Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties

Once upon a time, in an English castle far, far away,

there Iived a pampered personage

by the name of Prince.

- All right, everyone, he's awake. - Hurry.

Quickly. Get the Carlyle log.

Prince knew no other Iife than a Iife of Iuxury.

Did I mention that Prince was a cat?

Good morning, Prince.

Your tea.

Brekkie.

l have your favorite dish.

Carlyle log.

Lovely.

Super.

lt's good to be the king.

On the other side of the world, there lived an equally pampered cat

who thought he was the king,

but who ruled over a somewhat smaller domain.

Meow.

l'm the king of the cul-de-sac.

That's what l'm talking about.

Jon and l have everything l could ever want.

Food in the fridge. Cable and satellite.

And don't forget lasagna.

That's right. lt's good to be king.

l want you to know you're the most important thing in my life.

Let me sleep, please.

Before l met you, my life had no meaning.

l was incomplete.

You still are, really.

l guess what l'm trying to say is... will you marry me?

Marriage.

Well, this is kind of sudden. There may be some legal issues here.

Look, l like you, but not as a spouse.

Maybe as a servant we could stay together, make it work.

So what do you say, Liz?

Wait a second. Liz?

Garfield.

Liz is a girl. No, worse - she's a girl vet.

- Turkey's ready. - l think Jon has touched bottom now.

We gotta put an end to this torture.

Time for a new DJ.

Cat scratch fever!

Oh, cat scratch fever!

Somebody take my temperature.

Garfield.

- Man, you have changed. - l can't have you messing this up for me.

l get it. lt's her. She doesn't like our music.

Whatever happened to Jon, my metalhead guy, my dude?

You were so much cooler when you wore a mullet.

Now stay here.

Far cooler. l suppose she likes this haircut?

- Coming. - Tell me she likes it the way it is now.

- Hey, Liz. - Jon, l have incredible news.

Guess who's speaking at the fundraiser for the Royal Animal Conservancy.

- Siegfried and Roy? - Come on.

- Just Siegfried? - Jane Goodall dropped out

'cause she's nursing a sick chimp, and they asked me.

lt's gonna be at this really cool castle on a huge estate.

l am flying to London tomorrow morning. Can you believe this? l have to pack.

Are these rose petals and candles?

Yeah, well, l have... l've some...

Some important news of my own.

Me too.

Excuse me. Do you believe in love at first sight?

l was hoping you'd say yes. You have made me so very cat happy.

- Come on. What's the news? - The news is, l...

l finally house-trained Odie.

- Really? - Yeah.

That would explain the rose petals.

l have to pack. l'm so sorry about dinner, but l will send your regards to the Queen.

- Congratulations on Odie. - Yeah. And you too.

They're lucky to have you.

Bye.

- l thought she'd never leave. - Garfield. You ate the whole turkey?

- Well, yeah. - What are you doing with this?

Never mind.

lt's too late. She's already off to...

Good stuffing.

Come on. Cheer up. l saved you the wishbone.

- There's nothing l can do. - Return the ring. Get your money back.

- Wait a minute. l'll go to London. - You poor sap.

- She'll love it. She'll be surprised. - Tell me you won't.

- She'll say yes. - Please don't.

- l gotta go pack. - You moron.

This is a huge mistake, Jon. One of your biggest.

Don't roam. Stay home. Odie and l are not just coming along for the ride, pal.

This is actually an intervention.

Okay, guys. Here we are.

Quick flight. We must have been in the jet stream.

England is no great shakes. The buildings here look like the kennel back home.

That is the kennel back home. They'll never take me alive.

- They're gonna be fine, Jon. - Yeah.

Garfield's never stayed in a kennel before.

l'm afraid he might have some separation anxiety.

No. He's probably fast asleep in his cage by now.

You hear me, Warden? l have the right to remain silent.

Anything l say can and will be held against me in a court of law.

And l have the right to an attorney too, pal.

And if l can't afford one, one must be provided for me by the court.

Never mind. l just broke out.

He likes a belly rub twice a day.

lf you could give him lasagna between each meal, that would be great.

Almost forgot Pookie. He can't be without Pookie.

Great. Just when things were looking up.

Why don't you stay and get your fleas removed?

Maybe get a brain transplant.

Go away. Beat it. Hide beneath the wheels.

You're ripping my fur. Get off.

Get in here. Get in.

You have my cell phone and hotel number?

- Bye, now. - Okay.

Airport, and step on it.

Jon won't mind if l repack him. We're gonna need some room in this bag.

You savage beast. How dare you. Get out of here.

Smithee.

There's something in the pool, Smithee.

There's a duck in my pool, Smithee. A duck.

A duck, sir?

Filthy wild animal soaking itself in my pool.

- What do you intend doing about this? - l shall speak to the duck, sir.

By the way, the solicitors are here to read Lady Eleanor's will.

Excellent.

ln a few moments, l'll be the master of this entire estate.

And from this day on, things will be done my way.

This is the last will and testament of Lady Eleanor Carlyle of Carlyle Castle.

"l declare this to be my last will and testament

"which l make this first day of September..."

Keep still. They're reading Lady Eleanor's will.

l've got a bad feeling about this.

lf Lord Dargis gets the estate, we're done for.

Quiet.

"To my devoted Smithee: l make thee caretaker of my estate.

"Care for my beloved animal friends as you have in the past

"and you'll always have a home at Carlyle Castle."

Thank you, madam.

She's dead, Smithee. You can stop sucking up.

"The rest of my worldly possessions, my castle and grounds,

"l leave to the love of my life,

"somebody who was like a son to me..."

- Thank you, Aunt Eleanor. Thank you. - Please let me finish, Mr. Dargis.

l'm sorry. l got a little ahead of myself.

"...like a son to me, l leave all my possessions

"to my beloved kitty, Prince the 1 2th."

- lncredible. Entirely without precedent. - This is what it says.

But l'm her nephew, her only heir.

She can't have left it all to her cat.

- l, Prince, the new lord of the castle? - Hurrah.

Good show, Lady Eleanor. Bless her heart.

- Can it be? We are delivered. - Thank you, Winston.

The will clearly states that you may stay on at Carlyle Castle

and receive your usual stipend of 50 pounds a week.

50 pounds?

Upon Prince's passing, after what we assume will be a long and happy life,

you will receive the castle, the land and your title.

But that fat ball of fur could last for another 1 5 years.

Let us hope so.

The castle was built over 600 years ago by Lord Franklin Carlyle.

Now, the initial structure is late medieval in style...

On this wing, we'll put the pool and spa.

Yes, and where would the squash courts be?

- There he is. - That's unbelievable.

Hello. Snap your photos. Unfortunately, l can but spare a few moments...

Buddy, do you mind stepping aside? l can't get a good shot of the cat.

Greetings, all. Hello. So glad.

May l remind you this is private property.

Relax, bro. lt's not like you own the place.

We shall see.

To all the royal subjects, l give you the new possessor of Carlyle Castle,

Prince Xll.

To one and all, l pledge, from this day forward,

to rule my kingdom with wisdom and valor.

And as long as l reign, you shall continue to have safe haven

here on the bountiful grounds of Carlyle.

Thank you. That is all.

Hurrah. Long live Prince.

l think that went frightfully well, don't you, Winny?

Sire, l hasten to remind you that Lord Dargis

has every reason to get rid of you.

Winny, pooh-pooh.

l'm his favorite kitty cat.

Hello, little Prince.

What a beautiful day for a picnic, what?

No, thanks, old boy. You just run along and enjoy yourself.

What the devil...?

So it's hide-and-seek you want to play? All right, l'll count to 1 00.

- Hello, Rommel. - One, two, three, four, five...

...35, 36, 37, 38...

...96, 97, 98, 99, 1 00.

All right. Fair warning. Ready or not, here l come.

Bon voyage, Prince.

Dear me. l may have misjudged the old boy.

Perhaps he is somewhat of a scoundrel.

After all, this is not the way one plays hide-and-seek.

Blimey.

- Will that be all, sir? - Yes. Thank you.

- Thank you. - Thank you, sir.

Wait.

- How do l look? - Lovely, sir.

No, see, l'm proposing to my girlfriend. She's staying down the hall.