Soil (Grond)

A NETFLIX SERIES

Check it out, that little kid there in blue, that's me,

Ismael Boulasmoum.

And the girl in pink at my Aunt Aisha's side,

that's my sister, Nadia.

The guy next to me is my father, Omar.

My mother died at 11:25 a.m.

on 16 January 2006 in a clinic in Brussels.

By 5:15 p.m. the next day

she'd already been buried in a cemetery in Morocco.

It's how everyone does it. It's tradition.

As Moroccans, we repatriate our deceased.

Because when someone dies, a company is hired to handle all of it.

Everything from collecting the body,

to plane tickets, to the funeral in Morocco.

And all within 48 hours.

Hey, believe me, bro, I know all about it.

My parents had one of those companies.

My dad still does.

He thinks it's the most secure job for a Moroccan in Belgium.

People are always going to die. And there will always be repatriations.

People shouldn't have to think about it.

Besides, that's the whole point of tradition.

There's no need to think for yourself.

But my mother was a person who did think about things,

including where she wanted to be buried.

- - And that was here in Belgium,

close to her kids.

All three of us were standing beside her bed

when my father swore to her she'd stay with us.

But she hadn't even been dead for a day

before her coffin was on its way to the airport,

under pressure from the family, and in the name of tradition.

I was only 12, and just like that, one day she was here,

and the next my mother was buried 3,000 kilometers away.

That was the darkest day of my life.

And I've never been able to forgive my dad.

I didn't just lose my mother that day.

I lost my father too.

That was the last time I can remember hugging him.

From then on,

my dad and me, everything was fucked.

It's been years since all of that,

and I have to admit that my dad was right about one thing.

People are definitely still dying.

But it also never made him rich.

Put this over there?

After my mom died, my sister took over for her.

Out of everyone in the family,

she's the one with the most common sense.

If it hadn't been for her, the empire, as my father liked to call the business,

would have failed a long time ago.

But I wonder how she keeps doing it surrounded by so many hypocrites.

- We'll take care of everything for you. - Because if I'm honest,

funeral directors are the biggest charlatans of all.

Look, the first time you bury a client,

I can see how you would genuinely sympathize.

But when you make a living off people dying,

you start to think about what you've got in your pocket.

It's always the best who leave first.

Exalted be He.

Like this one here, Rachid, my brother-in-law.

He's a decent guy, but he's kind of a drama queen.

Can you have Omar call me before he comes for the body?

Mm... No. It'll be me and Nadia.

- Okay. - Today will be Omar's last day, inshallah.

Will you let me know when?

Yes, and we'll still be going by the name Insurance Omar, but I'm taking over.

And all that will change is I, Rachid, will modernize this business.

And eventually I'll open a second, and then we'll do a third.

- That's great. - And then a whole franchise

called Insurance Rachid.

We'll be like the McDonald's of repatriations.

- It's great, right? - Inshallah.

Of course it'll be.

- So, salaam alaikum. - Salaam alaikum.

And if anything happens to your parents, they're ill, you think of me.

Salaam alaikum. Bye now.

My father and sister keep saying

I don't know what I want to do with my life.

But that wasn't the truth at all.

- I knew exactly what I wanted to do. -

I wanted to get rich without working too hard.

I share this ambition with my best friend, Jean-Baptiste.

JB to his friends.

JB. Dude, make sure you're there on time, or I'll look like an asshat.

We're gonna make that money, bro, that Kanye money.

- Dance. - Dance?

- -

- Stop. -

This is the last time we'll be poor when we dance, you hear me?

All right, just be there, homie. Pizza, anchovies and what?

Calzone like my mama makes.

That's right, fool. Let's go!

- -

- - Check it out!

We wanna know who put that gear on.

- Mr. Bouslamoum? - Uh, Boulasmoum.

Follow me.

Today is your lucky day. Check it.

Let's say you're in 2,000 B.C.

You're a bank man, and I come in with this invention.

Knife and fork.

Huh? You would give me the money right away.

That would've been investing wisely.

- Did someone order a pizza here? - Yes, here.

- Here you go. - Here's the cash.

- Ah, thank you. - You keep the change.

- Thank you, man. - Are you hungry? Have you eaten?

Come on, man, have some. Oh no, they didn't cut it up.

You know what? That's okay. I'm prepared for anything, my friend.

Check this out.

Visionary.

Voila!

It's 2,000 A.D. and I present to you the amazing pizza scissors.

That's why you want 100,000 euros?

Yes.

Uh, so the plan is to create 10,000 units, and the rest is for promoting.

Cha-cha-cha!

You know what's gonna happen if I give you that, right?

I'll get rich just like Donald Trump.

I think that within six months, you'll be back at Pizza Hut.

And the only difference will be the 9,995 pizza scissors in your garage,

and that over the next ten years, you'll owe use half your wages.

- You're not feeling it? - No.

But you can always come back with a better idea, Ismael.

You know what, bro?

All you fuckin' banks were in the shit.

You needed us, and we paid out of our asses.

And now we ask for just one thing in return,

and it's too fuckin' much?

And, so you know, it's Boulasmoum.

Remember it.

He won't give us anything.

Yo, yo, yo! What are you doing? Dude!

No pizza scissors, no pizza.

Dickbag.

I'm over this shit, dude.

We've tried a million things, and we're getting nowhere.

And those goddamn pizza scissors, man, what a dumb idea.

Hey.

Hey, bro.

Those pizza scissors were lit. That douche nozzle was sleeping.

Come on, bro. Hey, hey.

Hey, hey. Wait, wait, wait. I mean it.

This idea was, for sure, my best yet, for real.

This is the butter stick.

Once it catches on, we can do a chocolate stick,

a jam stick, and a peanut butter stick.

This is a shaving tent.

All the colors are wrong, but seriously, everyone is gonna want one of these, dude.

Ha-ha! The steering wheel desk.

You can drive and work, bro.

A zoom call here, an email there,

all while driving.

Hell yeah! And for 50 euros.

What do you think?

We're still no closer, and we put every last cent into this one.

Dude, remember Tupac. "Keep your head up."

Hey.

Next time we go to the bank, I'm bringing an AK.

I'm gonna shower.

Shit, look at this mess.

Come on, Mario.

Mario.

Are you aware that there's a leak?

Nah, the whole family's there, bro.

Oh, I get it. That's why you want me there.

Nah, it's just with you there,

it'll be easy to bounce, if my father's there.

- Your father? - Yeah.

- Seriously? Oy, yo. -

- Your father, for real? - Yeah, man.

Motherfuck.

- Yo, for real, though? - Yeah!

Your father, really? Are you stressed?

- - It's okay, bro, tell me.

Your father just might explode.

He just wants to see us before his Mecca trip, okay?

We'll be there a few minutes, then we'll leave.

You really should go to Mecca.

- Set you on the right path. - Ah, man, come on.

- - Are the girls here?

- Uh... - What do you want? Seriously, what?

Uh, I... I specifically said not to shower.

- Smile, it's for you. - Who is it?

- Your girlfriend. - Hey.

- The entire... The entire... - What is it? What?

The entire fitness center is underwater.

I explained no showers.

Then make it a swimming pool, Mario. Jeez!

Oh, so it wasn't fixed by the tape you put up?

I've told you several times,

if you want to shower, you're welcome to wash in the gym.