Disaster L.A.: The Last Zombie Apocalypse Begins Here

So the next story, the president of the United States...

...left the press conference today and relocated to an undisclosed location.

Everybody was a little scared...

...because the president doesn't just get up and leave a press conference.

You know, everyone was terrified in that conference room.

We don't know what made the president leave...

...but we deserve some answers, I think, from the government.

Hey, what's up, man? - What's up?

[POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS AND PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Oh, it's like a V6.

Oh, my God. John. John.

- John. - Dr. Scott.

- Buddy. Hello, my friend. - Hey, man. What's up?

- Hold up. Nuts. - Nut. Nuts.

- How does it feel to be done with school? -It's awesome.

The school was kicking my ass, though. That shit was wack.

Moving on to bigger and better things now.

Speaking of which, who do we have here?

This is Samantha. Samantha, this is John.

Samantha, um, lives down the street from you.

I know Samantha.

- Trust me, not only is Scott now a doctor... - Hold on.

- Veterinarian. -...but he's also one of the best guys I know.

I have to warn you that he will find a way to screw up this conversation.

Don't listen to him, okay?

Because this guy is not full-- He's full of it because really, I'm dirty. Heh.

No, I mean-- I don't mean that in a sexual way.

Unless you like that. You like that?

I mean, I could be.

See what I mean?

Hey, John. Get your ass over here. It's time for some shots.

Our presence has been requested in the kitchen.

Screw up this conversation later.

Don't leave, okay? Please don't leave. Take a nut.

Everybody, all right, grab a glass. Grab a glass. Hey, shut up.

Grab a glass. You too, Astrid.

Okay, I'm not one for speeches...

...so I'm gonna keep this short, okay?

For the past year, I've come to know all of you like a family, okay?

And I love each of you very much, especially you, man.

Oh, I know. I know.

When we drove out here, I never would have thought...

...I'd be the only one left still unemployed.

Big surprise. So having said that...

...I'll strike a little deal with you guys, okay?

The first person--

The first person who gets me a job, I will let have sex with my blow-up doll.

- Yeah! Okay.

- Okay, that's-- Put her away. Put her away. - Just a joke, John.

I'm just trying to have fun with the people. Okay, raise them high and toast to friends--

Correction. Family.

Family, good tunes...

...good brew and the best firsts...

...anybody can ever hope to have in a new city. Cheers.

Yeah! - Get them up there.

Seconds? Who wants seconds? I'll keep these going all night.

Going all night? - John.

What's the deal, man?

Didn't you guys break up, like, two weeks ago?

- Dude, I can go kick his ass if you want. - No, I'm fine, you guys.

This is a celebration, right?

- And we're celebrating. - Copy that, brother.

So there.

- Do it, man. - I'll be right back.

- Hey, hey, yeah. - No fucking serious.

Tori.

Hi.

John, hi. How are you?

Good. Good. Things are, uh, really good.

- How about yourself? - Good. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd just been really busy with school and other stuff. Heh.

Yeah.Uh””

So who is your friend here?

Oh, God. I'm sorry. This is Jacob.

Jacob, nice to meet you. I'm John.

Tori told me a lot about you.

I just want you to know that, uh, she's in good hands.

Really? That's good to hear. Very comforting.

- Look, I hope that this isn't awkward-- - No.

No, no, no, this-- It's fine, right? We're all adults.

Let's skip it. Ah.

So, Jacob, can I get you anything to drink?

Glad you asked.

Kind of feeling a Long Island Iced Tea. I'm not gonna lie.

- Heh. - Heh. All right, that's a...

I'll go get that for you.

- Long Island Iced Tea. -It's like he never heard of it before.

What a rookie.

So, what's the verdict?

You know, what I thought, typical frat boy.

He looks like a cowgirl with that shirt. I could take his head, dunk him in our toilet.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

I know it's hard, but it's a big city and there are plenty of good girls out there.

- You just need one. Just one. - Yeah, he's right.

What do you know, Adam? How many girls have you been with since we got here, huh?

- Shut up. No, you shut up. - No, you shut up.

Can we be a little mature here, please? Please?

- Mature? Really? - Huh? Yeah.

Well, we just now have breaking news coming in.

- We go now to the top story of the hour. - Come over here. Check this out.

Amateur photographers are capturing--

- What's going on? Everyone, shut up.

Yeah, I got this.

You might be one of many viewers trying to figure out...

...what those mysterious bright lights are.

Truth is you're not the only one. NASA, along with the Russian space program...

...alerted the media that it is believed to be a group of meteors from deep outer space.

They say they are still investigating the matter...

...but need more time to make a valid assessment.

Some astronomers managed to come to their own conclusion...

...after remote surface temperature readings...

...indicated the meteors are mostly comprised of ice...

...resembling glaciers rather than rocks.

Space programs wrapped up the press conference...

...by saying that these meteors pose absolutely no threat to us...

...and are expected to safely pass by Earth tomorrow morning.

Dude, I see it.

Wait. What?

What? Seriously?

- Where is this? - There it is.

There.

Come on, out here. Yeah.

My gosh, imagine if that thing actually hit us.

Whoa, that's scary.

How big did they say it was?

- This calls for shots. Oh, no.

- No, no, no. - Hey, dude.

Hey, you said it yourself, we just missed out on the apocalypse.

If it didn't deserve a toast, I don't know what the hell does.

Everybody, get in here.

John, get your head in the game, bro. Grab a glass. Toast to tomorrow.

Because with each night you live...

...you never know what tomorrow's gonna bring. Right?

I'll drink to that.

- Cheers. Cheers.

Hello?

Adam. Adam.

- What happened? - I don't know. I don't freaking know.

Where is everybody?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Look, just go in the house and turn off the gas, all right?

I'm going to Davey's to make sure they're okay.

All right.

David?

- David. He's out front.

- What's going on? - I don't know. Just stay inside.

- David. - We're out here.

- You guys okay? - Yeah, we're all right.

Amy? Amy, stay inside till we know what's going on, all right?

- Dude, what's going on? Hey.

- What do you guys see up there? Lots of smoke.

Looks like Downtown, possibly North Hollywood.

How bad is it?

Looks pretty freaking bad.

- What is going on? - I don't know. My sister goes to UCLA...

-...said a bunch of things just hit the campus. - What?

She doesn't know, but they're everywhere. Amy.

- Amy, stay inside. - Have you seen my brother?

- Amy! - Have you seen my brother?

Not since last night. Don't know where he is.

- I'll check in with you later. - All right. Good luck. Be careful.

Amy, stay inside.

- What does it say? - Shut up, shut up. Turn it up, Adam.

-the Los Angeles area...

...ranging from Downtown all the way to Santa Monica.

Police and fire departments are working together.

Thousands, if not tens of thousands of citizens...

...have been injured or killed in this horrifying incident.

- Oh, my God. We can't confirm...

...but sources are indicating the explosions may or may not...

...be related to last night's meteor sighting--

- Where's my brother? - I thought he was with you.

- Where's my brother? Where is Turner? - I don't know.

He was gonna stay at a friend's house, Ricky.

- Mickey. Mickey. - Damn it.

- What--? Wait, where are you going? - We strongly recommend to our viewers...

...that you stay indoors until we figure out what's going on.

Yeah, hello? - Turner, thank God, okay.

- All you all right? Yeah. Oh, my God.

- Are you seeing what's happening outside? - Stay where you are. I'm coming to get you.

Why? We're perfectly fine. -Look, just wait at Mickey's.

- I'm on my way, all right? John, I don't--

- Did you hear me? What?

No, just wait at Mickey-- I'm coming to get you, all right? Just-- Hello?

Turner! Shit!

Turner? Hello? Turner!

-were in fact meteor related...

...and now we are being told that more might be on the way.

Official satellite photographs indicate that yet another meteor...

...roughly the size of a school bus...

...may hit the city within the following hour.

We recommend to our viewers that you seek shelter immediately.

The government is instructing people to follow--

Hey. Wait. Wait, Mickey.

What? - Where's my brother?

Everybody's at the top of the parking structure trying to get a better look.