A Minecraft Movie

The Overworld,

the biggest sandbox in the universe,

is full of epic tales.

Millions and billions of them.

Well, guess what?

This one is all mine.

My name is Steve.

And as a child, I yearned for the mines.

But it didn't really work out.

Go on! Get out of here!

- Mommy! - So, I did a terrible thing.

Go on! Shoo!

- I grew up. - Run!

Yep, that's me.

Same shirt, same pants.

The only thing missing, was my soul.

What was I doing with my life?

I wasn't meant to sell doorknobs.

And then one day, I remembered something!

That's right!

The mines!

So I geared up to dig deeper

and find out what I'd been missing.

And this time, I was unstoppable.

Head fake! Oh, yeah.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- My moment had finally come. - Yeah.

I could just taste the adventure!

So, I mined my brains out.

Until I found two mysterious artifacts.

This thingy...

- And that cool thingy. - Ohhh...

And when I put those two thingies together...

...you guessed it.

It opened a portal to another world.

The Overworld!

This place blew my mind.

I'd never seen anything like it.

Whoa!

Turns out it was the place I'd been looking for my whole life.

A world where anything you can imagine,

you can create!

This is my first house.

Bam!

- My second house. - Pshh!

And my third house, made entirely of sheep's wool.

Pink house!

Life was good.

Except at night, which happens about every 20 minutes.

It was times like these I wished I had a friend.

And then I heard it. The howl of companionship.

Actually, it was a wolf that wanted to eat me.

So I tamed him with a crusty femur bone.

- Maybe a bone, huh? - Yeah.

Hoo-hoo!

Attaboy...

...Dennis.

He like a scratchy-scratch on the nariz.

Dennis, yeah.

Dennis and I were inseparable.

.We did everything together.

.We built endless masterpieces.

The more I built, the better I got.

Dennis, check it out!

Ohh! Yeah!

Lucky for me, pandas love to party.

And cows.

Life was perfect.

And the years simply flew by.

Until one day, I came across

some strange ruins.

And a conveniently placed chest.

Ha-hah!

Flint and steel.

Whoa!

Dennis!

No, Dennis.

Turns out we'd just opened a portal

to a totally new dimension.

The Nether.

There was no joy or creativity at all.

Just a mindless lust for gold.

Dennis!

These piglin brutes had mined this realm into oblivion,

led by Malgosha,

the evil piglin sorceress who ruled the place.

Who are you, and why are you so round?

Leave the dog! Take me instead.

No, thanks. I'll take both of you.

And that Orb.

Let's get one thing straight.

Where I come from, we call this a cube.

Seize them!

Malgosha had finally got what she'd always wanted,

the Orb of Dominance.

The most powerful cube-shaped orb

in the entire universe.

Listen up, you pigs!

With this Orb, I will pillage the Overworld,

and all its gold will be ours!

I couldn't let this happen.

The Overworld had saved me,

and now I had to try to save it.

We have to stop her, Dennis.

So we escaped!

And stole back the Orb!

The Roundling got away!

Find him and bring me that Orb!

Hurry, Dennis. Take this to Earth.

Follow my scent to 149 Holly Oak Drive.

You got that, boy?

Good boy.

You're the last hope for this world.

Now, run! Go, boy!

Run, fluff nugget!

You got this, Dennis, I love you!

Run!

Get off of me!

Dennis was a hero that day.

He ran like the wind.

I didn't know if I'd ever see him again,

but we had a world to save.

So he ran all the way back to my house on Earth

and hid the most powerful object in existence

under my waterbed.

As long as the Orb stays hidden,

the Overworld will be safe.

Wait a second. Putting it under my waterbed's a horrible plan.

Yeah.

In the late 1980s,

Garrett Garrison took the gaming world by storm...

...becoming the undisputed champion of the hit arcade game,

Hunk City Rampage.

Yeah!

His mastery of this two player co-op

shocked the world.

His effective use of the garbage toss move

earned him the nickname, "The Garbage Man."

Pretty soon, he became

the envy of the gaming world

after landing a lucrative deal

with Sizzler.

Yeah!

Whoo!

Yeah, baby!

Garbage Man!

Yeah, baby!

One thing's for sure...

Yeah!

...this kid had it all.

- Yeah! - Time to take out the trash.

Yeah!

Mmm... Boo-rah!

Garrett "The Garbage Man" Garrison?

No autographs.

Have a nice day.

Whoo! Yeah! Super cool!

Garrett "The Garbage Man."

To what do we owe this pleasure?

Pleasure?

Think I come to storage auctions for fun?

I'm a businessman, Daryl.

An investor.

Well, I'm about to shovel some coal into your choo-choo train.

You're gonna love this next unit.

It's got a waterbed.

It's got some pickaxes.

It's got a huge can of mixed nuts.

It's got an array of unisex turquoise blouses.

That sounds terrible.

I think it's also got a 1978 Atari Cosmos.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1978 Atari Cosmos?

That's what it says here.

Those things are worth a frickin' fortune.

Heck yeah they are.

Bro, if you make this happen for me,

I will strongly consider hanging out with you.

- You serious, bro? - Yep.

Two big buffaloes like us out there, in the wild,

wearing unisex turquoise blouses.

Oh, boy, that's gonna cause a commotion.

The ladies aren't gonna know what--

Listen, if you could keep the hammer price under a hundy,

I'll make all your weird fanboy dreams come true.

Okay?

Two loose cannons, wearing turquoise blouses.

Yeah. Let's do it.

And we got 500 dollars, 500 dollars over here.

We got 500 dollars. We got six, do we have six?

Do we have 600 dollars? We got 600 dollars over here.

I'll go over here, 700 dollars, we got 700 dollars.

We got 700 dollars here. We got 800 dollars over here.

We got 850. Do we hear 850?

Do we-- 850 over here.

Do we hear any more? Do we hear 900? 900?

Nine hundred, going once, 900 going twice.

And 900 going three times.

And sold to hometown hero,

Garrett "The Garbage Man" Garrison, for 900 dollars.

I wouldn't cash that for about six months.