The Borrower

Am I?

Am I?

Dead? No, not exactly.

Your sentence has been adjusted.

What?

The tribunal decided that in your case

execution was too lenient.

Too kind an end for a murderer of such voracious appetite.

You've been genetically devolved.

What?

Genetically devolved.

This is your punishment.

The worst sentence we could pass.

You're a human being now.

A human being?

Yes.

A primitive life form occupying the savage planet Earth.

We will land there soon and you will be left, banished.

A generous action on our part.

Better than you deserve.

Banished.

Exactly.

You've no hope for return.

But I, I'm alive.

Yes. For now.

But remember, de-evolution is a flawed process.

It doesn't always work.

Your ingenuity will determine your ability to survive.

Good luck.

At least it's a chance.

I'll kill you.

A word of caution.

Guard your body well.

Damage to it may result in painful metamorphosis, or worse.

Yeah.

So he takes this big ass ball bearing

and drops it down the end of a high pressure hose.

And just as Dave comes around that corner, pow!

Lets him have it.

Knocked him dead on his ass.

That little squealer is lucky

we did not have to break his arm.

Yep.

You told me.

Gimme a cigarette.

I thought you quit.

I did. I just want one.

Gimme one.

Well...

if you really want me to.

- Give me a damn cigarette 'fore I knock your head off.

- There she is. - Where?

Where?

I got her.

Ah, God, see what you made me do?

Son of a bitch!

What?

Dad?

Dad?

Shut up.

One of 'em's human.

What's the other one?

How the hell should I know?

We got to do something.

Shoot it.

Yeah. Yeah, shoot it.

Yeehaw!

Yeah, Dad!

Yeah!

I'll bet he is glad to see us.

Howdy.

Dad!

Dad?

Shit.

There ain't nobody gonna believe this.

Oh, yeah?

Take the car, and go borrow Joey's van,

but don't tell him nothing.

If we can get this thing outta here, maybe we can sell it.

Who'd pay money for this?

Somebody will buy it.

The Army, the circus, fucking Johnny Carson.

And get some dry ice, too.

Why don't we just put it in the trunk?

I am not putting that thing in my car.

Maybe we should just get the cops.

Don't be stupid.

Just go do what the hell I told you.

Well, go on, goddamn it, go!

Yeah, you clear?

5653, 5653, are you clear?

You ever been to Hawaii?

Yeah, I was there last month.

Yeah? How was it?

It was nice.

That's it? I mean, some imagination.

Just nice?

You wanna know the truth?

No, not really.

They kill each other over coconuts,

all they eat is fish, and it rains every day.

- That's not Hawaii. That's Cleveland.

See, I've been to Cleveland.

Come on. Play fair.

Is that Scully?

Where? Where?

That guy looks like him.

Yeah, now look, here's what we're gonna.

No hey, hey, hey, take it easy, wait, wait!

Oh, Jesus.

Hold it, Scully.

Police. You're under arrest.

Hey, asshole.

Fuck! Fuck!

Hands above your head now!

I'm innocent. I didn't do nothing.

- I have a warrant for your arrest on charges of rape,

sodomy and attempted murder.

You have the right to remain silent.

Come on, mister.

Any... Let her go!

Scully, let her go.

I'm here either way.

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?

Take a shot. Take a shot.

No!

Loosen up, bitch!

Let her go, Scully!

Fuck around and I shoot your ass!

Back the fuck up!

Shit.

Hold it, Scully.

Go on. Get outta here.

Beat it.

Beat it!

You shoot me, and I'll slit her throat.

I mean it.

You wouldn't shoot me.

Try me.

In the back?

You ain't got the ba...

You have the right to remain silent.

Fucking leg.

Anything you say can and will be used against you.

Oh god!

You have a right to an attorney.

What's the matter with you, you bitch?

If you can't afford one

the court will appoint one. - You're in big trouble!

No, listen, baby.

Listen. I'm gonna tell you something.

I could really go for a honey like you.

Ow! You're hurting me!

Hey, I didn't think you heard what I said.

We can play house.

I'll bring my friend.

What, you can't even take a joke?

Who's gonna pay money for this?

Yeah?

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

I don't believe this.

I don't believe this.

Tell me you're not dead.

I'm not dead.

Oh, my god, please be okay.

Please, mister.

Please, mister, please be okay.

Are you all right?

I live. I think.

- Come on. Come on, I'll take you to the hospital.

Come on. Come on.

You know, I got hit by a car once.

I was seven.

I was playing with my brother's skateboard,

and zoomed out in the street, and wham!

A cookie truck crashed right into me.

Knocked me out cold for a minute.

My head was as big as a watermelon.

Really gross.

Driver felt bad.

Stopped by our house, gave us a whole case of cookies.

I mean, can you imagine?

What a joke.

Turned out okay, though,

'cause we sued the guy and went to Disneyland.

Disneyland.

You sure you're okay?

I am fine.

- Yeah, well, I'll take you to the hospital anyway.

Headlights bothering you?

Grab some sunglasses.

Some sunglasses in there.

Go ahead. Grab 'em.

Don't worry. It's registered.

I'm not a criminal.

You just can't be too careful these days, that's all.

For God's sake.

Go ahead, put 'em on, put 'em on.

Go ahead, go ahead.

Kinda cute.