New Mr. Vampire (殭屍翻生)

MR VAMPIRE ll

Presented by LEONARD HO

Produced by SAMMO HUNG

Planning WU MA, COREY YUEN KWAI, YUEN BIAO

Project Manager JESSICA CHAN PUI-WAH

Screenplay by BARRY WONG PING-YIU

Directed by RICKY LAU KOON-WAI

This is not a hiking trip! Get to work!

Professor, how much is this antique worth?

A few pence.

A few pence? Are you serious?

See for yourself.

MADE IN HONG KONG

- Hong Kong? - Professor, there's a cave over there!

- And I found these by the entrance. - Let's go take a look.

Good! Let's go!

You walk the slowest. You go first.

I'm scared...

That's why. I want you to be more gutsy.

Come on, get in there. Hurry.

Go. Go!

Get outta there!

Professor! Help!

Unzip your pants!

Help me, help me quick!

Calm down. Don't be scared.

Splendid, what a tonic!

Good stuff!

Professor, this looks like a tomb. Let's get outta here!

Get outta here? Can't you see what this is?

Gold teeth!

We're rich!

I can take care of this here.

You two spread out. And don't steal anything!

You're stealing again?! Spit it out!

I said spit it out!

How can you even eat this?

It's a tonic!

You'll die!

Professor, look!

Open it!

- Don't you want to be rich? - Sure!

Then what are you waiting for?

Stop staring and give me a hand!

You're good for nothing!

Nice!

What do you mean?

I meant what's on her neck.

Don't touch it! It's more valuable intact.

You mean including the body, Professor?

If we find a buyer, we'll be rich.

Come and give us a hand!

Professor, there's a little kid too!

Mother and son in the same coffin?

Then the other coffin shouldn't be empty.

Where did it go?

Where did it go?

Ah! Maybe he went shopping?

Yeah right, maybe he went to your house!

He hasn't gone shopping!

He's right here!

He's got a weapon.

Looks like they fought.

But over what?

- Over money? - Over girls! Over...

Who cares? Bring all three of them back to the studio after dark.

Come on, let's move him first.

Hey you two. Stop pacing up and down. Dust them off!

She died peacefully.

Not peacefully, beautifully.

Her face is still so elastic after being dead for a century.

Let's see if your heart still beats.

My heart is beating fast all right!

That's right, it's not beating.

Hey! What are you doing?

I need to take off her clothes so I can clean them.

Clean them? They're antique! What if you tear them?

I need to bathe her at the very least.

Bathe her?

Bathe yourself! Stop making trouble!

Always up to no good!

That's right, he tried to molest a dead body!

Why do you care?

You're undressing her, that's why!

None of your bloody business! Why are you so nosy?

Quiet!

Fine, you just watch it!

You think I'm scared?

You're always in my way!

See if you dare to interfere again!

What are you doing?! Let go of my birdie!

She's all yours!

She's the only animal I love, apart from my mum!

Birdie, get up!

Please don't die, birdie.

Don't die. Month-to mouth resuscitation!

He's playing with my bird again, Professor!

You're such a pain in the arse!

- What? - Oh hi, Mr Nelson!

It's Kwok Tun-Wong. I've got some good artefacts for you.

- What sort of artefacts? - Preserved corpses from the Qianlong reign.

- Show me a sample. - Sure, I'll show you the child.

You smoke too much, Professor. Be careful or you may get lung cancer.

You eat so much wildlife. You may get cancer, too.

Who would've thought corpses could be moneymakers, Professor?

How much do you think this one will go for?

Why do you care? You think I might take your share?

No, but you've never shared your profits with us anyway.

I just haven't shared them yet.

So there is some hope for us two?

Probably just wishful thinking.

That's too loud.

Can't I listen to the radio?

Didn't you hear what I said, sonny?

I turned it off and you turned it back on!

Professor, can't you see that my hands are on the steering wheel?

Don't blame me.

Help! Mummy! Help!

Wait! Wait for me!

Why are you running?

Right, why am I running?

- Professor, the corpse is moving! - Then it's even more valuable!

- Let's go back! - Hurry!

Professor, all that's left is the talisman.

Shit! I wonder how the other two in the studio are doing?

Let's get back, now!

"Each time I stare at you,

your eyes are full of tears."

"Corpse-suppressing talisman. The General-in-Chief is here."

Corpse-suppressing talisman?

Sounds like sci-fi. Are you for real?

Looks fine to me.

"This talisman was drawn by the Taoist vanquisher Zhong Kui.

"It connects the Yin and the Yang with the five elements.

"It can suppress all evil spirits. Its power is unsurpassed.

"Thus, it's named the Corpse-suppressing talisman.

"Any undead corpse that is pasted with the talisman will become stiff.

"But its power remains and is ready to be unleashed.

"Descendants must never remove it,

"for the spirit will be awakened and the corpse will be revived."

"The corpse will be revived"?!

That sounds horrible!

Run!

Mummy!

Step forward, step back.

Step forward, step back.

Crouch!

No...

Birdie, you're free!

What about me?

Professor! Those two...

Those two corpses can move!

You must've pulled off their talismans!

That's right. How did you know?

I should have warned you. Now look what's happened!

How are things inside then?

I overpowered the female corpse.

- What about the male? - Did he go shopping?

Shopping my arse! He almost killed me!

What do we do now, Professor?

- Savage, get my tools ready. - But they're all inside...

See what's going on from the peep hole.

Open the door.

Professor, I'll stand watch here.

If anything happens, I'll run away for sure!

Don't worry about me, just go in.

Go get the tools.

What are you doing?

So I can saw him in two and mince him to pieces!

- To do what? Make soup? - I've never tried it.

Get a rope. We must capture him alive.

Professor, did you see the corpse?

No. Give me the rope!

What should I use then?

Haven't you heard the idiom "A successful man uses his hands"?

Hands?

Go get the gun under my pillow.

Gun? When did you get a gun?

I bought it last night. Go!

It's not here!

Why did you kick him? Now he's coming after me!

Here!

Professor, he's still moving!

Chicken, where's that talisman?

I tore it.

Has it lost its power?

Professor, maybe it's too small and not powerful enough.

It's possible.

Professor, he's still hopping. What now?

Tie him up with more ropes.

Then we go and find the small one before dawn.

We'll lose our fortunes if anyone finds out!

Give me a hand.

Wait for me!

Let's play in the garden!

Dad, dad!

What is it?

Dad, I need a bamboo stick for the lantern.

Can't you see your dad is busy?

Get it from the greenhouse yourself.