Avengers of Justice: Farce Wars

There has been an awakening.

Awaken!

I'm up, I'm awake, what's going on?

Master, you're up early. What is thy bidding?

The twins of SuperBat turn 17 this 'morrow.

The Farce is strong with the girl,

but in the boy I feel is weak.

Do you have the Star Death Krypto Tesseract thing-a-ma-goo?

Behold!

That ball of green greatness has the power to freeze planets.

Grab your coat and earmuffs Jokester,

it's going to be a bumpy winter.

Come on!

Freeze!

Listen here, it's a stick-up see?

- Give me the cash. - Come on!

- Hey, hey! - Don't move.

This ain't no peashooter.

Hey, hey, hey!

Come any closer and I'll clip her.

Keep the change.

Hey! Get away from my car!

What's wrong with you two?

This car is a classic! What are you nuts?

It's ok baby, daddy is right here.

Did they hurt you?

What the...

Drop the peashooter.

- Sorry. - You think this is funny?

Look, just give us our ball back.

You want your ball back?

Here, get your ball back.

Gosh, no respect for their elders.

Bill, Susan.

What's that?

Yes, come on.

Honey, did you pick up the ice?

Yeah, I got it.

My hero.

Why's it so hot in here?

What's up with the A/C?

I think the unit outside is broken.

Could this day get any worse?

The guy on the news said the sun will be the closest it's been...

- ...in 2,000 years. - Great.

Do you think you could fix the AC?

Well, I bet Alfred could...

...if he wasn't dead.

I miss Alfred.

Me too.

What's wrong?

The security company I applied to rejected me.

Honey, I'm so sorry.

Well, don't give up. I trust someone will hire you.

I tried them all, but nobody wants me.

Well, I want you...

...to snap out of it!

Today is not about your problems...

...and you are not going to hide in the Man-Cave of Solitude.

Where are my bracelets?

Today is about being with your family.

There we go.

Do you hear me Bruce Kent?

Yes, every word Jean Wonder.

Good.

I'm in here.

Raya, hey.

Wait, how did you know that I was...

I can read the thoughts of the weak minded

Okay, sorry.

That's new though. That's cool!

It started this morning.

I can't lift anything much heavier but...

I can do this.

Look at you!

Nice! You know, when your mom was young,

she used to be able to make one...

Great, Dad.

- Thanks. Anything else? - Sorry.

- Yes I have to ask... - Well, I don't care...

...because the internet is down again,

- tell him Lucas. - Tell me what?

The AC is definitely broken.

- Did you break it? - His stupid robot did.

Hello, I am C-R-E-P-O.

Human to cyborg assistance unit.

- Buddy... - We were trying to fix it!

I built him for you to help you around the house.

Lucas, I mean this thing is very creepy.

It's not creepy to think that while you all are sleeping,

I am still awake cleaning.

I appreciate the help. I do,

but I ran a multi-billion dollar newspaper empire...

Into bankruptcy

Thank you.

Surely I can fix the air conditioning.

You are in desperate need of employment Mr. Kent.

Nobody's talking to you, Creepio.

0100100101 Malfunction. Malfunction!

Come on, Lucas.

Look, stop fiddling with the robot,

and start concentrating on your superpowers like your sister.

There! There! He's perfect!

I don't think so.

Perfectly stupid

What if I never get my powers?

Lucas.

You'll get your powers!

Girls just mature faster than boys...

...which is why we lose ours earlier than you.

Well, your father's are fading, but my powers, they're gone.

Superhero fact 37192.

Knowledge is the real power.

You should seriously consider reprograming your robot.

Happy birthday my babies.

You can go.

Lucas, I'm following you.

Beep beep beep bop bop beep beep.

Dark Jokester.

Lisp Luthor.

You look nothing like your Myspace profile picture.

Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder I always say.

Well, the pleasure is mine, put her there.

Works every time.

Should have saw that coming. Very sneaky, yes.

How about I show you a real magic trick?

Wanna see a pencil disappear?

Maybe another time.

You're no fun.

Anyways, shall we?

After you, ha!

What a lovely jester.

I find that joke offensive.

Only clowns are allowed to use that word.

My apologies.

Just show me your toys.

Yes, okay, well, this way.

- Look at this guy. - Hey, Marty, how are ya?

I think Creepio's fixed now.

I...

I've installed some health and fitness programs on him.

Maybe he could help us both with our super powers?

We can start by giving you a physical, Mr. Kent.

- What do you think? - No, thank you.

It's great, son.

Why don't you put him in a corner?

Somewhere where I can't see him?

You really are into those gadgets though?

Yeah, I used to like gadgets too.

Nobody puts C-R-E-P-O in the corner.

Tony Starch!

Haven't been in the Man Cave of Solitude in a while...

Hey, hey, hey, don't touch that!

God Lucas! Look what you did!

I told you not to touch this.

I'm sorry it was an accident

An accident, just like the air conditioner was an accident.

Do me a favor. Don't touch anything.

Don't try to fix anything. Okay?

Dad, I'm really sorry.

Just leave.

Mommy!

Nooooooooo!

No. She's everywhere!

Goodness. Mommy!

She's ruined.

I can fix it.

Get out!

My bad.

Don't let your man cave become your tomb, Bruce.

Even your belt doesn't want to be around you Mr. Kent.

I know, I know.

It has taken me years...

...of science and mathematics and calibrations.

But once this doomsday device is complete,

we will have the most epic,

devastating, doomsday device in existence.

I love it.

But first, we need an army.

Oo, could we dress them up like little clowns?

Yes, clowns,

and then I need the Star Death Krypto Tesseract...

...to power the device.

I just happen to know a guy.

But first, we need to kidnap Superbat's son.

Yeah, anything to annoy Superbat.

And we need take the superpowered DNA...

...that lies dormant in his system.

I'll leave that nerdy stuff up to you.

And we splice his DNA with my current henchmen,

- making super soldiers! - Okay, enough!

Geez!

That looks really...

...dumb, Lisp.

It looks like a coffee machine...

...with a bunch of science stuff taped to it.

But Jokester. Looks are deceiving!

Once this device is complete,

we'll have the whole world bending at the kneecaps.

Okay, don't get too excited...