The Durrells

Darling, I know. It's beastly.

Everything's excruciating!

Well, at least you're at home now so I can look after you.

If my testicles start swelling, you know what that means, don't you?!

- Yes, I do. - Agony and infertility!

That's really quite rare. Everyone gets mumps. Look how fun it sounds!

Mumps! It's like a clown's name. Ha-ha!

Aaaagh. I blame Vasilia. She infected me.

More fool you for becoming her boyfriend. She's dangerous, Larry.

You look so weird.

- Leslie, please! - He's got a face like a fat person!

Leave! So I can recheck my scrotum.

Mother, stop him talking like that.

Theo told me that a bushcricket's testes

make upper 14% of its body weight.

- Well, that could be me tomorrow. - Stop talking about that area!

It's a good excuse to keep Aunt Hermione away from the house.

Isn't that a bit mean? She's coming all the way from England.

- Yeah, to wag her finger at us. - It's not mean, there's nowhere for her to stay now that Donald's here.

I did notice that. Five minutes after I move out

and you've get a new son and I'm relegated to the guest couch.

- I have the mumps now. - No, you don't.

I will die soon.

- No, you won't. - Mum!

Look at the sky. Dark.

Terrible.

There will be a death soon.

- No, there will not. - Bring me a poultice!

Unless I kill Larry.

So, I'll assess Jerry's abilities, and tailor a timetable to his needs.

Yes, I just want him to be able to do his times table.

And spell Hastings.

Yes, but it... but it's a little more complicated than that.

Oh, hello, Margo!

- Hello, Donald. - Oh, thank you for coming, Theo.

I just felt Larry needed some intellectual stimulus.

And we needed a break.

Well, he'll be out of the infectious stage in a day or two,

and he can go back to his apartment.

I had mumps. It's horrible.

Me too. My parotid glands felt like they were pumped full of glue.

Yes, but at least you've had it, and all the others.

Hugh hasn't, so he won't be dropping in.

Theo, come back and talk to me about Proust.

I go home now.

What? Well, why?

The sky is falling. Someone will die.

Pame pame pame! Grigora!

Why do I have to be educated?

It's traditional.

I learn more from a walk in the woods.

Donald won't be strict. He's sweet.

He's just a bit boring. Compared to him.

- It's going to rain. - How can I get rid of these spots?

- The greater spotted woodpecker. - That doesn't help, Gerry.

Is it unrequited love or some bigger spiritual vacuum?

I think it's the little ducts that get blocked up.

God, I hate being this age.

Oh, gosh.

Quick, Gerry.

Roger, come on! Hurry up, Margo!

Ugh, I hate this!

Hey, hey, wait there.

Margo grab... grab the basket.

People are running around like it's the end of the world.

It's a bad day to be an insect.

- Let me help you. - I want to bring Sally in.

No! Gerry! Come in.

I fear I am trapped.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Theo.

Normally I'd gladly nestle in among Durrells,

but Larry's not at his best.

Ah, you noticed.

Mrs Durrells! Welcome to England!

Ah, Spiro, come in.

I bring you your auntie, looking even more jolly than last year.

Louisa!

Aunt Hermione! Welcome back to Corfu. You're a day early.

Yes. Venice was closed, for some reason.

I shall be writing letters of complaint.

This is Mrs Haddock, one of our British contingent.

She's very special.

Mrs Durrell. I've heard a lot about you.

Well, as they say, all good, I hope!

No, as they say, a fairly mixed bag.

Right.

I assure you that Mrs Durrells is...

What's the opposite of mixed bag?

A bag with all the same things in it.

Anyway, before you take your coats off, I'm afraid Lawrence has mumps,

and he's still infectious.

- Oh, dear. - Yes! And this is what he looks like.

Beware all ye who enter this place.

I urge you to stay in a hotel.

No. Greek hotels are... are dismaying.

It's Mr Stephanides, isn't it?

We visited your somewhat outre home.

You did. I no longer have the octopus.

Mrs Haddock and I are delighted to accept your hospitality.

- Splendid idea! - Excellent.

Sadly, Theo is very busy with his work.

Why is he here, then?

Exposed as a fraud! Ladies, it will be a pleasure.

What's everyone talking about?

- Keep him away! - Of course.

Just hurry up and get better!

Hello. Ooh, nasty spots.

- Yes. - I can cure you. I've got certain gifts.

She has. She is a medium.

- Really?! - Yes.

Me too... or sometimes a 'large'.

Shall we?

- Have you always had the gift? - Oh, yes.

Mrs Durrell, I can feel the presence of your late husband.

No, you can't.

He loved the rain, didn't he?

Hates being alone, as you know. Oh, he's suffering terribly,

now you so have many male admirers.

It's rather cosy.

It's like a prison.

Well, the forecast says two days of torrential rain,

- so let's just enjoy being together as a family. - Plus Donald.

Half the Nativity.

She was looking sad.

That's what donkeys look like.

And it's a great opportunity for us to start tutoring in earnest, Gerry.

Poor Theo, having to put up Aunt Hermione

and that... Haddock woman.

I thought she was marvellous. She's going to cure my spots.

- What spots? - Those.

The ones on her face.

All that nonsense about being a medium.

So, how did she know Daddy liked the rain but hated being on his own?

Well, who does like being on their own?

Me. - Me too. - I rather enjoy it.

I remember Father insisting that you went with him everywhere.

That's because we were in love.

I still miss him.

'Oh, Death, where is thy sting?'

Ah, source, anybody?

Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, bloody... Confucius?

The Bible?

No. Shakespeare.

Well, both, actually. One Corinthians 55, and Henry VIII.

I've got mumps, you know!

What if I never really get over his death?

Don't roll your eyes at me. I take marriage seriously,

I don't just casually announce I'm getting married to a psychopath.

Vasilia is not a psychopath... on the whole. Marriage is paperwork.

It was the defining decision and the glory of my life.

Try looking forward.

You shilly-shally about Hugh, he's alive,

- Father isn't. - Shut up, Larry. Respect the dead.

Stop it! Mrs Haddock is a spiritualist,

she can put us in touch with Daddy.

- Don't be ridiculous. - More to the point, stuck here together,

how long before we start wanting to kill each other and join him?

No, no chickens!

They were petrified. And we can use the eggs.

Ah! Get off!

The rain's pouring into my bedroom.

- Bucket. - They've all been used.

I think it's happening. Do my testicles look bigger?

- Ugh! - No! No, Larry, no!

Don't show me things I don't want to see!

You're always showing me your guns.

"Oh, look at the barrel, it's machine-tooled, you know."

Oh, er... er... the... the chicken's done a... a... You know.

I'll clear it up!

Larry made Leslie see his men's area.

Don't be so repressed. It's a body.

You're happy enough to look at tulip bulbs.

Yes, and I'll feel the same way when you bury your balls in the garden.

- Look, please. - No, I hate being shut up inside!

- I am an outdoor person. - Well, we can't go out.

So organise some activities. And make sure they're fun.

Ah, Gerry... er... will you sit down, please, so you can do my evaluation?

- I can't! - Just sit down and do it!

All right, everyone come up with an entertainment.

- No. - Busy. - I'm dying. - Yes, you will!

Ooh, I've written some love poetry I'd be happy to share.

- No! No! - Get me out in the rain!

Look, I'm sure they're not very good. But they are very sincere.

You said it's too foul to go out.

I can't leave Theo to suffer with Aunt Hermione and Mrs Haddock.

You're going to ask her how she knew about Daddy, aren't you?

Of course not.

Can I explain any of my experiments?

No.

I don't approve of science. It reduces everything.

Or, does it improve lives and shine a light

on the glorious world around us?

- Come in. Come in. - Oh, gosh!

I've never known anything like it.

Thank you, Theo.

So, did everyone sleep well?

One did one's best.

Well, at least it's dry here.

Our house is leaking like a colander.

Urgghhh.