Mad Love (L'Amour braque)

CRAZY LOVE

Pressed the pedal, eh?

- Yes. - You've got guts!

- The dough's still safe, right? - Yes!

Have no fear, the firefighters are here!

Don't get any funny ideas!

See? Band of fools...

Oh, shit!

How d'you pull these things off again?

The bags are in car 15, compartment 21!

For the first time in history, the train from Hungary is on time!

If I ran on wheels, I'd always be on time!

Hey cornflake! Do you breathe at night?

In Budapest, we thought everything would be better here. Even sleep.

That's why you're dressed in your Sunday PJs?

These are all I have. I'm poor.

But my mother was French.

You speak only French?

Slang with his mouth, Yugoslav with his hands,

Japanese with his feet, Arabic with the ladies,

and French with his...

Fuck! Drop it!

Drop what?

Something disgusting, something you'd step in, dirtying your shoe, right?

- Of course, shoe! - Bravo!

My father died a year ago, my mother three months later because she loved him.

To leave Hungary, we need invitations from abroad.

The daughter of my mother's sister's is a movie star...

I only go to the movies for the music,

and to fall in love with the prettiest girl in the world.

- I've never been in love, just sick. - Same thing!

I was locked up in a mental hospital, for protesting, after my father's arrest.

- As simple as that? - Five years times two!

- Mine too. Seven years times one. - My name is Leon.

My dad too! He was a king!

- Mine was just a prince. - Old school!

Poet, Jew, writer!

Me? Not. My name's Mickey.

Delighted.

My bros: Francois, a fool. Antoine...

Don't push it!

- Ferdinand Le Baron. - Sylvian.

- Don't you see this guy is nuts? - So?

Want to see a photo?

What do you think?

She's cold. You should warm her.

I was there, gawking like the rest. She looked at me, but didn't see me.

- But, tonight... - Tonight?

She'll be mine!

-What's going on? -What do you think?

Passports, tickets, cha cha cha!

Duvigny.

Defarge.

Theron.

Fuselli. Sales Agent.

Ten foggy days in Budapest.

I started my shift in Nancy, Inspector.

We're just chatting with our friend from Buda.

We're in first class, car 15.

Hungarian...

Can I see your luggage?

Enthusiastically, sir! To be enthusiastic is to be inhabited by God!

Brilliant.

Hey...

If you're affraid of cops you'll never make it with a woman!

Brothers with different names... and I'm not a friend from Buda.

Move over!

Great, eh?

Ain't Paris richer than your Buda-shit?

- Nobody to pick you up? - I didn't want to be a bother.

The ambulance won't be here for a few hours.

Here, buy what you like!

Cigarettes, candy...

But there was no fog in Budapest!

Again, which mental hospital were you in?

Will you remember my bros' names?

I'm so sorry... it's my head... hurts...

Beauty, fitness, sickness, women!

That's my cousin's name!

All sluts, except one!

Dig it?

Shoe!

Here you have to buy! To buy, you have to pay!

Like it?

Here, they guard everything the same way.

Women, movies, money, paintings.

They're so twitchy, and rightly so!

Here, we take by force!

- A Surprise! - Come on, Prince!

Here, eat shit!

Choke on it!

See that asshole?

You... think I look smart? My hair, nails... feet!

André?

Not wearing my earrings?

Difficult, considering... Is that you... ?

It's me. Earrings? Tip of the iceberg...

- Why tonight? - Why tonight...

A boyfriend who's half shit doesn't cut it!

Why me?

Because tonight...

I'm loaded!

And you, do know how to weigh or measure love?

No.

What are you looking at?

Your top... it's unbuttoned.

I mean, you're beautiful.

It's the job.

Courtesans yes, maids no!

-Got a taste for it? -Haven't we eaten?

-Was it you? -No, it's me.

Then strip.

Stealing my furniture, eh?

It's only André.

On the table!

Time's up, old-timer!

These chairs, bit shoddy aren't they?

Just like all knock-offs! Anybody moves and it goes deeper.

You piece of shit, I'll crush you like an egg!

You're getting ahead of yourself, Joseph Venin!

Your Picassos and Bacons, those guys who paint your ceilings...

Donut economicst! The cake for you, the hole for everyone else!

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening!

The Middle East! Flat-packed atomic bombs! Nerve gas!

Making mince meat out of kids in trenches,

in that war between Iran and the other one...

Our export figures look great in the National Assembly reports!

- Me, I'm a zero! - No, the other one.

Sorry.

- So what now? - Violence!

You'll pay!

Right, I'm doing this by the numbers!

The price of a queen, like in Shakespeare,

who I'm sure you've read, now you're no longer ruling the roost!

A queen... never cedes.

You have to take, buy, deserve her.

Come on, all together!

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

How are thy leaves so verdant!

Were you talking about me?

My love...

But I'm worthless!

My Queen!

The cops are outside! The place is surrounded!

And you! Under what name do you hide at the Ministry?

Delacroix, Delacunt, Delacock!

A Jewish name like Ben Asshole?

Stop your bullshit!

Lay off. He's honest.

Like honest? Be honest, then! Keep it simple and straight!

You love her, how much?

You don't get it. She's very expensive.

Sorry...

Thank you...

It's not right to steal.

I'll give you everything.

My name, my memories, my life...

My handkerchief.

Throw me away, whenever you want, if you have to.

Idiot.

Don't get hooked, that's my woman. You want to love her too?

- Yes, that's my handkerchief. - And me?

Oh yes!

And you?

Maybe...

Lovers...

Friends...

A meeting of ends!

I'm taking her, she's too good for you!

- Looks serious. - You're right!

Letting your dad rot in jail! Changing your name, that's noble!

Who are you in your new family, shithead?

Shit, help me, Matalon!

How long have I been saying, boss, she's nuts?

Start digging your grave, asshole!

Yours will just need a lid on top!

Music! Roll end credits!

- I love you. - My God!

Can't stomach this? You should have gone to a posh deli in Neuilly!

- Does he love her or what? - He hates her!

Who the hell asked you?

And who's you, anyway?

- Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you. - Idiot!

You'll regret that very much.

So, Léon! What do you think of Paris Nights?

Just wait for the main course! Don't you miss the pigs?

- You won't snout, will you? - No.

I don't judge anyone. Who judges the judges here?

Men who have women and friends, they're protectors from justice.

Can you keep on picking my dishes?

That's class, eh? Not even lost her appetite!

The best for you, my gem...

My black gem...

I'm not a black gem.

I live like my mom did.

In expensive clothes,

in luxury, in flesh,

without pleasure.

It'd be good to find one who loves me, a husband,

just like in real life.