Aunty No. 1

'I've heard..

..that people first pay Tony's tax and then breathe.'

'You've heard it, right?'

'If the stray dog steals two bones..

..it sucks on one bone and deposits the other in Tony's fund.'

'And you! You haven't put any tax in Tony's hat for one week!'

'Tony sir, my goods were caught.'

'Death catches up with those whose goods are caught.'

'Tony sir, here's the money!'

'For this week and the next.'

'For next week. You mean advance?'

'Fate cannot be trusted.'

'If the goods get caught, we can escape from the police.'

'But who can escape Tony's bullets?'

'Did you all hear?'

'No one can escape Tony's bullets. No one!'

'Tony sir, why did you kill him?'

'Because, he understood me too well.'

'Got it?' - 'Yes!'

'Brother Tony..

..here are the diamonds you've been waiting for, for years.'

'Diamonds!'

'Diamonds! These are the diamonds, for which I can wait forever.'

'Just to touch them. My V.I.P. diamonds.'

'My brother Bharat's diamonds. Diamonds.'

'I want to touch them once. Let me touch it.'

Uncle! - Diamonds.

Get up! - My brother Bharat's diamonds!

Get up uncle, its morning.

Whenever I've a good dream, you wake me up.

I was about to reach the diamonds. You never let me reach them.

Uncle. For the past 6 months, you've been having the same dream.

How do you know that? Do you come and stand in it?

I don't need to do that.

From your words and actions, I can figure out everything.

What can you figure out?

You shot two people.

And slit one person's throat.

But you let me reach the diamonds.

Just as I'm about to reach the glowing diamonds..

..you stand in front of me with your ugly face!

Gopi!

You fool, have you woken up or not?

Sister-in-law, my mother.

Trying to wipe your hands with my clothes!

Boy, did you go to the bathroom or not?

Go to the bathroom, you've to go to school.

Have some shame, Gopi.

Why should I feel ashamed? I've worn pants.

I'm telling you.

Help your brother to run the house.

You're growing like an ox!

We helped you become a graduate so that you could find a good job.

But you're ruining your life in theatre, useless fellow!

Shall I tell you one thing sister-in-law?

The applause my plays get, equals your husband's 20 months' salary.

When people clap, both the heart and soul are satiated!

Talking rubbish again! I'll hit you!

Why are you thrashing my brother?

You interrupted me again!

Whenever I try drilling some sense into him..

..you interrupt and change the topic.

No, that's fine. But thrashing him black and blue three times a day!

My brother is like the '98 model of Mercedes!

Not a down-market model like you.

Shut up! - Oh God!

Gopi! Tell me clearly, when will you start working?

Can I say something sister-in-law, if you don't mind?

If you don't mind? -Yes, tell me.

Brother works so hard and honestly all day. What is his salary?

Tell your brother. - 2,500.

2,500! And household expenses are 4,000.

We still fall short by 1500 rupees. What's the use of such hard work?

Then you earn the 1500 rupees.

This will lighten the burden on us.

Right? - Yes, you're right.

I'm thinking of earning 15 million..

..but why is my sister-in-law insisting on 1500 rupees?

Let me once become the star of this nation!

That day..

..my brother will be the biggest star of this country's film industry.

Out of the one billion in India..

..990 million people have the same dream.

But one person's dream does get fulfilled. - And he'll be my brother.

Shut up! Keep quiet!

You interrupt too much! I'll talk clearly to you.

Today is the 1st of January!

By the 30th of June if you become an actor..

..then forget billions or millions, even if you get thousands, you win!

Otherwise, you'll have to listen to me!

You'll have to learn welding in Albert welder's garage! - Welder!

Yes, you'll become a welder!

Explain to him. - Yes!

Why does sister-in-law get angry like the vamp in the movies?

She's an old model of '56.

But one good thing will happen. If she cuts my wire..

..you can solder it my welder brother.

Come on, hurry up. Take the bike out. I've to go.

Brother, do you think sister-in-law will reform?

Can a vamp ever become a heroine?

Even I don't think so. But I was just asking.

Brother, it is so late. Will the boss scold you?

My boss is like Mercedes Benz.

Only his horn doesn't work! - Meaning?

He's dumb. He's a very nice man, he never yells.

Come on, park the bike. - Brother, I've a show again today.

Can I take the bike? I want to go in style.

Really?

Fine, but remember one thing.

You're still a novice in life.

Don't give any girl a lift or I'll slap you! - Bye.

Good morning, sir.

Boss says, you've been working here for so long..

..but you're never late.

That's why you've still kept this old man..

..in your new, air conditioned garage!

Sir!

Gopi!

Tell me young girl, what's your problem?

Sage, my husband doesn't come home at night.

I'm very unhappy with him.

Sage, hand this case over to me.

Quiet!

Calm down son!

It's not nice to stand up every now and then.

Sit down!

Sage. - You look like a decent man.

You're standing properly too.

Why don't you come home at night? - What can I say, sage?

My work starts at night!

Then you seem to be some thief or dacoit. - Sage!

You're omniscient!

You recognised that I'm a dacoit!

We have to meet Gopi! - He's our good friend.

If I know about someone's name..

..whereabouts his clothes and daily routine..

..I can find out everything!

Like my inner soul is yelling and saying..

..that he's a police officer! - Sage!

Gopi!

Who?

Where did this voice come from? - From here.

You! Here!

At this time! Why?

What for? - Sage, there's an urgent fax for you!

Fax! Relax!

I'll meet you after an hour in the form of lord Hanuman!

No master, if you delay anymore it'll be too late.

We'll be ruined.

You'll come with us right now. - Then come on.

Come on.

Sir, this is our grandfather. - Where is he?

May I come in sir? - You're already in!

No, let me enter properly.

Sir, my name is Major Badi Dadiwala.

Both these useless boys are my grandsons.

But why are you shaking so much?

Because I'm shocked by their deeds.

Why is your beard so long? - This isn't my beard.

It's the tradition of my family. - This is nothing!

His daddy had such a long arm that..

..people used to say his arms were longer than the law!

And wherever he'd go, his arms would reach before him.

And sir, his daddy. Principal sir, I mean my great grandfather..

..had such a long leg that..

..whenever interfered..

..things would get ruined! - You're so intelligent!

Yes. - This is nothing.

The grandfather of my father's, father's grandfather..

I understood.

In your family, everyone has something big.

But when I was born, my grandma was very angry. - Why?

Because I didn't have anything big.

The day I saw the first hair of my beard I decided..

..to continue the tradition of my family with my beard. - Yes!

And that's why this 20-22 yard long thing is in your hands.

Look, I'm an old man.

I cannot bend.

But I touch your feet with my beard.

No. Grandfather, what are you doing? - Please take.

My useless grandsons back in the college.. - Fine.

I'm giving you admission because of your grandfather.

Thank you, sir! - But within a year..

..according to the tradition of your family do something big and show me.

Sir, we promise you. - We assure you.

Now tell me, what more can these innocent boys do? - Nothing.

Fine, I'll leave now. - Ok..

Thank you very much. - Take this along.

It'll follow me. - Yes.

Carefully you fools! Don't step on my beard.

Why am I shaking?

"Without you the heart is restless."

"Without you I've lost my slumber."

"I'm restless. Let me kiss your body."

"Come in my arms."

"There's waiting. There's so much love in my eyes."

"Without you the heart is restless."

"Without you I've lost my slumber."

"I'm restless. Let me kiss your body."

"Come in my arms."