Shameless

I need new kids.

You need new parents.

Welcome, new Gallaghers.

Frank, you can't have a homeless shelter here.

I beg to differ, neighbor.

Your meds can go out of balance

when you go through a high-stress thing

like a breakup.

Just take the week off and go to a doctor.

Phillip. Tito. Senior intern.

- Nice to meet you. - I'll show you around.

Uh, sign is self-explanatory.

The Feds showed up at my internship today.

Took a couple of servers.

- (IAN) What for? - (LIP) No idea.

- You gave a girl what? - Gonorrhea.

If you don't have it...

- She got it from... - Another guy's dick.

Is there gonna be gunfire?

I sure as shit hope so.

Move. Go, go, go!

She was shoplifting.

I just wanted to be a good mom.

Good moms stick around.

This is my father. He's staying with us for a while.

Tinder rocks. Free sex anytime I want it

so I can save my energy for more important things.

Patsy's Pies?

You spend all day working for free.

Has a point.

My bullshit internship is

gonna turn into a non-bullshit career.

Wow.

No offense.

Some taken.

- Morning. - Hey. Can I get a drag?

Ooh. Your next hit-it-and-quit-it?

On a platter.

Dang.

Six-pack, down for anything,

only in town for a week.

What's the tattoo?

Whoa. I-I might be easy,

but I draw the line at white supremacy.

Nah, I think it's a Buddhist symbol.

Huh.

Been dead all night?

Yeah. Since the dinner rush ended.

Maybe the 24-hour thing's a shitty idea.

I don't think people know about it.

I put it on the marquee.

- (MAX) Morning, boss. - (FIONA) Hey.

Gonna be a scorcher.

Your sign's wrong.

It says we're open 24/7.

We are.

Right.

We're literally on the way from the clubs to the L.

The kids stumble right past us.

They're probably headed to wherever they can keep raging.

Why can't they rage here?

Be right back.

See? I told you.

Yo, what the hell's going on in here?

It's Wednesday? I don't know.

It's 4:00 a. m. And the food's terrible.

It's the only place still serving booze.

They got a liquor license?

Uh, no. They just put it in mugs so cops can't tell.

Party, tomorrow night,

after-hours to announce our new times.

We'll invent bullshit drink names for the booze

and keep it off the menu.

Folks got to ask for it.

- Oh-ho! A speakeasy. - Mm-hmm.

Max, throw together a late-night menu, would you?

Make it a little grungy.

You got it, boss. Here, lunch special...

Artichoke, spinach, pepper jack on toasted sourdough.

- Mm. - Bourgie grilled cheese.

Eight bucks?

Ten. Throw in some gourmet pickles.

You got it.

Ugh, man, that two extra hours of sleep is a miracle.

Thank you so much for coming every morning.

What? Look at these guys.

They're chillin'.

They dig you.

You like kids, huh?

You're the only gramps these guys got.

I'm just bummed that you and my other wife

got off on the wrong foot.

She just doesn't love how you sold our wife

into sex slavery.

Great talk, man.

Hey!

Okay, see, yeah.

In America,

we take the food off the knife

before we give it to the babies.

Speaking Russian

Exactly.

- Morning. - (LIP) Hey. Morning.

What happened to your face?

Uh, boating accident.

Right.

First of the month. Pony up.

- (DEBBIE) What about Ian? - Paid in advance.

Ugh. Uh...

This is all I could scrounge up.

Great.

I'll expect the other $372.22 shortly.

I am a full-time mother with no help, Fiona.

Donut Prince is hiring.

Passed it on the way home.

Snagged you an application.

What am I supposed to do with Harry?

Not my problem.

I swear that Russian is up to no good.

- What did she do now? - What?

Not Svetlana. Her father.

You got two weeks.

Can't get together your share by then,

I got to rent out your room.

Where am I supposed to go?

Mm, homeless shelter down the street?

I know the guy who runs it.

That's kind of harsh.

I got to hit the sack. I'm dying.

Okay, you guys need food, clothes, bail, whatever,

call Lip.

I'm on hiatus. Love you.

Nice to see you, too.

This is so unfair. Lip?

I got to take Liam to day care,

and then I got to go to my internship.

All right? I'll have my phone.

Call me if there's a crisis.

I'm right behind you.

Good luck getting laid

smelling like fried dough all day.

You always smell like that. What's your excuse?

Uh, bitches and hormones.

Ha!

Those Samaritans can scare up a spread, I tell you.

Here you go, Jocelyn.

You like them runny, right?

Rocky! Fuel up.

You're gonna outrun Satan today.

I just know it.

Go easy on the sausages there, Evan.

Save some for the other cocksuckers.

I'm just kidding.

My son's gay.

Jesus! It is hotter than a hooker's hankie in here.

Hey. Let's have a...

A team-building challenge.

First family member to score a functioning air conditioner

gets a reward.

Daddy Frank, someone's hammering signs in our lawn.

Howdy, neighbor.

Hot enough for you?

This is no place for a shelter.

I don't know. Looks okay to me.

We have a two-year-old at home, one on the way.

It's not safe for our kids here at night.

Why is your two-year-old out at night?

Look, my wife and I will happily donate money to your cause.

We want to support ending homelessness.

Just not in your backyard, right?

Last night, he had a three-hour argument

with a man he murdered in Nam.

He wasn't in Nam. He's 30.

He's a nut-job.

Well... we want to read bedtime stories to our kids

about rainbows and kittens,

not burning napalm babies and beheading Charlie.

I'll tell you what... From now on,

we'll have him indoors by 10:30.

All good?

- (SIGN CLANGS) - You don't belong here!

Ugh!

Why's she so angry?

Lesbians are traditionally angry.

Ignore her.

You want something to eat?

You and your pal?

- (MUTTERING) - I don't think so.

You are so unbelievably cool with those rancid drunk guys.

I don't know where you get the patience.

Lifetime of practice.