Search Party

Hi, sweetie.

Can I ask you a question?

There used to be this candy bar that had a big hole in it.

It was like long and thin

but thick enough for there to be a stable hole in it.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Shoot.

I have been on the hunt for it for years.

Mm.

- Little extra security

for the girl who can get out of her suitcase.

Are you the...the twink?

From the wedding?

Mm.

Yes, I suppose I am.

But you can call me Chip.

Wow.

I can't believe it.

You're right here with me.

I'm sorry, but it's emotional.

What is?

You did it!

You beat those bastards!

You showed them you're innocent!

You're no idiot. You're no whore.

And now?

Now we can just breathe.

What do you mean?

Dory...

Don't you see?

We're best friends!

We have so much in common!

The first time I saw you on the TV,

I was like...

"Whoa. Okay. What is it about that girl?"

And then I realized...

We have the same lips.

Isn't that spooky?

If it's spooky, say it's spooky!

- It's spooky! - I know, right?

Oh, I know.

I know, it's-- it's a lot.

You're just catching up to this.

It took me a second too.

But all you need to see...

Is that you and me...

we're the victims.

People want to burn us to the ground

because they think we're sick.

But guess what?

We're bigger than that talk!

And you proved it!

I'm so proud of you!

I'm so proud of you.

I'm proud of us!

Mm.

- Is--is my head shaved?

Oh.

Yes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I--I--I needed your hair

to make my Dory doll's hair more authentic.

I was cutting it, and then it was uneven.

I got carried away, and I just messed up.

But you look surprisingly great!

I think we should keep this look for you.

- - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I know.

You have been through so much.

And imagine if they had found you guilty.

You would be in jail right now.

But you told the truth, and the truth set you free.

And now you're here, and you're safe.

With me.

What do you want from me?

Friendship.

Hi, Innocent Dor Dor!

Oh, my gosh! We're so excited for tonight.

Ell and I just got drinkies. Please return my texts.

I don't know why you're not texting me back.

Um, the thing is, we need to know

if you have enough little plastic cups

because we didn't get any, and I don't think

we're gonna pass any little plastic cup stores

on the way, so just let me know.

Yay, Happy You're Not Guilty Party! Love you!

- Honestly, why isn't it easier to find decorations

that celebrate being acquitted?

- Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.

- Do people not do this? Like, is this tacky?

Or do you think it'd be tackier if we didn't do this?

Like, throw a party.

- You know what? I'm sick of caring

what people think about me.

Like, if we want to commemorate

our immunity as privileged and manipulative capitalists,

then we should be able to party however we want to.

- Yes! Absolutely. - Sorry.

I just want to dance!

Are you gonna keep me here?

Forever?

- No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

No.

No, of course, you get to go home.

I just need you to do...

one thing for me first. Okay?

What is that?

I need you...

just read-- to read that

into the camera, okay?

O-okay.

Um...

Whenever, uh, you're ready.

- "So you wanna know the truth?

Well, this is the truth."

Stop!

Stop. I can tell you're faking it.

I need you to feel it.

Okay? Because I know you do.

- And if I do a good job, I get to go home?

Yes.

Okay.

"So you wanna know the truth?

"Well, this is the truth.

"Chip is my best friend.

"Together, we can do just about anything.

"And if you can't handle that

Then get a life."

Anything else?

That's it.

- Could I have a glass of water, please?

Oh, yes, yes.

Hmm.

So I get to go home now?

Yeah.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- I just don't understand why you're upset.

I mean, aren't you happy they found her innocent?

- Yes, I don't want any of my friends

to go to prison for murder. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not that kind of person.

- Me neither. - But I'm just saying,

as an actor,

I know what it's like to have the audience

in the palm of your hand, and I just feel like, you know,

at the end, she basically had that courtroom, like,

giving her a standing ovation. It was like...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Wait a second.

What are you saying? Are you saying you're jealous

of Dory's closing statement? - No!

I am just saying, I think it's selfish of her,

considering I'm the actor of the friend group.

- Okay, so what was she supposed to do?

Let you make her closing statement?

- I'm not saying that, Elliott, but if I were,

I don't think there'd be anything wrong with that.

Portia, Dory's crazy, okay?

She wasn't "acting" up there, she was lying.

- God! Why can't I have a little crazy?

I wanna be crazy!

- Hello? Hello?

What is this?

What is my life now?

Breaded chicken niblets,

air-fried in peanut oil,

with mashed potatoes crowned in white gravy,

just for you.

I saw you order that once

when I used to follow you around all the time,

and you just ate it up.

But anyway, relax, enjoy, rest.