The Mindy Project

- Hey. Good morning, beautiful.

Hi, baby.

I got you a present.

Oh, my God. Wow.

Danny Castellano, good morning. - Morning.

- Oh, my God! Why did you give me a cockroach?

- No, it's not a cockroach, it's a date.

- Oh, fruit! You know I hate fruit! What's wrong with you?

Okay, stop!

- Oh, God, it's my living nightmare.

- Hey. Okay, look look, that was just my way of saying

I wanna set a date for our wedding.

Oh.

- Yeah, I was doing my weekly dry fruit run...

- Yeah, I was doing my weekly dry fruit run...

And it just came to me.

I'm tired of living in sin.

- Oh, please, we're like God's favorite porno.

Well.

Okay, well why now?

- Well, when I was taking care of my dad,

the only thing that got me through was

thinking about you and Leo.

Oh, sweetheart.

- I love you. - I'm so excited.

- Hey, to celebrate our matrimony,

how about a little mattress-mony?

- No, baby. - What?

- There's no time. - There's not?

- No, we have to find a wedding location.

And it can't be anywhere in Central Park,

because I fit the description of that flasher they never caught.

- Babe, I'd marry you in a gutter.

- Babe, I'd marry you in a gutter.

- Aw. That is the sweetest and worst thing

that anyone has ever said to me.

Now, go get your checkbook,

'cause this bitch gon' be expensive.

- Hey, guys, I'm so glad you could join us tonight.

- Um, Richie, congratulations, I have selected you

to be one of my bridesmaids at our wedding.

Yeah, boy.

- That's a little offensive, don't you think?

If anything, I should be the Maid of Honor.

It's not like you have any female friends, Mindy.

- He's right. - I don't know.

- Come on, Richie, you gotta be a bridesmaid,

'cause Rishi, we'd like you to be a groomsman.

- Oh, no, Mindy, I am not gonna be a groomsman

at some honky's wedding, all right?

- Hey! - Look, I'm the DJ.

- You know what, I apologize. You need to be doing that.

You know how I do.

- Well, Mindy, I took the liberty of...

designing your invitations!

On my computer, of course.

Very Religious.

Cool, okay.

"Annette Luiga Castellano invites you to the union

of her son Daniel Matthew Mark Luke John Castellano"

- Ma, you didn't use all my confirmation names.

- Ma, you didn't use all my confirmation names.

Oh, they wouldn't fit.

- Hey, I love this, in theory, but I actually already finished

designing the invitations to the wedding.

They're silk.

Ma, what are you doing? Ma.

- Okay, you know what, Annette, we can use your invitation,

but, for God's sakes, put my name on it, okay?

Really, Mindy?

- Yeah. It's fine. I mean, everyone knows

that the wedding is just about the dress, anyway.

- Exactly! Which is why I made an appointment for us

at Gretchen's Bridal Pile & Beeper Store.

- Oh wow, Ma, you're so good at this.

Maybe I should be marrying you.

Maybe I should be marrying you.

- I always thought you two would make a great couple.

- Oh... - We'd be a great couple,

you and I. - Meant to be.

- I mean, I'm marrying you, but...

- Eh... - Yeah!

- Goodnight, Ma! - Goodnight!

That was great.

- Hey, your mom is ruining this wedding for me,

and it's not fair, Danny. I'm supposed to be the one

that ruins it for everybody else.

Okay, just relax.

Just be nice and try on a couple dresses.

If you don't find one you like, then go get the one you want.

Oh, really Danny?

I can choose my own dress for my wedding?

That's so nice, but your mom's gonna come

on the honeymoon with us, right?

On the honeymoon with us, right?

So she can tuck you in at night?

I don't know guys, it doesn't feel very me.

First of all, I did not know that the Vatican

even made wedding dresses,

you know, and it was always my dream, growing up,

to wear a beautiful wedding dress that made

all the groomsmen tent their pants.

- Have you ever considered that maybe

the dress is not the problem? - Huh?

- Well, that's the eighth one you didn't like.

I guess we should go. I'm sorry, Mindy.

I just really wanted to help you find a winner.

- I mean, it wasn't unhelpful, Annette,

I definitely know what I don't want at all in a million years.

I definitely know what I don't want at all in a million years.

- It's just that at Danny's first wedding,

Christina and her mom boxed me out.

They threw it at their fancy country club.

- I'm sorry, Annette. That's not cool.

Thank you, Mindy.

So, that dress is definitely...

- I don't know, maybe I was kind of hasty.

I kinda like it. I'll get it.

- Yes! - Ohh!

- Everyone, I present to you, my wedding dress.

Oh, yeah!

- Wow. - Holy God.

- Whoa. - You know, I get paid

- Whoa. - You know, I get paid

like a thousand dollars for this in Japan.

- Wow, that looks amazing... on Tamra.

- Okay, I'm going to be her weight

and her height by my wedding.

You know, I actually entered

your sexual history into an online wedding dress finder.

It said you can just wear a lawn and leaf bag.

- Or totally nude with a nun chanting "Shame, shame."

- Pardon the interruption, Mindy, but would you mind

working for a few minutes?

- Nah, I'll pass. - Mm-hm. Just a sec.

- Hey, no no no wait, she's not done...

- Now, I support your legal right to marry Danny.

- Jody, you know that I'm a woman, right?

- I'm just concerned that your wedding planning

- I'm just concerned that your wedding planning

has begun to encroach upon our business venture.

- What? Jody, I assure you, I am 100% committed to "Later, Baby."

In fact, I started us a Periscope account.

Then, I forgot about it, and 100 people saw me shave my ears.

Well, I'm happy to hear that.

Because I've booked us to speak at my Alma Mater.

What? That's incredible.

- Yes. Southern Legacy University.

John Wilkes Booth School of Political Creationism.

We leave Friday. - Wait, Friday?

Oh, Jody, I can't go.

- Oh, yes, you can. It's an integrated campus.

- Oh, yes, you can. It's an integrated campus.

I mean, it will be, when you're there.

- No... although, that's... alarming.

The truth is, I haven't exactly told Danny

about our business

or that I even want to go back to work at all.

We've just been going through this stuff

- Oh, some stuff. Well, isn't that just dandy?

You know, I never would've gone into business with you

if I had known that you were such

an air-headed flibbity-jibbit.

- A fli... how dare you! Okay, we are not

in business together, sir.

"Later, Baby" is my company, you just made it

a million times better with your great ideas.

A million times better with your great ideas.

Yeah, keep walking, Kimble-Kinney.

- Yeah, well it ended up to be okay.

- Yeah. - Oh, wow.

Babe, did you get me these cool new boat shoes?

- No. Oh, my God... - What?

The only person I know

uncool enough to like those shoes, are you...

Surprise!

Oh, my God!

- Rishi, say surprise to your sister.

- Yeah, I saw her, like, yesterday.

- Hi! - Hello.

What are you guys doing here?

- Well, I've come to help you plan your wedding.

Your prayers have been answered.

- And you guys are... you guys are staying... here?

- And you guys are... you guys are staying... here?

Oh, if we're in your hair,

there is a hotel at the airport.

Don't worry that we already brought up our heavy bags.

We can go.

- No. Mr. Lahiri, my home is your home.

No, no, don't do that.

- Oh, that's wonderful, because we took all the clothes

out of your closet and put them on the fire escape.

- I'm gonna chill here too till my girlfriend's birthday passes,

'cause I'm not trying to get her a gift.

- This is great. This is like a big sleepover,

all eight of us in a one-bedroom apartment.

- Now, Mindy, while we're in town, we'd like to

throw a little engagement party

to meet your friends and Danny's mother.