The Wicker Tree

It's 8:00 a.m. and a glorious 74 degrees…

here in downtown Dallas.

Let's kick things off with the our own hometown sweetheart Beth Boothby.

I'm so glad you're going with me.

I couldn't let you loose among all them heathens, honey…

not on your lonesome.

Hi, Beth. Autograph?

We are gathered here today…

to say Godspeed to Beth and Steve…

two of our young redeemers…

who are going to give two years of their young lives to God…

and to bringing His message…

to the lost people of Scotland.

Seemingly, there are people there…

that have forgotten the Lord.

Many, I hear, don't even believe in angels.

Don't even believe…

in angels, folks.

Beth, I want you to know…

that we are all real proud of you.

But you are going out there…

to do some service to God.

And, Steve…

you take real good care of this lovely little lady, do you hear?

Yes, sir.

May God bless you both…

and bring you back safe…

successful and pure to us here.

And we will give you the wedding of the year.

And that's a promise. Amen.

I'm up to my oysters…

in shite!

Beth. Beth.

- You look gorgeous. - Give them some space.

Over here, Beth. Over here.

Just one more, Beth.

Thank you, darling.

Delia, welcome indeed.

As you can see, your young guests are already here.

This is Beth Boothby.

She and her friend are looking forward…

to preaching door to door.

God bless them.

Beth, this is Sir Lachlan Morrison…

Pleasure.

…the patron for our concert here today.

We're just so grateful to you, sir…

and lady?

Oh, call us Lachlan and Delia.

We don't stand on ceremony here.

And who is this?

I guess you could call Steve my fiancé.

Nice to meet you, sir, ma'am.

See our silver rings?

- Oh, the same rings? - How charming.

To show that you're engaged?

As a sign of our chastity, ma'am.

Beautiful. Thank you.

Well, I guess it don't appeal too much to some young folks here…

but thanks to your invite, me and Beth…

we've come over here to try and change that.

- Right, baby? - Yeah.

Beth, I think they're ready for you.

Excuse me.

Beth, Beth.

Great.

- Thank you. Bye. - Come on, out. Out.

They're both perfect.

I was afraid we'd have to look further afield this year.

What a little star, especially if she can sing.

And rather beautiful, too.

In a corn-fed, apple-cheeks sort of way.

A perfect mate for a cowboy, then.

Absolutely.

I bet she smells of the dairy…

a musky bush, milky tits…

and just a hint of warm cow shit behind the ears.

So you approve of her, then?

Oh, and that poor Steve…

wearing that ridiculous silver ring…

and waiting till his wedding day.

It really is another world over there in America, isn't it?

Oh, look, they're fixing up the mic for her.

None of these pop people can really sing.

I need to have a word with that cowboy.

Why not?

You must be very proud.

Oh, I sure am.

For me, that voice of hers is always just awesome.

Papa says she sounds like an angel.

Oh, of course. That's what she reminds me of…

an angel.

Do you believe in angels?

Doesn't everyone?

Hats in church… it's one of our local to-dos.

It makes you look even more…

well, now, what would the Americans say?

…cute without it.

Steve.

I do not believe how that Lachlan talks.

And did you get that he's a real sir, like a knight?

Oh, I mean, they're just so kind…

and enthusiastic, but, like, totally polite.

It's awesome…

and in that amazing accent of theirs.

You're just used to kids, honey.

Those dudes are old.

But, boy, did they love you.

Whoo!

And how about you, cowboy?

That new singing gal is me.

Do you still love me?

I loved you when you had braces on your teeth, Beth.

And, boy, I love you now.

Silver ring, Steve.

Silver ring, honey.

Sometimes I just don't think…

I'm ever… ever gonna get used to…

Abstaining?

Well, that is the new Beth Boothby.

Let's listen to the old Beth Boothby…

in "Trailer Trash Love."

Oh, no, no.

Oh, I just hate her.

But it's you, baby.

Not anymore, she ain't.

Oh, where are you going, Steve?

To my room, honey.

Listen, I promise…

that when we're wed…

you're gonna know you married a real little old Jezebel.

Delia.

Yeah, that concert was wonderful.

Oh, you and Lachlan are so kind.

No.

Steve's gotten us a whole bunch of maps, but thank you.

Sure, we've got your numbers.

We'll call if anything comes up.

Yeah, we'll let you know how it goes.

I really appreciate it, Delia.

'Night.

It would make such a difference if you could just read through these.

- No, no, no, thank you. - If we could just leave them with you.

- No, no, thank you. No, thank you. - Please just take…

And if you just take a look here at…

No, no, no.

If you just let Jesus into your heart, sir.

Those city folk just hated our guts…

- as soon as they saw us. - Yeah, but…

A country soul is as good as a city soul…

any day in my book. A soul is a soul, Beth.

And I think we've got a real good chance to save some…

- thanks to our friends here. - Steve's right, Beth.

What is the point of having doors slammed in your faces…

by these city people?

Now, our country neighbors…

may seem like a bunch of heathens to you…

but they will hear you out.

And that I'll promise you.

Okay.

Okay, I know we're doing the right thing.

And don't for a minute think…

that I'm not real grateful to y'all for the invite.

It's just maybe we gave up on them city folk too soon.

Forget it. I'm just being dumb.

Ain't this a Rolls-Royce?

No, Steve, sir.

This is a Hotchkiss.

On a Rolls, sir, that figure would be…