Intelligence

Yeah, really well, I think.

We're kind of in that stage in our relationship

where I finally stopped getting the runs

every time we speak, so...

And have you, you know, stormed her castle?

Oh, well, you know, a gentleman never tells.

Wait. She's a guy?

Boardroom. Now.

OK. I'll cut to the chase.

As of 20 minutes ago,

Mary's cover as a triple agent has been blown.

- Oh, no. - How many times?

Do we know if the Russians

managed to rebuild Eternal Blue?

Yes, but with the false information

provided by Mary, it started destroying itself.

- Surely that's a good thing. - Not quite.

Now they're demanding we give up the original creator

of the weapon, or they'll kill Mary's mum.

- But that's me. - Exactly.

- That's Mum. - Shh. Hold on.

Are you saying that you're prepared

to sell me out just to keep some random old lady alive?

She still does Hot Zumba every Wednesday.

Oh, does she?

Please don't take it personally.

I'd do the same for anyone.

But, Chrissie, do you really want to toss me off like this?

It's not up to you, and it's not up to me.

This comes directly from the top,

and sometimes sacrifices have to be made.

When it comes to a choice between risking a civilian life

versus an agent's life, we have to...

Consider the age of the civilian.

Surely you can't just throw me under a bus like this.

No one is suggesting we throw you under a bus,

more that there might be a bus heading your way.

Well, fine.

Then what's stopping me from, you know, jumping on that bus

and... I don't know... eloping with Tuva?

- Me. - Fine.

Then I'll elope alone.

Does that still count as elope?

- No. - You know what?

This is bullshit. Do I not even get a choice?

Of course you get a choice.

One the one hand, you can capitulate,

or you can run away from all this,

putting a civilian life in imminent danger

while simultaneously ending your career

and giving me no better reason now to go public

with the NSA scandal for good measure.

By the way, let's keep this on the lowdown.

The fewer people that know about all this, the better.

- Know about what? - Nothing.

Oh, my God, are you guys organizing

a surprise birthday party for me?

No, of course not.

Oh, God.

Way to go, Mary.

Oh, Jerry, I just wanted to check you're OK.

Yeah.

Oh, dear.

Want me to get the blinds?

You don't know?

I mean, I could go get you something to eat.

- Is there anything... - I don't know.

We can get married again if you like.

- No! - No. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I just wanted to see how...

You must be feeling awful.

I just keep thinking about everything they're doing

to that poor, old woman.

God, I wish she was dead,

you know, and then I may be next.

Yeah. Well, yeah.

I'm just trying to focus on the positives.

Well, you have to, really, don't you?

Just wonder what they are.

I don't know, maybe, you know, pick up a bit of Russian?

Yeah. Yeah.

- Everything OK? - Yeah.

- Oh, good. - Oh, I don't know.

Part of me just thinks none of this

would've, you know, even happened

if I'd have done what you asked in the first place

and just got the location data off of Charlotte.

- You know what I mean? - No, buddy.

You can't blame yourself for any of that...

Thanks, man.

Although now that you've said it out loud,

I totally agree.

I'm sure you'll be fine. I mean, listen.

If anyone's gonna get through all this, it's you.

Yeah. Cool.

At least you'll go down in history a hero.

- Yay. - Yeah.

See, between us, I'm just really not keen

on the whole being-tortured thing.

I'm assuming that you got quite a high pain threshold...

Oh, no. I do.

Because you were shot, weren't you?

No.

Yeah. You were. You showed me.

It was one of the first things that you showed, like...

Oh, Yeah. No. Right. Sorry. That. Yeah. No.

Sometimes I forget how shot I was.

Well, there you go.

I can't imagine it's much worse than that.

Listen, Jerry.

Would it help if we just did a little bit of practice?

Like torture practice?

Yeah, I mean, just so you're prepared,

even if we start with something really basic.

Yeah, if we start out with something, like, super small.

Completely.

Morning.

What the fuck?

Jerry, don't worry about it.

Just think of it as a dress rehearsal.

It's gonna be OK, so, Quentin, just out of interest,

if you were to get an electric shock from one of these,

how much would it hurt?

Um, it would depend on how wet your body was.

OK. That's good.

Have you ever had an electric shock from one of these?

Yes, but I'm always wet. Right.

OK. That'll be all. Thanks, Quentin.

- You want me to... - Yes, please.

OK. Don't worry.

I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, OK? It's just...

OK, so I think the key thing here

is that we have a safe word so that you know when to stop.

What about "coconut"?

No. I think it has to be a word

that I don't usually use.

"Please?"

What are you... What are you doing?

Just wait for me.

- Should we do my thumbs? - Yeah, or your nipples.

We'll do my thumbs, OK? No wait for me.

I'm waiting, Jerry.

OK.

Go for it. You know what?

- You want me to do your nipples. - No.

I think we should build up to this by maybe...

How do you feel about slapping me around a bit?

- With the battery? - No. What? No. I mean...

You know, even better, I think we should start with you.

- No. - Yeah.

- No. - Yeah.

- No. - Yes!

Because I need to see how much it hurts first.

Well, I'm guessing somewhere

between, like, a bee sting or a shark attack.

If you... OK. You know what?

I think we're just gonna have to find another way.

- I'm so sorr... - Wait! Aah!

Why did you... What was that sound?

- I don't know. - That was super scary.

Oh, my God, no. Oh, did I get you?

- No. - OK.

- What are you doing? Stop. - Well, you have to say...

No! Coconut, motherfucker!

Coconut! Coconut!

Shall I come back later?

Yeah. OK.

Yeah. We got to find a better plan.

Oh, God, yeah.

Maybe we should talk to Mary about it.

Damn straight. This is her fucking fault.

Wanted to see me?

Mary, yes. Hi. Come. Please sit down.

Oh, are you OK? Oh.

Gosh.

I'll have that chair removed.

Don't think I've ever been in here on my own.

No. There's a reason for that.

- What do you mean? - Doesn't matter.

I love your tops.

Oh, thank you.

So I just wanted to check in with you.

Oh, my God, this must be so hard.

Being in here?

No. I mean, having to choose between your mom and me.

Oh, God, I mean, if it were me, I would just be feeling

so guilty and personally responsible right now.

I'm just trying not to think about it.

Yeah. No. That's probably for the best.

I mean, the things they're doing to your mom right now are just...

unimaginable.

Gosh.

Oh. Don't look. Christine's watching us.

No. Don't wave. Pretend to be upset.

OK, so...

No. She's back.

Oh, Mary, no. It... Yeah. She's gone.

Anyway, all this got me thinking.

As useful as it is to GCHQ for me to trade places with her,

I mean, wouldn't it be easier on you