The Upshaws

Yeah, found a shirt that smell good.

Well...

...good enough.

Ow!

If you want me to pop this ear pimple, stop squirming.

Bennie, hold the light so I can get two fingers on it.

Oh, hell no. I don't even dig in my own ear.

Dad, last night when I said I needed pads,

I didn't mean brake pads.

Oh, well, you asked me too late.

I can't hear after about 9:30.

- Ow! - Ooh, I'm sorry.

My nail got stuck on something.

You might need to see a doctor about that.

Lucretia, you didn't make no coffee? What have you been doing around here?

Everything.

These aren't even my damn kids!

I'm not even related to that one.

Ear-cleaning ain't bonding?

That's some bullshit.

Mornings were so much better when Regina was here.

Well, we don't live in that world and haven't for the past month.

I'm sick of this. When is Mom coming home?

Look, your mom's going through something.

Yeah, we all going through something.

What he said.

We go through this every morning.

Look, we can't rush her. It's not like she's gone gone.

She's just not ready to come back full time yet.

So we still have to rally and make life easy for her,

which means you, Bennie Upshaw, are gonna have to actually lift a finger.

Oh, okay. Well, I got your finger.

Oh, you better not. It's Maya's hair-wash night.

Okay, no, we cool. I'm all right.

- Would it help if I made coffee? - Boy, you my new favorite.

Aaliyah, what you got?

Cramps and brake pads.

I can't find a single shoe that matches another shoe.

Is it okay if I just wear socks to school?

Nah. We do that again, we gonna get a visit.

Dad, if I'm not getting any food here, can I please get 20 more on my lunch card?

- Yeah, me too. - Okay.

If one more kid asks for one more thing,

we gon' be on The First 48.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Bennie.

Can we have one morning where your mother doesn't walk into chaos?

Yeah, we need to make it a place where she wanna come back.

Let's cut the shit!

Uh... is this a bad time to say you're out of coffee filters?

Use the paper towels.

- You're out of those too. - Oh my God.

Lucretia, you ain't go to Costcos?!

Don't even look over here. And you don't want me going to Costco.

Costco sells coffins.

Oh, okay. Well, that's... You gon' buy a place...

- I don't know! - ...where you gonna bury me at.

I don't have no money, man.

Hey! Hey!

Morning, family.

Hey, baby. How you doing? Mm!

You doing good?

You look good.

I am good.

I had a relaxing morning.

Mwah! I even had time to get...

...a latte.

How nice.

- You guys ready for school? - Oh, it's school time.

I was just about to start loving on my sweet children.

All right.

It is a happy home.

Oh, um, I probably don't say this enough to the two of you.

Thanks a lot for holding it down.

- We got you. - Always.

Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

I don't know what it is.

I'm at my sister's place, and all I want to do is go home,

but as soon as I'm there, everything feels wrong.

Well, yeah.

You had a damn heart attack in your kitchen.

I'd call that a trigger.

Yeah, but that ain't it though.

Well, here's a fun game.

What do you think it is?

Uh-uh.

You're the therapist.

You're not about to cash my sister's check and have me do everything.

Like when you gave me homework.

I gave you a book to read.

It was your book.

And I had to pay for it.

It's funny how that works.

Hard out here for a therapist.

Medicare be coming for a bitch.

Look, will you focus?

Me?!

Yes, you. You're the one who came in here with something to discuss.

Now, why don't you wanna go home?

I wish I knew.

I...

I'm just lost right now.

Look, you've done a lot of great work here.

And trust me, I don't say that to everyone.

I deal with a lot of, you know, cra...

And how does that make you feel?

Don't do that.

Now, if you're serious about wanting to go home,

you might benefit from bringing in another perspective.

Oh. Uh-uh. I see you.

You can't fix me,

so you just gon' pass me on to somebody else?

I wish.

What I mean is,

it might be good for me to meet with your husband,

get his take on what led you here.

Yelp.

Now you're trying to push my buttons.

And you trying to milk the clock.

Ain't no way in hell Bennie Upshaw is coming to therapy.

Well, it would be good for me to get some fresh eyes on this.

Maybe there's something we missed.

At least ask him.

You ask him.

- He's your husband. - It's your idea.

It's your recovery.

That's our hour.

I win.

All right, fine. I'll ask him.

But I already know what he's gonna say.

You know damn well I ain't going to no therapy.

That's for people with problems.

I got problems.

I'm taking off from work. I'm living with my sister.

Come on. I really need you to do this.

You told me your mess had nothing to do with me.

I knew you was lying.

Of course she was lying. You're the root of everybody's mess.

If you'd figured that out sooner, I could've saved a ton of money.

Stop fueling him. This has nothing to do with Bennie.

Oh, but that reminds me,

I forwarded you the latest therapy invoice,

and, my bad, I went over ten minutes on Tuesday,

but she... she charged us for a whole hour!

"Us"?

I think we good where we at.

Dr. Edmunds,

she's just trying to get a different perspective.

Yeah, "perspective" is another word for me.

And you up in my garage trying to get me to go.

It's a whole lot of me up in this shit.

Okay, fine.

Don't go. Don't help.

I will figure out what's going on without you.

It just might take me longer.

Longer?

Bennie, get your ass to therapy so I get my damn place back.

Oh, but take as long as you need 'cause you are a joy to have around.

Sisters.

Bennie, you wouldn't be talking about our marriage.

You'd just be giving your take on what happened.

You mean like a victim statement?

Let's just get to where we all know this is going.

Leave him, and get your own damn place.

Though it will be a sad day when you leave.

See, I knew it.

See how y'all ganging up on me right now?

That's exactly what you and that therapist gon' do.

Now that, I'll pay for.

No, Bennie.

I won't even be there.

I won't know anything that happens.

You know that woman gon' tell you everything I said.

Women talk.

No! No, sh... she can't.

All right, maybe I'm not explaining this right.

So you go in, and you have a private conversation,

and nothing gets back to me. Nothing!

Listen, as far as I'm concerned...

...it's like you're not even there.

As far as she's concerned, I'm in therapy right now.

I don't know, man.

Sounds like your wife is trusting you.

Yeah, I know you still new, but we don't take sides against family.

Oh, you're right. My bad.

I'm just happy to be here.

Hey, are you gonna eat all those nachos?

Yes, I am.

What about the cheese dripping on the side?

Hey, hey, hey, man. My cheese is my cheese, okay?

I deserve this. I haven't had a minute since Regina walked out,

and I'mma just go ahead and say it,

I got too many kids.

From all we can see up here, we might as well all be at therapy.

Huh!

Ooh, what happened?

What happened? We score?

Game hasn't started yet.

- They just brought out the T-shirt cannon. - Oh, yo, up here!

- Yo, up here! - Right here.

What am I doing?