A Man Called Otto

Welcome to the store.

Are you a Busy Beaver?

No, I am not a Busy Beaver.

Are you a Frequent Beaver?

Join our rewards club for savings.

You can get your teeth into our dam good deals.

Don't forget:

If you need help, ask a Beaver.

Oh. Oh.

Hey. Oh. Can I, uh, help you with that, sir?

Do you think I don't know how to cut rope?

No, it's just we usually do that for ya.

Do you think I'm gonna cut myself and bleed all over your floor and sue you?

No.

Then I don't need your help.

Have an excellent day.

I'm a Busy Beaver.

Idiot.

Did you, um, find everything you were lookin' for today?

Yes.

Good.

Let's see here.

Uh, your total is 3.47.

You charged me for 6 feet of rope.

Oh, yes, it's 99¢ a yard.

I didn't get 2 yards. I got 5 feet.

Yeah, we don't charge by the foot. We charge by the yard.

99¢ a yard is 33¢ a foot, times 5, that's 1 .65.

You charged me $1 .98.

You're good at math. Um...

No, I know, but I can't put it into the computer the way that you just said.

What the hell kind of computer can't do simple math?

- Can I speak to your manager? - He's at lunch.

Lunch. All anyone cares about these days is lunch.

- Is there anyone else in charge? - You want the assistant manager?

- Yes, I'd like the assistant manager. - 'Kay.

Hey, Taylor?

Taylor? To the front register.

What's up?

Hey, Taylor.

This is the assistant manager? How old is she?

Shouldn't you be in gym class?

Sorry, what?

Here. I got some change.

Let me cover that extra 33¢ for you.

Sir, I do not want your 33¢. And this is not about 33¢.

This is about the fact that I got 5 feet of rope because I want 5 feet of rope.

And I shouldn't have to pay for 6 feet of rope if I don't want 6 feet.

Did you want another foot of rope?

Not again.

Hm.

How hard can this be?

That bike goes over here.

Hey! What the hell?

That's mine.

- It belongs in the bike rack. - I was only gone half a minute.

Next time, I'll lock it up in the lost and found.

Grumpy old bastard.

Jeez.

Not on the mirror.

- Hey, Otto! -

Okay.

Hey!

Don't you dare let that little rat dog piss on my walkway again.

- I know it was you. - Ignore him, Prince.

He's a nasty, bitter old man. And he has no idea who's doing that.

Well, it was one of you.

And tell that useless boyfriend of yours to stop stretching his groin in public.

Looks like a 14-year-old Romanian gymnast, for God's sakes.

Go on. Get outta here.

Go.

- -

There he is, the big man himself.

What's all this?

It's, well, retirement cake, I guess. Call it what you like.

"Have fun."

"Have fun."

Doing what?

Have fun with the rest of your life. We wanted to, you know...

Celebrate?

Yes! Well, no.

Give you a nice send-off.

"Nice."

Come on, Otto.

You're the one who decided to leave.

And you did get a nice severance package.

You took me off Operations.

You cut back on my hours.

You made Terry, who I trained, my supervisor.

Terry, who can barely figure out what year it is without his phone.

So, yes, I took the severance package.

I'm sorry you see it that way.

We all had to adjust after the merger.

But you've been quite an asset to this company over the years, so--

You have. Reliable as hell.

We're gonna miss those schedules of yours.

To Otto!

- To Otto! - To Otto.

Okay, Otto. Want a piece of your face?

- Who's hungry? -

Look at this.

No, no.

Hey, hey, wait!

No, no, no. Hey, you cannot use this road without a permit.

I'm not parking. I just dropped off a package.

The sign doesn't say anything about packages, does it?

It says "permits" and you don't have one.

This is not a through street.

Have a nice day, sir.

Every time you come in here

that means one of the residents can't park in front of their homes!

The other guys don't do this. The guys with the white trucks.

How come it's always you brown guys?

And I don't mean that racially!

Hello.

Oh, hi. Sorry, can you hear me?

Yes.

It's Susan.

Susan who?

I have great news about your health insurance.

Oh, no, no, no. Robot, robot, robot!

Well, who do I have to talk to to get this phone number disconnected?

That's Account Services.

Can you transfer me or should I press a number?

Well, I have been listening to that music for seven minutes.

I do apologize, Mr. Anderson.

I would like the electricity shut off at this residence.

- Are you moving home? - No, I am canceling the account.

A-N-D-E-R-S-O-N.

And why can't you refund me for the six days?

O-T-T-O.

Oh, it's policy.

Well, my policy is that if I'm going to pay for six days of gas,

then I will use six days of gas.

Then we are done here.

Idiots.

Okay.

Go, go, go. Stop. Go.

Okay. Yeah. Stop.

Back. You're in the blind spot, be careful. Use the Force.

Good, good. No, you're going on the sidewalk.

Okay.

Back, back, back.

Go away.

- - Stop. Stop.

Ah, shit.

What the hell is he doing?

Yes! Exactly! That's exactly what I was saying.

- Hey, you can't just drive here. -

I'm not driving. Am I driving the car? No.

You can't just bring a car on this street without a permit.

No, we have a parking permit. Right here. See?

What the hell's it doing in your pocket?!

Well, I'm the driver.

We're renting here. Yeah.

In 206.

That doesn't mean you can back the trailer up to your front door.

No, I wasn't. I was, uh, parallel parking.

Parallel to what?

Yeah, that, uh, didn't go so well, huh?

I'll just give it another try.

- Oh, my God. -

Okay.

Mm...

Good. Good!

Keep backing away. Keep backing away.

Now go away more.

Okay, I got this.

The other way, but first the other way.

- Easy. - Exactamente.

- Easy, easy. - Uh-huh. Good.

No. No, no. What? No!

- No, no, no! Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Stop! -

- Stop! Stop. Get outta the car. -

- Get outta the car. - I'm sorry.

How you could make it this far through life

without knowing how to back up a trailer.

My God, a dog with one front paw and cataracts could a done better than that.