on this car.

You know, the usual: top speed, power, 0-60.

All that sort of irrelevant rubbish.

But I'm not going to, because that would be, frankly, uncouth.

Oh, talking of uncouth...