Little Murders

Hey.

What you doing in the street?

I can't hear you. What?

He's taking pictures. Did you hear that?

What do you want a picture for? Huh?

- I'm a photographer. - A photographer?

Hey, he looks like a big photographer.

Wipe that smile off your face.

Hey, you think you're a tough guy, right?

Creep.

- For what? - My camera.

Your camera. Why?

You have a lot of fun with it.

Take our picture.

Be careful with his camera.

Hey. Take my picture, will you, man?

- Hello. - Patsy, this is Lester.

- Hello, Lester. - I thought it only fair to tell you

I'm getting married.

I think that's a very good idea, Lester.

I won't do it if you don't think I should.

I want you very much to get married, Lester.

Can I come over tonight and talk to you about it?

- No, Lester. - Tomorrow night?

I have to get off now, Lester.

Come on! Do something!

- How about your camera now? - Stand there like a lump!

- Jesus Christ. What a fruit. - He's a fruit, man.

- Faggot. - Faggot.

Look at that son of a bitch! Look at him!

Look at him! He's a big fag! Get him! Fag! Go on! Get him, man!

- Come on, faggy. Come on. Do something. - How about your camera now?

Grab his camera. What is it, baby? Come on! Do something!

Get him! Oh! Oh!

What are you laughing at?

- What are you laughing at? - You think that's funny? Come on.

- You want more? - Come on. Do something.

You're gonna get worked over.

Come on, pal. We're gonna hurt your camera.

- We're gonna take your camera. - Come on!

- Yeah! Come on! - Talk to us, man. Talk!

- Hey, you guys. Stop it down there. - Come on!

Hey. I'm gonna call the police. Stop it. Hey!

Hey! Come on. Stand up and fight.

- Get him. - You're a big fag!

- You fruit! - Come on!

Pick him up! Pick him up!

You're not a man, you're a faggot!

Police emergency. Sergeant Kershner. One moment.

Hey! Hey!

Who do you think you are? You're beating up on innocent people!

How do you expect anybody to sleep?

Let go of my purse! Come on! Ow!

Stop it! Hey! Give that back to me!

Stop it! Now, listen! Stop! Ow!

No!

You... you degenerates!

Stop! That's not funny!

No!

Ow! Stop that! Ow! No!

Let go! Stop it! Give me back my purse!

Come on.

Who do you think you are? What kind of a man are you? Huh?

I... I should have let them break your neck.

Now, look at me. Look at me. Listen.

What do you think... Are you a man or...

That was absolutely the most spineless...

Are you a man? I don't know what you are.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

You shouldn't have done that. They were getting tired. You got them mad.

- You shouldn't have. - Listen.

They were killing you!

You wa... Why didn't you help me?

You could have defended me. I defended you. Don't you think you should have at least tried?

People help each other all the time. Isn't that what life is all about?

I don't know why you want to make such a big thing out of it.

Those guys in the park, they said, "Hey, fat-face, what are you staring at?"

If I told them I wasn't staring at them, they would have beat me up for being a liar.

If I told them I was staring at them because I wanted to take their picture,

then they'd beat me up for being a cop.

So I told them I was staring at them because they looked familiar,

and they beat me up for being a fag!

There's no way of talking someone out of beating you up if that's what he wants to do.

And you... you just let them?

I want to do what I want to do, lady, not what they want me to do.

Listen, no... no one behaves like that. That... I...

I... I... I ought to break your neck.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Listen.

Are you really so down on people, or are you just being fashionable?

These are beautiful. Really. Just beautiful.

It's sort of a collage effect, isn't it?

And they're all...

They're all...

- Hmm. What do you do for pleasure? - This.

Oh, I don't mean work. I mean, this is important, but...

I mean, if all you ever do is take pictures of...

you know, this sort of picture...

I mean, isn't that awfully limited?

For example, I do interiors.

Now, I like it. I even love it.

But I'd go bats if I had to go home and do interiors,

and go on my vacation and do interiors,

and interiors was all that was ever on my mind.

I mean, that's death. No wonder you're depressed.

I'm not depressed.

Hmm.

So...

this is it.

This is all that you do.

You don't ski?

Ski?

You don't play tennis?

Golf?

Ping-pong?

Checkers?

Oh, you must have some fun.

Fun.

Hello there.

Hello there.

Testing. One, two, three. Testing.

Talk to me. Sing. Do something.

- You want to drive for a while? - I hate cars.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

- Except have fun. - You'll get used to it.

Thank you.

Okay.

What do you mean you don't dance? You dance very well.

I didn't know this was dancing.

Admit it. You're having fun.

You're a terrific girl, Patsy. I don't know if you know that.

I think you were fantastic

on the tennis court this afternoon.

Admit it. You're having fun.

You're having the time of your life.

- Tonight. - Well, that's something.

This must be the first time in your life you're having the time of your life.

- Why not? - I don't feel like it.

Well, I didn't mean to force myself on you.

You're a terrific girl. I really mean that.

I'll tell you when I feel like it.

Do you know how I wake up every morning of my life?

With a smile on my face.

And for the rest of the day I come up against an unending series of...

of challenges to wipe that smile off my face.

The breather calls. Ex-boyfriends call to tell me they're getting married.

Someone tries to break into the apartment while I'm getting dressed.

There's a drunk asleep in the elevator.

Three minutes after I'm out in the street, my camel coat turns brown.

The subway stalls. A man standing next to me presses his body against mine.

The up elevator jams.

Rumours start buzzing around the office that we're about to be automated.

The down elevator jams.

The air on Lexington Avenue is... is purple. And all the taxis are off duty.

A man on the bus tries to pick me up. Another man follows me home.

I walk in the door, and the breather's on the phone.

Isn't that enough to wipe the smile off anybody's face?

Well, it doesn't wipe it off mine.

Because for every bad thing, there are two... no, four good things.

There are... there are friends and a wonderful job,

and tennis, travelling and skiing,

staying up all night to watch the sun rise,

flying your own airplane, horseback riding.

Alfred, I think I'm falling in love with you.

I said, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Alfred, are you falling in love with me?

I don't know what love is!

- Do you think I'm aggressive? - I don't mind.

- Do you think I'm too aggressive? - I like it.

Somebody has to be aggressive.

- Do you like me? - I think you're terrific.

- Are you attracted to me? - Come on, Patsy.

Do you want to make love to me?

Hey, you're pretty aggressive.

Your life is in my hands.

I trust you.

Oh, Alfred, do you really?

- I nearly trust you. - "Nearly"?

I nearly do. I really nearly do.

Oh, Alfred!

I really nearly trust you!

I nearly... I nearly really...

Patsy, I really, nearly trust you.

Oh, Alfred!

Listen, we don't have to if you don't want to.

- No, I want to. - Are you sure you want to?

No, I think I want to.

Oh.

Oh.

You're not smiling.

I'll do the kitchen over in butcher board.

I can get seconds on dishes in the Village.

Sheets and towels, Macy's or Bloomingdale's.

A dining room table, chairs, dressers, a sofa...

we'll go to auctions over the weekend.

Broadlooms I can pick up cheap at a wholesaler's.

Oh, bring your photofloods over from the studio until I find lamps.

I'll have a carpenter in on Monday to put up a work area, a darkroom...

and you'll need your own closet.

A king-size bed, Sloane's will deliver in ten days.

In two weeks we'll get married.