Sweetpea

- Farrar. - Yes, ma'am?

I just got Jackson Pollock'd.

Suspect opened...

People I'd love to kill...

Don't suppose you could pop into Next

And buy me a top on your way in?

The Di, for calling me at inappropriate times,

Asking me to do inappropriate things.

No man-made fibres, ma'am.

My landlady,

for having a bath.

Every fucking morning.

Mrs Wheeler.

- Um, the water was cold again. - Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.

Perhaps you should try waking up a touch earlier?

Ensure you get some.

Whoever let these jokers join the police.

Then I took a video, 'cause I thought

I'm probably first on the scene.

Make sure you get DNA evidence. That's how they...

Witnesses who've listened to

Too many true crime podcasts.

Cause of death looks like loads of stabbing.

And, of course, people who think

They can actually kill people...

and get away with it.

What the fuck? This is actually a kidnapping!

You're doing a kidnapping!

Well, it was meant to be a murder,

But once again,

You have to go and ruin everything.

Rhiannon, please.

Rhi... You're clearly going through something

'Cause of your dad.

So why don't I get out of your hair

And you can call The Samaritans, or something.

Are you taking the piss?

- We were kids! It was a joke! - A joke?

You bullied me

Until I started pulling my hair out.

That was years ago, Rhiannon.

We're adults now. You need to get over it.

It's not healthy, being so stuck in the past.

I wore a wig...

Until I was 23.

- Rhiannon... - I'm stuck here...

Because of you. You did this.

You made me feel fucking invisible, Julia.

And I stayed in this town, in this house, because of you

And now you're trying to take that away from me too.

I don't care about your shit life!

You're fucking done, Julia.

This is just like you, Rhi.

- Stop it. - Stop what?

I'm not the one playing out some dramatic kidnap fantasy.

You're a murderer now? A serial killer?

Fuck off.

Actually, to be a serial killer,

You have to have killed three people

And I've only killed two.

- So... - This is weird, Rhiannon.

Why you so fucking weird?

You're not a victim.

You're a fucking loser who blames everyone else

For your shit life.

Fuck!

You just can't stand that my life is actually good

And you have nothing!

Killing me won't change that. Wait!

I'll deal with you later.

I'm not a loser.

Fucking hell. State of me.

Fuck off. That's three times a week.

- Get your shit together. - Craig, I need to speak to you.

Oh, Rhiannon. Hi.

- Fuckin'... What you doing? - Now!

Ooh.

You in trouble?

- Look, about last night... - What about it?

You flirting with Julia,

Or you helping to sell my house out

From under me?

I had no idea

That you didn't know about the house.

Who said you could put your shirt back on?

Sit.

Whoa.

Do you like Julia?

Ow!

Shut up.

My fucking God.

Look at me.

Wha... Rhi.

Fuck.

- You're so fucking hot. - Shh.

Look at me. Look at me.

Look at me. Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me. Look at me.

Look at me.

Rhi, that was magical.

Yeah.

I actually feel quite emotional.

Oh, fuck.

When can I see you again?

When I say you can.

All right.

Please leave your message after the beep.

Hi, Seren, it's me.

Just wondering when you were gonna tell me

That you'd agreed an offer with Julia to buy Dad's house?

If you could stop pretending that I don't exist,

That would be great.

Thanks.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?

Morning!

Morning.

Oof! Ooh.

Just working on the old dexterity.

- Got a bit of a weak grip. - I've got a scoop for you.

People tend not to say "scoop" in the real world, Sweetpea.

They say "lead" or "exclusive".

It's about the murders.

- Jeff! - I'm not telling you what it is

Unless you promote me. Junior Reporter. Like AJ.

What's going on?

She wants to be a Junior Reporter.

We both know I deserve it.

Well, I'm not sure we are there just yet, Sweetpea...

You would never have gotten the real Ryan story without me.

You know that. I know you'll love this one.

It's bigger than a double murder,

And The Telegram haven't got a whiff of it yet.

We don't need two Junior Reporters, Norman.

One's bad enough.

Trial period.

- Probationary. Okay? - What?

This is blatant box ticking!

I mean, people wonder why white men are so depressed.

- I'm sorry... - If it makes you that sad, Jeff,

You can take a personal day.

Ah, ah, ah!

Not so fast. Story first.

Missing woman.

Think she could be our third victim.

Come off it! That's such a tenuous link,

And if it was a missing person, I'd know about it.

I know people. Police people.

So, yeah. I'd know about it.

Not if the police don't know about it yet.

Who's your source?

Yeah, good one, Jeff.

You go write it.

Junior Reporter.

Norman, can we just talk about it?

Yes.

Should you be doing that? You're a reporter now.

I hope it's doesn't end up being one of those like,

Hunger Games-type scenario where you and I have to fight

To the death in a bid to survive.

Ah, you'll be all right.

Heard there's a job going on reception now, so...

I'm happy for you.

Thanks.

You really wanted this.

Got that vibe the first time we met.

And there's something about you.

Anyway, um... the second murder victim,

Bit of a tosser apparently.

Local landlord.

Uh, two-bed flats with like, 18 people living in them.

Evicted a single mum and her newborn,

So he could exploit a load of immigrants.

I'm thinking we have... like a vigilante on our hands.

Like a kind of murder-y Robin Hood, kind of thing.

You do? That's...

That's a pretty cool take.

Do you... do you think it's any good?

I mean, if it's true, then yeah, I think it's cool.

Cool. Well, maybe I'll... pitch it to Norman.

Hmm. Maybe I'll get you a third murder victim.

What?

'Cause I, uh... I-I think I found one.

Yeah. I'll... I'll let you know.

Okay.

Um...

Quiz at The Bell later?

- Yeah, sure. - Oh, it's on me.

And yeah, I'll just do the rest of these.

It's good practice.

For... reception.

Yeah, boo, paperwork. Just chuck it in the bin.

Yeah, it's just so many dead ends

To work through.

Well, I can always give it to someone else

If it's too inconvenient for you?

Not at all. I love it.

Love paperwork. Love it.

It's just, I-I think it's a dead end.

Uh, DS Sagar and I spoke to everyone at the club