Trailer Park Boys: Drunk, High and Unemployed: Live In Austin

Man: Oh, hey, Bubs.

Oh, hey, boys, what's going on?

Man: Well, we heard you were going to be in a ninja movie.

Well, it's not official yet,

but Verne Troyer, you know, Verne Troyer, Mini-Me?

He's making a movie called "Micro Ninja".

There was a contest on the Internet.

You could submit a video

explaining why you think you should be in the movie.

I fucking sent one in.

Hi, there.

My name's Bubbles.

From the Sunnyvale trailer park, Nova Scotia, Canada.

I grew up here, my whole life,

between my friends Ricky and Julian.

I live in that shed right there

and I'm applying to be in your ninja movie.

I've seen... every ninja movie in history

and I'm pretty fucking good with these.

I know you know what those are.

I can...

Pretty good with those.

And I mean I can do all the other moves.

You know, back flips and kicks,

and scissor kicks, all the kicks.

I can do them all.

Put me in that movie,

I'd appreciate it.

Apparently the producers were very fucking impressed

because I got a call-back.

They wanted to see, you know,

how I could do at acting.

So I shot a fucking unbelievable demo.

J-Roc's adding music to it right now.

I'm going to head back to the park and meet him

and get my bags packed, because I'm going to hand-deliver

the fucking thing to Austin, Texas,

where they're shooting the movie.

That's how I show Verne Troyer

that I am not fucking around here!

You gotta get on the turkey-bacon tip, dawg.

It's better for your arteries and all that.

You know'm sayin'? Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

That shit's can get hard up in your arteries

if you eatin' that real shit. I just...

I just stick to what I know.

Wit' yo' applewood smokeness. Yo, B, you in them?

Bubbles: Come in!

Wassup? Wassup, hah?

Just packing for the trip. You got 'er?

Got it, man. It's all good.

Holy fuck, look at that! All labelled up!

That is fucking awesome, boys. What did you think?

Of what? I... Of this.

I mean, I thought it was pretty fucking awesome myself

and I can only imagine now that it's even more awesome!

Man, I ain't even had a chance to check it out.

I was making bacon with my candy.

You didn't see it? No.

You never had his candy bacon?

Oh, I've had your bacon, it's fucking... tight,

but... what did you think of it? The demo, I mean, like...

Two reasons I didn't really get to see it, dawg.

One is, I was eating my bacon, that he made,

and the second is, I had my head down, I was like Lobster-Boy,

you know'm saying, like bring... So you didn't even watch it?

...the music up, sneaky vocals underneath.

My ears thought it looked tight.

Okay, well that's good because, if your ears thought it looked good,

when your lookers actually see it, they might...

Exactly, it sounds good. I think that's a good indication.

That's all I need to know. Your eyes'll think it sounds good, sayin'?

Awesome! Good luck, dawg.

Thanks, boys.

Pay your invoice within 30 days, though, sayin'?

Did you, uh... make that bacon?

Yeah, I got more back at the crib.

Maybe I'll come by before I go and get a bacon sandwich.

Sounds good. White or whole wheat?

Doesn't matter. Better hurry,

because the bacon won't be there long, hah!

All right.

"I'll be back".

You know what they call

a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

They don't call it a Quarter Pounder?

No, man, they got the metric system.

They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

What do they call it, then?

A Royale with Cheese.

"Royale with Cheese".

What do they call a Big Mac?

A Big Mac's a Big Mac but they call it "Le Big Mac".

"Le Big Mac".

What about the Whopper?

I don't know. I didn't go into Burger King.

You talking to me?

You talking to me?

Talking to me?

Well who the hell else would you be...

You talking to me?

Well, I'm the only one here.

The fuck do you think you're talking to?

Oh, yeah? Hm?

Okay.

Huh?

"It ain't got no gas in it".

Holy fuck!

Unbelievable!

Unbelievable. Did you see that?

I can't believe that I did that.

Like that, to me, looked just like the fucking real movies.

Going to hand-deliver it, Julian promised he'd get me there

down to Austin.

He's set up kind of a live show

that's going to cover all the cost

of getting us there and me and Ricky and Julian are going

if I can get Ricky to come.

He's been acting pretty weird lately.

He says he's got an idea that's going to change the world!

I don't have time to go away with Bubbles and Julian, right now!

I'm going to be retired in less than a year.

But in order to do that, I got to get more drunker

and more higher than I've been in a long fucking time,

take everything that's in here and put it into a fucking book.

It won't be a book 'cause one of the hard floppy things on the outside,

but it'll be more like a bookel like you get at church or at the fucking circus.

Anyway, that's why I'm collecting cans and bottles,

getting money to get drunk and high.

Julian thinks it's dumb but it's easy fucking money.

But it is taking forever,

so I guess we're going to have to take it up a notch, aren't we?

Well, that's how you fucking do that.

Julian wouldn't help me, so I said, "Fuck it!"

Get my brain going: "Where am I going to find the most cans for little work?"

So I went to down the recycling depot and robbed the fucking place.

It's awesome!

There's got to be 40, 50 bucks. Holy fuck, Ricky!

You hit the jackpot! I know!

Where'd you get them?

Err... down by the mall.

Must've been a lot of people partying this weekend.

Fuck, those are some beauts! I know.

Yeah. Now I've got enough money to fucking get drunk

and high as fuck, 4 or 5 days, finish off my little project

and get retired. I know, Ricky,

but couldn't that wait a couple of days?

Can't you come to Austin?

Julian said it's all set and we are going to get paid.

Please? I don't know, Bubs.

With you guys gone I'll have nothing to distract me

and I'll get this fucking thing finished.

I need to get retired quick, man. I know,

but it's not the same.

I don't want to just go down there with Julian.

I don't really want to go down with Julian and Randy!

Like fuck! Are they dating now?

Holy shit, man! That didn't take you long. Yeah, no kidding.

What did you do? Fucking rob the recycling depot or something?

Yeah. That's exactly what I did, actually.

You just told me you got them down by the mall!

Well, I meant the recycling depot by the mall.

And you robbed the place? Well...

borrowed some stuff, yeah.

Well, have fun cashing them in, bud.

I'll take them to the other one across town,

they won't know. Yeah? Do you want a hand?

Huh! Oh, you want to help me now it's cashing in time?

No, I'm good.

Fuck you, then.

Boys, stop fighting.

Listen, demo is done.

Nice. She's done.

Will you guys come and watch it?

I'm really fucking excited about it.

Yeah, I got a couple of minutes. Let's do it.

Okay, I'll get it... Is it good?

I'll get it... is it good? Yeah.

Did you just say that? I'm just asking you, man.

Bubbles: Ha-ha! You fucking wait, baby!

How was your little date with Randy?

Look, you know what?

If you're saying that to bother me,

it's not fucking working, all right?

Ricky's driving me fucking nuts with this Randy shit.

And I don't get it. I mean, I'm ripping Randy off every day.

You know, I'm working out with him for 10 minutes,

get paid 50 bucks. Woop-di-shit!

It doesn't mean I'm fucking going out with him or anything.

It's stupid!

What's you and your boyfriend doing tonight?

Going out for dinner or anything?

Won't you shut the fuck up. I'm working tonight.

Come on, Bubs! I got shit to do. Let's go!

Just wait here.

I've got it. I just want it to be perfect.

Just cueing her up.

Okay, are you ready? Let's do it.

Just wait now before I roll it.

It turned out a lot better than I thought it would, boys.