Magnolia

In The New York Herald, November 26, year 1911...

...there is an account of the hanging of three men.

They died for the murder of Sir Edmund William Godfrey...

...husband, father, pharmacist, and all-around gentleman resident...

...of Greenberry Hill, London.

He was murdered by three vagrants whose motive was simple robbery.

They were identified as Joseph Green...

...Stanley Berry...

...and Daniel Hill.

Green, Berry, Hill.

And I would like to think this was only a matter of chance.

As reported in the Reno Gazette, June of 1983...

...there is the story of a fire...

...the water that it took to contain the fire...

...and a scuba diver named Delmer Darion.

Employee of the Nugget Hotel and Casino, Reno, Nevada...

...engaged as a blackjack dealer, well-liked and well-regarded...

...as a physical, recreational, and sporting sort...

...Delmer's true passion was for the lake.

As reported by the coroner, Delmer died of a heart attack...

...somewhere between the lake and the tree...

...but most curious side note is the suicide the next day of Craig Hansen...

...volunteer firefighter, estranged father of four...

...and a poor tendency to drink. Mr. Hansen was the pilot of the plane...

...that quite accidentally lifted Delmer Darion out of the water.

Added to this, Mr. Hansen's tortured life...

...met before with Delmer Darion just two nights previous.

All I need is a two.

All you need is a deuce. All right.

That is an eight.

Glad you like my work. All right. Moment of truth...

The weight of the guilt and the measure of coincidence so large...

...Craig Hansen took his life.

And I am trying to think this was all only a matter of chance.

The tale told at a 1961 awards dinner...

...for the American Association of Forensic Science...

...by Dr. John Harper, president of the association...

...began with a simple suicide attempt.

...curiosity.

Seventeen-year-old Sydney Barringer...

...in the city of Los Angeles on March 23rd, 1958.

The coroner ruled that the unsuccessful suicide...

...had suddenly become a successful homicide.

To explain, the suicide was confirmed by a note...

...in the right hip pocket of Sydney Barringer.

At the same time young Sydney stood on the ledge of this nine-story building...

...an argument swelled three stories below.

The neighbors heard, as they usually did, the arguing of the tenants...

...and it was not uncommon for them to threaten each other with a shotgun...

...or one of the many handguns in the house.

I'm gonna put you down!

And when the shotgun accidentally went off...

You asshole!

Sydney just happened to pass.

What?

Shut the fuck up!

Added to this, the two tenants turned out to be...

...Faye and Arthur Barringer...

...Sydney's mother and Sydney's father.

When confronted with the charge...

...which took some figuring out for the officers on the scene of the crime...

...Faye Barringer swore she did not know the gun was loaded.

I didn't know.

She always threatens me with the gun, but I don't keep it loaded.

And you didn't load the gun?

Why would I load the gun?

A boy who lived in the building...

...sometimes a visitor and friend to Sydney Barringer...

...said that he had seen, six days prior, the loading of the shotgun.

Ricky, come here a minute.

It seems that all the arguing and fighting...

...and all of the violence was far too much for Sydney Barringer...

...and knowing his mother and father's tendency to fight...

...he decided to do something.

He said that he wanted them to kill each other...

...and that's all that they wanted to do, kill each other...

...and that he would help them do that if that's what they wanted.

Sydney Barringer jumps from the ninth-floor rooftop.

His parents argue three stories below.

Her accidental shotgun blast hits Sydney in the stomach...

...as he passes the arguing sixth-floor window.

He is killed instantly, but continues to fall...

...only to find, five stories below, a safety net installed three days prior...

...for window washers that would've broken his fall...

...and saved his life if not for the hole in his stomach.

So Faye Barringer was charged with the murder of her son...

...and Sydney Barringer noted as an accomplice in his own death.

And it is in the humble opinion of this narrator...

...that this is not just something that happened.

This cannot be one of those things.

This, please, cannot be that.

And for what I would like to say, I can't.

This was not just a matter of chance. Ha, ha.

These strange things happen all the time.

In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for.

It's not what you deserve. It's what you take.

I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin...

...and author of Seduce and Destroy...

...now available to you on audio and video cassette.

Seduce and Destroy will teach you the techniques...

...to have any hard-body blonde...

...just dripping to wet your dock.

Bottom line? Language:

the magical key to unlocking the female analytical mindset.

Tap directly into her hopes, her wants...

...her fears, her desires, and her sweet little panties.

Learn how to make that lady "friend" your sex-starved servant.

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...trance-like state that will get you...

Hey.

...naughty sauce you want fast.

Hey, how many more times...

...do you need to hear the all-too-famous line...

So?

..."I just don't feel that way about you"?

DICK For over 30 years, America has hung out...

...and answered questions with Jimmy Gator.

An American legend and a true television icon...

...Jimmy celebrates his 12,000th hour of broadcast this week.

Have I been around that long?

DICK He's a family man who's been married for over 40 years...

...with two children and one bouncing baby grandchild on the way.

We've tuned in each day to see the human interaction...

...between Jimmy and some very special kids...

...and we hope there's 30 more years of watching that happen.

I'm Jimmy Gator.

Donald W. Winnicott. 1911. North America. South America.

The answer is four. The answer is 22. Gravity.

The answer is The Life of Samuel Johnson.

I don't care what your last bank statement is.

Let's go. You should have done that 10 minutes ago.

We need more dog food. Talk in the car.

- Look, I got a serious audition today. - Are you lonely?

- That one too? - I need this one.

Well, let me tell you.

I don't understand why you need four bags of books to go to school.

There's no reason for this many backpacks.

- Be ready at 2:00. - It should be 1:30.

I told you I got an audition. I won't be here till 2:00.

Get your stuff. Come on. Gotta go. Love you.

Love you too. - Okay.

Donnie, do you have an answer?

I do, Jimmy. Prometheus.

It is!

Donnie, how does it feel?

It's pretty exciting. Bet you don't get many people my age getting braces.

You were so cute on that game show.

Bet you can't answer any questions now, though, huh? Ha, ha!

- So we're all set to go, Donnie. - Good.

- I'll see you tomorrow morning. - Okay.

Bye. - You're running around like crazy.

I'm gonna be late for work.

Hey.

It's the Quiz Kid, Donnie Smith.

Hello, hello.

- How's today, then? - Fucking bullshit is what this is.

EARL Fucking regrets.

And we do these things, move through this life.

I'm gonna need your help, Phil. You got to help me on something today.

I'll take care. Anything, Earl.

Well, you're his doctor, and that's why.

Tell me something. Tell me something.

He needs more pills. He needs more... Fuck it.

He needs more pills, and I need some answers...

...so I'm coming to see you.

Morning, Linda.

I love you, my darling.

I'll be back in a while, Phil. I have to do some things...

...and I have to see something, and I'll be back.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

WOMAN Press one to hear...

...this person's personal description of themselves...

...and two to leave a personal message of your own.

JIM Well, hello. This is Jim. I work in law enforcement.

I'm an officer for the LAPD...

...and work out of the North Hollywood district.

I love my job, and I love to go to the movies.

I try to stay physically fit. My job demands it.

I'm getting up there, though.

I'm 32 years old, and I'm 6'2" tall, and I weigh about 180...

...if that's important to you.

I'm really interested in meeting someone special who likes quiet things.

My life is very stressful, and I hope to have a relationship that is very calm...

...and undemanding and loving...

...so if you are this person, please leave me a message at box number 82.

Thank you.

So much violence...

...but that's the way of the world. Good luck, as always.

Serve and protect and all that other blah, blah, blah on the side of the car.

Let me tell you something.

This is not an easy job.

I get a call on the radio from Dispatch.

It's bad news.

And it stinks.

But this is my job, and I love it...

...because I wanna do well.

In this life and in this world, I wanna do well...

...and I wanna help people.

And I might get 20 bad calls a day...