Get the Goat (Cabras da Peste)

NETFLIX PRESENTS

Good morning, dear ladies, you deadbeats!

Wake up, lazy-ass people,

because the sun is already blasting over Guaramobim.

Get ready, you sons of guns. The temperature is rising.

The most fantastic event of our town is upon us!

That's right.

It is the long-awaited Rapadura Festival!

Get ready. It will be amazing.

Meanwhile, enjoy this sick forró song. It's not like we play other genres anyway.

Hey!

Stop right there!

Hands up, punk!

BADASS COP

Not you, sir.

Come on, man!

Respect the police, boy! You know you can't play here.

Do you want to go to jail?

Police Officer Bruceuílis Nonato. Where did he go?

-That way. -This is evidence now.

Officer Bruceuílis Nonato. Toninho, do you copy?

Officer Bruceuílis Nonato. Toninho, do you copy? Toni--

POLICE STATION

Wake up, man!

What are you--

Out of the way, ma'am!

-Let's go! -I--

You have the right to remain silent, punk!

Anything you say will be used against you.

-I ain't no criminal, man! -Why did you run away?

You looked at me. I looked at you. You ran, and I got scared!

What were you doing in that house?

I will kill him!

It's not what it seems!

Jesus Christ. Let's go!

You stole a fan? What the hell?

-I'll kill this bastard! -He's just my cousin, babe!

Calm down, guys. Everything is under control. It's cool.

Watch it.

Stay, my ass.

I won't share a cell with this piece of crap.

Your wife thinks I'm pretty fine, okay?

You might as well leave me here

because I'm considering committing a homicide.

Using your horns?

Wait! Wait a minute!

I assure you everything will be resolved as soon as possible.

You have my word.

Bruceuílis Nonato, you idiot!

-Oh crap! -Chief Vitória Regina.

Breaking and entering,

disorderly conduct,

destruction of public property,

meddling in other people's lives…

I've had it up to here with you! What am I gonna do with you, Bruce?

I caught the guy that stole the fan.

I just took this old fan

because it's very hot at his house.

There's no window!

-Put it on high speed, please. -High?

-Now look, if you-- -Quiet!

I want you both in my office now!

Next week we'll have the 30th Guaramobim Rapadura Festival.

The world's most famous rapadura festival.

-Is there another one? -I'm aware, chief.

The security detail is set up.

-You won't be part of it, Bruce. -What?

-I'm responsible for the event's security. -No. Toninho will take care of it.

Toninho?

He isn't qualified for the job.

I have to agree with Bruce.

Toninho may be stupid,

weak, he may be lazy,

ugly, he may have those flappy ears,

but at least he does what I say.

I must agree with the chief.

You're gonna punish me because I saw suspicious activity

and acted accordingly?

Suspicious activity…

Suspicious activity, my ass!

Give me a break.

Ever seen anything suspicious, Toninho?

I saw a UFO once, but it was just a São João fire lantern.

See? Nothing happens around here, Bruce.

In this town, if a guy slaps someone, they name a square after him.

Yeah, unfortunately.

But I do have another mission for you.

Now we're talking!

Your mission is to take care of Celestina until the festival.

Are you crazy or high?

I've never seen a cop babysit a goat.

Bruce, Celestina is a city treasure.

She was even elected city counselor last year.

Bruce, you know folks here love this goat, right?

So she is your responsibility now.

I want to see her all primped and preened,

smelling good, clean, and well-fed.

You can start with a bath. Here.

People will say I'm a goat caregiver now.

That's what I get for trying to be a real cop.

Gather round, everybody. I won't say it twice.

OPERATION THUNDERBOLT

The target of today's operation is a man known as Ping Li.

Our sources say Ping Li has been negotiating

a drug transaction for months

with our biggest target, the drug dealer known as…

WHO IS HE?

…White Glove.

We must catch Ping Li if we want to get to White Glove.

But beware.

These men are considered unstable and highly dangerous.

Alpha team will guard this area.

Beta team will guard the west area exit.

If it was up to me, you know I'd go in guns blazing,

but, for legal reasons, we still cannot do that,

so we must catch them red-handed.

That's why two of our men

will infiltrate as drug dealers working for White Glove.

So on the firing line,

we'll have Caíque

and Trindade.

What now, Trindade?

DESK-DUTY COP

I think I should stay at the police station.

I can continue organizing the operations board.

It's good, isn't it?

I went to Kalunga, the stationery supplies are on sale!

I can also rearrange the board, change the fonts--

Dismissed.

-Let's do this. -Let's go.

Are you trying to give up now that we're all set?

I'm just not that comfortable with the plan.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with the plan…

I just don't like the part where I need to be part of it.

Unfortunately, we need you, Trindade.

Are you sure?

Because, you know, I'm like the office guy.

Did you look in the mirror today?

Shall we do it again?

-What do you see? -The brain of the operation?

A weak and tired man.

The opposite of every cop in this police station.

Caíque.

Roger.

OFFICER CAÍQUE REAL COP

Come here.

Captain?

Check out Caíque's physique.

Do you think Caíque could pass for a drug dealer?

Negative, Captain.

My body type doesn't match that of criminals.

I'm too strong for that, okay?

Exactly.

That's why you're going to feel Caíque's biceps.

-What? -Biceps, Caíque!

Check his Pão de Açúcar.

Touch it.

Those are a cop's biceps.

-Now, feel his six-pack. -No, it's not necess--

When a criminal looks at a guy like him, what does he think?

-Police? -Police!

-And when he looks at you? -The brain of the--

Scumbag!

A loser, a lost cause.

-Living with his grandma. -I moved out two months ago.

And that's why we need you to go with Caíque.

To balance things out.

I need you, Trindade.

You'll be my shield.

What do you mean, "shield"?

-Operation Thunderbolt! -Thunderbolt!

Thunderbolt.

Get in position. You're good to go.

I'm not comfortable with this disguise.

-What's wrong with it? -It says "human target" on my chest.

It's my brother's rock band. It's alternative, protest rock, you know?

Just bass and a horn blowing.

Yeah, but why this name?

You know what, Trindade?

You don't support the Brazilian indie scene.

You're into mainstream, arena rock bands that suck on the government tits.

-That's it. -That's not it!

Then what?

There is a target on my chest!

My nephew drew that, man. The kid is disabled.

He draws with his foot. God, show some respect.

Now, get into the character.

Just like me. Pay attention. I'm a cop.

And bam. Now I'm a thug.

Come on.

Where is Ping Li, dude?

-Can we get straight to business? -Sure.

-God, let's hurry up already. -Don't blow your disguise.

No! I'm not in a hurry or anything.

I learned to be patient doing my time

when I got arrested for dealing drugs.

-Hard drugs. -Tone it down.

Actually, it was just contraband cigarettes,

non-alcoholic beer--

-It's too light now. -Crack!