Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-Head)

G. Wally, Dad said not to, and besides, I don't want him to holler at me.

Oh, beaver.

Yeah, beaver kicks ass.

But if I come, that's not really what stuff was like back then.

Yeah, it's like, if this was real and it was like the 50s, things would be all different and stuff.

Leave it to beavers, starring Mrs. Stevenson, but head and beavers as the beavers.

Hurry up, the bus is almost here.

Hey, Lumpy.

Hey, Squirt, you ready to go to school?

Hey, she, Eddie. I don't know. Are you sure you're going to take me to school?

Well, yeah. I will take you to school.

Uh, beavers, I don't think you're supposed to take rides from strangers.

I'm not so sure, Eddie. I'm supposed to take the bus.

Come on, man. Don't you want to be cool?

Um, hey, I guess, oh, yeah.

We'll get in, then, you little goof.

So, beaver.

Um, hey, the name's Beaver, sir.

Uh-huh. Excuse me, beaver.

Look, listen up.

For today's lesson, you're going to buy me a pack of smokes.

Do you need any? Oh, I got it some milk money.

Well, Squirt, I guess you won't be drinking milk today.

No, don't you think you should go to work, dear?

No.

Okay, Squirt, get in there and get me some smokes.

Um, hey, are you sure I should be doing this, Eddie?

What did you say? I said I was going to be...

You better get in there and get me some smokes before today's lesson turns into

ass kicking 101.

Oh, hey, Airmaster Cleaver. Aren't you supposed to be in school?

Well, I guess so. But all I know is I'm supposed to come in here and buy some cigarettes.

Hey, you wouldn't be buying these for Eddie now, would you?

Gee, how'd you know?

You're the third kid he's brought in this week.

Tell Eddie it's against the law for me to sell cigarettes to a boy or your age.

And then tell him it's cigarettes cause cancer.

Yeah, but if I tell him that, he might get all sore and stuff.

And then he's liable to beat me up.

Well, if he tries that, you tell him that's against the law, too.

I don't see my smokes in your head.

You said it's against a lot of sellum to me. Besides, cigarettes cause cancer.

Oh, is that a fact? Well, I guess you just graduated to my next class.

Human punching bag class.

Can you get the door here? I'm baking cookies.

Uh, okay.

Uh, come in.

Good afternoon, Mr. Cleaver.

Well, what happened? Uh, son?

It seems that little beaver here ran a foul of some asphalt.

A asphalt?

Who's at the door, dear?