Resident Alien

Previously on "Resident Alien"

I think this alien's here to kill everybody.

There's my device.

- That's in the glacier. - You can't go there.

Harry, don't go! It's too dangerous.

These humans believe they're nothing without one another.

I want you to be comfortable enough with me

to tell me that I'm wrong.

I want a partner who challenges me.

You earn respect through your actions, Deputy.

Well, how about this for an action?

I quit!

I wanted to go to the Olympics,

and then this happened.

It was my second mogul run.

It was before the jump, and I couldn't stop.

I landed, and I heard a bunch of bones crack.

They said I could've lost my leg.

Once I eradicate humanity,

I'll return to my planet a hero.

I'm so close to completing my mission.

Something initiated this.

The ship is tethered. Holy shit.

I know where the alien is!

Harry?

Don't move.

Aah!

D'arcy.

Harry?

- Thank God. - We're all okay.

Okay?

We fell into a crevasse. This is a death trap.

Sorry I said anything.

I can't move it.

I'm too weak.

Harry, your leg.

Whoa, whoa!

No sudden movements.

I'm not going anywhere.

My leg is trapped.

We need help.

This whole sheet of ice could cave in at any second.

What were you doing up here?

I told you not to go up on the glacier.

It is your fault.

The ice caved in because you are too heavy.

Okay, we're leaving him.

I guess glaciers aren't a part of a cell plan, guys.

He was gonna die anyway. Just leave him.

- Leave him behind. - Stop it.

We're gonna figure this out.

We gotta be 30 feet down.

I can make it up to my snowmobile.

I've gotta get my radio.

You can give me a boost on the ledge.

Yeah.

There's a little piece of the ledge

you can put your left foot on.

Okay.

Careful.

There's a pocket there.

She's gonna make it, Harry.

Yes.

Nice one, D'arce.

That's it. That's it, D'arce.

Little to your left.

Left.

This is going to be a problem.

Keep going.

Keep going. You got this.

- Yes. - Okay.

My hero.

I'm in!

Aah!

Look out!

No! Aah!

Whoops.

We lost the signal.

Whatever the ship was tethered to is gone.

Okay then.

Time for you two to get to Colorado

to find me whatever was flying that machine.

D'arcy?

D'arcy? D'arcy?

Harry?

Harry?

What is that?

Don't come any closer.

Are you okay?

What the hell are you?

Don't be afraid.

- D'arcy! - I'm not going to hurt you.

Who are you?

Harry.

No, no, no, no. Half your face is all wrong.

Offensive.

What is happening to you?

Bee sting.

We're inside a glacier.

Snow bees.

I'm allergic to the sting of snow bees

and ice hornets.

It's bad.

If you don't tell me what is happening,

I'm going to lose my shit.

Okay.

I am not from this planet.

What?

I am what your people call

an extraterrestrial.

An alien.

I feel nauseous.

You may have a concussion from the fall.

No, I think it's the extra-alien thing

happening in front of me.

D'arcy!

You cannot tell her. She cannot know.

She's gonna figure it out

when she sees the scales on your face.

My people do not have scales.

That's racist.

You are thinking of the Reptilians.

Who?

The Reptilians.

Insidious creatures trying to take over the universe

by using the Earth as a laboratory

for hybridization.

D'arcy!

Don't worry. It will never happen.

They're gross.

They have major hygiene issues.

Okay.

Well, if it's not scales, then

why are you growing weird skin?

We have the ability to mimic other species'

anatomical forms, but I am too weak.

I'm changing back.

Nope.

- Please... - No!

What is that glowing stuff?

You're bleeding, aren't you?

Yes.

Aw.

This is not exactly how I thought

I'd spend my day.

You know,

you being an alien

sort of explains a lot.

Why are you here?

My ship crashed.

I've been searching for something I lost

up on this mountain.

- What do you mean? - Like, a radio to phone home?

How did you guess?

Well, all we know of aliens

is from movies,

so it's either a radio to phone home,

or you're here to kill us...

And eat us.

We do not eat humans.

- Okay. - Ha, ha, ha.

Now can you fix me, please?

Fix you? I don't even know how you work.

Like you, I have a closed circulatory system.

So I will bleed out if you don't stop it.

Okay. Um...

Okay.

Let me take a look.

Um...

That part of you is still a human.

I just touched your penis.

I do not mind it.

- It feels good... - Stop talking.

I think you nicked an alien artery.

Do you even have arteries?

You need to cauterize the wound.

Use that.

This?

Okay.

Yes.

Are you sure about this?

Unlike your delicate species,

my race has an incredibly high pain threshold.

Okay.

Aah!

Asta!

Asta!

D'arcy!

Thank God you're okay.

Are you okay?

We're fine!

Everything's... fine.

I'm gonna try to make it to the top!

Don't move!

D'arcy's gonna call for help,

and by now my dad will know that I'm missing.

Soon the whole mountain will be swarming with people

looking for us.

Kill the creature! Catch the beast!

Kill him! Kill the creature!