Royal Pains

.

- Previously on "Royal Pains"...

- I got big news. I'm getting married!

That's a little sudden, no?

- Yeah, and yet, it can't come soon enough.

- We have a problem. - What?

- Dad-- he's not coming.

I guess you were right to have doubted him, after all.

- Hank hasn't heard from him either?

Are you going to reach out?

- No, not this time. The ball's in Eddie's court.

- Hank, I want to apply to medical school.

- Divya, it's the admissions office from Johns Hopkins.

I'm wait-listed.

Is it true?

- The doctor called this afternoon,

and if all goes well,

we could be pregnant by the end of the month.

Really?

Thanks.

Thank you.

You got to be kidding me.

- Oh. You're here. - Yes, I am.

- Oh. Today's the day.

- Well, Paige and I were keeping her egg retrieval private,

given the expectations, but, yeah, today's the day.

- Okay. - Why are you here?

- Your office said you were in the male room,

which I assumed is a room where mail is delivered,

not where that gets delivered.

Yeah, well...

What's wrong? - What?

- You look like something's wrong.

Did you have to euthanize the Saab?

Or is your dream house sold already or both?

- No, and, no. The Saab is fine.

Oh, she will be once her radiator's stabilized.

And I'm looking at the house after work today.

But I need to borrow your car. - Yeah.

- We don't have to get into why. - Sure.

When you say, "We don't have to get into why,"

I really start wondering why.

Yeah, just give me the keys.

It's nothing for you to worry about, especially today.

- Okay, now you're freaking me out.

What the heck's going on? -

I found out that Dad had heart surgery.

Five days ago, he underwent

a transcatheter aortic valve replacement.

I'm not a doctor.

- It's a repair of his stenosis. - Henry?

- His heart valve wasn't working.

- Is he okay? - I think so.

I mean, it's not like it was open-heart or anything,

and he was discharged, which means he's fine,

but I'm going to Passaic to try to find him.

Passaic?

Wait. How did you find out about all of this?

- Um, I hired a PI to look for him.

And get this, she found him under the family name Roth,

when he used his health insurance.

- So I thought we were keeping the ball

in Eddie's court this time.

- Yeah, that's how you felt, and I get it,

but I felt differently.

So you went behind my back?

- Look, this just didn't feel like dad's other disappearances.

Before, he was always escaping from trouble.

This time-- - I don't care why.

- Do you have something for me?

- Oh, yeah. It's this. That's my, uh...

Evan R. Lawson. Handle with care.

You know what, Henry? Do whatever you want.

- Look, don't think about this, okay?

You got a big day. I'll let you know what I find out.

Don't bother.

You're right, Paige and I don't need the extra stress right now.

¶ ¶

May I help you?

- Yes. Hi. I'm Dr. Hank Lawson.

A patient of mine, Edward Roth,

recently had a valve replacement.

I wanted to pick up his records.

Roth. Roth.

Oh, yeah, Eddie. Sweet guy.

Yeah, he is.

- He sent a copy of his book to the doctor.

That's him.

- Wow. The Hamptons. Nice there?

Very nice, yeah.

- Never been. Is it better than down the Shore?

- It's, uh, different. - Huh.

So what brings you all the way to Passaic, Dr. Lawson?

- Oh, actually, I grew up here. - Oh.

- Still have ties. - Mm.

- Okay, look, I can't do this.

He's not my patient. He's my dad.

We're not in contact, and I'm worried about him.

Can you help me out?

- Are you really Dr. Hank Lawson?

- Yes, yes, I am. I promise.

Then it's not an issue.

He listed you as his emergency contact.

He did?

- He wrote, "in case something goes wrong,"

and signed the release.

So, even though nothing did go wrong,

I can email it to you.

- Great. Great. Thank you.

Did he leave an address?

- A PO box. - Oh.

- He has a follow-up appointment in a week.

Yeah, if he keeps it.

- The doctor doesn't read much.

He asked me to recycle it.

Oh.

It's not too far.

Do you need directions? - No, I know the way.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Dad?

What are you doing here? - I'm dying.

- Dad, are you having chest pain, trouble breathing?

No, just my stomach.

- Okay, what about your groin where they put in the catheter?

- No, no, no, no, no. No, my stomach.

- Okay. Let me feel. I'm not gonna hurt you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What happened to the part where you're not going to hurt me?

- Yeah, Dad, your bladder is severely distended.

When's the last time you peed?

- I don't know. Maybe yesterday.

The day before that was every five minutes.

Okay, and did it burn?

- Uh-huh. Like the Cuyahoga River.

Hank, I feel like I'm going to explode.

- Yeah, you're burning up. Okay, stay here.

- What am I going to do-- shoot hoops?

Okay.

Hurry up.

Oh.

¶ ¶

.

Okay, ambulance is on the way.

I'm not sure we can wait that long.

Because?

- Because I think your bladder's about to rupture.

Post-op urinary retention is normal,

but you're running a fever.

You had a Foley catheter, right?

Mm-hmm.

- Okay, I think it gave you prostatitis--

an infected prostate that's swollen so badly,

it's obstructing your bladder, and if your bladder bursts...

I die.

- Well, at the very least, you'd expose all your abdominal organs

to infection, and you don't want that.

- No, no, no, Hank, it hurts.

Okay. Okay.

- It hurts. Hank, it hurts.

I know. I know.

And in we go.

- That hurts. - Yep, yep, okay.

- Oh. - It's about to feel better.

And I'm removing the needle. That's it.

Okay.

And...

there we go.

There we go.

- -

Whew. - Thank you, Hank.

- You're welcome. - Oh, you know...

What?

- It's always been your brother that's taken the piss out of me.

Watch your shoes.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

So...

we have retrieved 14 eggs from you, Mrs. Lawson--

healthy and perfect in every way.

- Oh, that's wonderful. - Oh, my God.

Indeed.

The laboratory must separate them

from their follicular fluids and prepare them for fertilization.

- That's gr-- And what about my, uh, stuff?

- Your semen is substandard. - Yeah, I know.

- But if we are able to salvage a few healthy gametes,

we will proceed

with the intracytoplasmic sperm injection.

- ICSI. - Right, ICSI.

Uh, and if that works, we get--

Blastocysts...

then embryos.

- Sorry.

Has anyone ever told you you remind them of a Bond villain?

Like--

- Dr. Gruber, um, would it be possible for us

to actually watch the procedure?

No.