Cobra Kai

That's hot.

Morning, Greg.

No!

It isn't.

You know why?

Because some freeloader was blaring shitty Metallica all night.

Yeah, that was actually Exodus's Bonded by Blood,

but it's not your fault you don't know the genre.

You do know your sister doesn't want you crashing here, right?

She only took pity on you because you are an unemployed man baby on probation.

I'm actually off probation now.

I'm showered and groomed.

I have somewhere important to be today.

Oh, well, that's good.

Congratulations.

Good for you.

That means you can take your perfect circle of a body

and roll your sloppy ass out of our neighborhood.

Step it back a smidge.

You drive a Miata.

Think you're the King of Egypt?

I don't know about cars, but I know that's not top of the line.

This is coming from a man who has a squirrel obstacle course in his backyard.

Do you have any friends, Raymond?

I believe it was Emerson who said that "A friend is the hope of the heart."

Yeah.

Well, it was Hughes who said,

"Get your goddamn Frisbees off my roof or I'm calling the police."

Hughes because it's your last name?

Clever.

Listen, those are Aerobies, Greg.

They're not Frisbees.

Different disc.

I-I don't have time to talk about that 'cause my dojo needs me.

So...

Got to go.

Sorry.

That's right.

I forgot, Raymond.

You like to hang with a bunch of kids and play kung fu all day.

It is pathetic.

It's not kung fu.

It's Cobra Kai.

And it's not Raymond anymore.

My name is S...

Stingray.

Yeah, I know.

And as much as you try to clean your life up, you still stink, Ray.

Stink Ray!

That is so much more appropriate!

Stink Ray!

Tread carefully, Greg.

You mess with a Cobra, you get the fangs.

Time for class.

Listen, John.

I just want you to know I haven't forgotten what you did for me.

I wouldn't be here if not for you.

And I'll do anything to prove my loyalty.

Anything.

Let's go to work, Sensei.

Guys, the limo is coming at six.

So don't be late or else we're leaving.

'Cause my date and I, we on a mission.

Oh my God.

I bet she doesn't even exist.

Hey.

Hey.

You're, uh...

You're gonna go?

To prom?

Yeah, right.

Let the rich kids have their stupid party.

Can you picture me in a ballroom dress?

All right, class.

Fall in.

Today's lesson is about balance.

Not the way Miyagi-Do teaches it.

You're going to learn how to get inside the heads

of your opponents and throw them off balance.

Pair up.

Ais!

You know, you should go.

Crashing you know who's big night would be a way to get your opponents off balance.

Not as much as if you showed up.

I'm not a student.

They won't let me in.

Maybe they would.

If you went with me.

Did you just ask me to prom?

Strictly a tactical move.

Well, it's such short notice.

We'd have to get a ride.

Still need a tux.

I think it's a great idea.

And if you're going, you're going in style.

Wassup!

Remember that from the old Bud commercials?

I guess you guys were too young for...

Probably weren't even born.

Eddie, what's going on, Man?

Hey, good to see you.

Dieter, how's your mom doing?

Wish she'd call.

You could've had a really cool stepdad.

Sensei!

Sir, I am reporting for duty and I require no thanks.

Thanks for what?

Oh, uh, you know, just defending the dojo and I-I served my time, Sensei Sir.

Look, we're trying to train for a tournament.

Let's carry on, Everyone.

The All Valley tourney.

I'm well aware.

Say, listen, I got a couple of good ideas.

Just basic strategy.

Don't be ridiculous.

You were never part of this team.

You're a buffoon.

A joker, an embarrassment.

You have no value here.

Wow, what?

But, Sensei, I'm, um, one of the guys, you know.

You will never be Cobra Kai.

You get that?

Oh, wait, wait, w-wait, I got you.

Th-This is, um...

This is a test, right?

Yeah, this is a test.

Get the hell out of here.

Challenge accepted.

Why are you cutting the mozzarella?

You're gonna dry it out.

You're losing the juice!

I'm making bruschetta.

Let the juice out so the bread don't get soggy.

Let me get in there.

I'll bite your fat fingers off!

But you disrespect...

Louie's sister's more Louie than Louie.

I get nervous having family over while we're dealing with the Anthony crisis.

I know.

Bullying is the last thing I ever thought we'd be dealing with.

Yeah, well, two more weeks in his room with no screen time and he'll get the message.

If he doesn't, maybe we take him to a professional.

Whatever happens, can we keep your mom out of this?

I'm finally on stable ground with her.

Okay.

These are dinner napkins.

I'm gonna swap 'em out for something a little more appropriate.

Whatever you like, Lucille.

My house is your house.

Hey, come on in.

Make yourselves at home.

Amanda.

Welcome.

Oh, hi.

Rosa.

Hi.

It's good to see you.

Oh, you look very dashing.

Okay, here she comes.

Wow, you, uh, look so amazing.

So do you.

I guess, um...

Can't believe we finally get a night to ourselves.

Yeah.

No karate, no rivalries.

Just, uh, you and me.

Picture time.

Let's go.

Diazes, get together.

You look so handsome.

He looks more and more like his father.

Mama.

So, uh, how you been, Man?

H-How's your weekend going?

I'm fine.

You know, I don't hang out with those biker guys anymore.

So...

Uh, Johnny.

Come on.

Okay.

Beautiful.

Let's get the LaRussos together.

Anthony!

Uh, no, he doesn't need to come down.

Oh.

Thought I was supposed to stay in my room?

Who told you to stay in your room?

He's grounded?

What happened?

Ma, we'll talk about it later, okay?

Okay.

All right.

Everybody now.

One big happy family.

Let's go.

Find your spot.

Even Louie can get in the picture.

Okay.

Alrighty.