Sensitive Skin

Davina? Davina Davis?

Oh, I can't believe you're here. I thought you'd be in Hollywood

- or something. - I'm just saying it's natural.

We start dying as soon as we're born. If you think about it,

it's amazing our hearts beat as long as they do.

If happy enough is good enough for you, then relax,

but I suggest you find out what you want

and get it

as quickly as possible.

Ok. The test results are in.

Are you ready for this?

Yes.

- You're sure? - Yes.

This particular test

is extremely accurate.

We've run it twice. Do you understand?

Yes.

Your test was...

- negative. Tada! - Oh, God! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ok. Why do you always do this?

- I live for the drama of the moment. - Jesus!

Well, cheer up, you don't have throat cancer.

You got a sore throat, probably the smog.

Mine's sore too actually.

But you told me I should do the test, so...

Now, you know definitively and you won't worry, which is something you do.

I do. I worry. It's true.

And can you tell me again why this test wasn't covered?

They feel that it's not necessary, because

of the astronomical odds against you actually having it.

But you know something?

People get struck by lightning every day.

Which is why I'm a hypochondriac.

Because statistics have no meaning, right?

And if I can alleviate needless worry,

- then I've done my job. - Thank you.

- Thank you very much. - Do you always do that?

What? Do?

Blink asymmetrically.

Hmm... uh...

I'm sure it's nothing, but, you know what,

let's have a quick look at that eye,

make sure it's tumor-free.

S01E03 The Three Sisters

- (Davina): Al? - Coming.

The tumor grows behind the eyes,

swells, the eye deforms,

and that can cause asymmetrical blinking.

- He's such a crock of shit. - Or it isn't

and it's eye cancer.

Dr. Cass says I should go easy on it for a while.

- Go easy on what? - The eye

- until after the MRI. - Oh, God!

When they do the MRI, have them check for a brain as well.

Oh, that's great. That's really sensitive.

You've been seeing this guy for 13 years,

you've had a million tests. its cost us a fortune

and he's never found a thing.

Oh, and so that makes him a bad doctor?

- Yes, that makes him a terrible doctor. - Ho ho!

(People talking)

: I don't know we come to these things.

: Networking. I have to network if I want to work, work.

: You never talk to anyone but me.

You're the only one I want to talk to. That's the problem.

You can talk to me anytime you want.

I know but if I dragged you to one of these work cocktail thingies,

I get to see you wearing my favorite dress.

- What? This old thing? - Yep. I remember when we got that.

- Yes, I do. - When?

It was for Orlando's graduation, right?

Ah, it was 6 years ago.

Oh, come on, you really haven't changed a bit.

- You look fan... - Hey! Hey!

- He didn't even stop. Hey! - No, no, no. Don't. He's pinkerton.

- If it wasn't for my eye... - Now, hold this.

I'm going to go clean this up. And while I am gone,

go talk to someone. Network...

And if I do...

Ok...

Networking.

Oh! I'm sorry.

No, no, it was my fault.

I didn't lock the door, because I was only cleaning.

- Well, you're the maid? - No.

Cleaning my dress.

Someone spilled wine on it.

- Not red I hope. - White. Thank God.

Thank God for small mercies.

- Yes. - Yes. Bob.

What?

My name, it's Bob.

Oh! Davina.

- Davina. - A feminine form of David

from the Hebrew "dah-veed" meaning beloved.

Ah, a writer.

- Ha! Ha! Ha! - Or rabbi.

No, a writer. Please.

And what about you? - I am not.

Oh... and what are you then?

I work in an art gallery.

Hmm, when I was younger, I was a model,

and an actress.

Although I did more modeling. Print work mostly.

I never really liked performing.

Maybe... Maybe it wasn't any good.

No. No, no, no. I was good, but, well...

Takes more than talent to make it as an actress and...

Anyway, you know, things come up

and you make choices and...

life leads you somewhere you didn't expect

or even want at the time.

But I think ultimately, that's a good thing

to let life happen to you,

because I've... I've never been a 5-year-plan

kind of person. That's... that's limiting,

and I'm realistic,

and ultimately, inevitably disappointing.

Um...

What was the question?

What do you do?

- (He laughs.) - I, uh...

I work in an art gallery. Part-time.

Yes. Well, um...

We've had quite a long conversation

considering we're in a bathroom.

Can you imagine all the dramas that take place inside bathrooms?

All the whispered fights, all the tears,

the mad sex,

you know, people born in bathrooms.

And there's a high probability that we'll die in one.

- Well, not tonight, I hope. - Is that it?

What?

The wine stain.

Oh! Yes, it's...

It's not too bad, is it? - No.

It's a very lucky stain.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Well...

It's all yours. The bathroom, I mean...

Bob. (Bog laughs.)

I'm sorry that I went on and on

about not knowing who I am. I-I...

I don't know why I did that.

You won't listen to me, but you'll listen to Davina?

Well, the implication was that I would be rewarded

with sex if I did some successful network.

I can't help you there. An agent has to draw

- the line somewhere. - Thank God! So upon whom

- should I pounce? - Well, Robert Ringwald is here.

Really? He's great. He's a genius.

- This doesn't count. - Yes, it's networking... no?

- No. - You'll never guess

who's here. Robert Ringwald.

Who's Robert Ringworm? - Robert "Ringworm"

is a very successful, fabulously talented columnist.

He's the man I aspire to be one day.

But you can't actually be someone else.

Oh yes, you can if you murder them and you wear their skin,

- you can. - Speak of the devil.

Bob, uh... this is a client of mine.

Al Jackson. Al.

Wow! I... Mr. Ringworm...

Wald. I read your piece

about Syria in the vanity fair,

and, uh, it was great.

- It was really great. - Thank you. And you are...?

Oh, this is my wife, Davina. Sorry.

How do you do, Davina? Sorry, my hand's a little damp.

- I was just in the washroom. - Al's a columnist, too.

- Are you? - Yeah, well, I mean

I'm a columnist in the sense that I have a column,

but I'm not a... You know, you're a columnist;

- I write a column. - Oh, what are you working on?

He wrote a hilarious piece

on Christmas lighting displays. When was that?

- Last Christmas. - Yes, but I'm working

on something a little longer right now,

a more serious thing. It's about what makes a classic,

- and how we can identify it. - A classic...

A perfect example

of something. You know it as soon as you see it.

But true, true, the criteria are very hard to define.

- Yes. - Grace,

timelessness, beauty obviously.

You know what?

I need some judges for this book prize

that I'm working on. A little bit of light reading.

- What do you say? - Me?

- Yes. - He'd be thrilled.

Yes, of course!

Well, terrific. You'd be doing me a great favour.

And what do you do?

I work in an art gallery...

Part-time.

About your eye

and the possible cancer therein,

your tests were... are you ready?

- Please, just tell me. Please. - Inconclusive.

: They're what?

I'm sure it's a lab error. You wouldn't believe