Doctor Who

Come on, out of the way.

Move yourself, please. Coming through.

- There! - That's it, excuse me, sir.

Madame Vastra, thank God.

I'll wager you've not seen anything like this before!

Well...

not since I was a little girl.

- Big fellow, isn't he? - Dinosaurs were mostly this size.

I do believe it's a "she".

- No, they weren't, I've seen fossils. - I was there.

Well, that's all well and good

but what's this dinosaur fellow doing in the Thames?

It must have time-travelled. Jenny?

Time-travelled?

Is it choking?

There seems to be something lodged in its throat.

Well, how could it time-travel?

I don't know. Perhaps it was something it ate.

Stand back. Stand back, stand back.

Well, it's just laid an egg.

It dropped a blue box marked "Police" out of its mouth.

Your grasp of biology troubles me.

- It's the Tardis. - It would seem so.

We'll take care of this, Inspector.

But what if that thing goes on the rampage?

Place these lanterns on the shore line and bridges,

encircling the creature...

twenty foot intervals.

What will they do?

They will emit a signal that will incline it

to remain within their circumference.

Jenny, Strax! With me.

So it's him, then? The Doctor.

A giant dinosaur from the distant past

has just vomited a blue box from outer space.

This is not a day for jumping to conclusions.

Strax, if you wouldn't mind?

Hello?

Exit the box and surrender to the glory of the Sontaran Empire!

Shush.

Doctor?

I was being chased by a giant dinosaur

but I think I managed to give it the slip.

Sleepy?

Sir?

Bashful? Sneezy? Dopey?

Grumpy!

Oh, you two.

The green one and the not-green one.

Or it could be the other way round, I mustn't pre-judge.

Oh, you remember, uh...

Thingy. The, uh...

The not... The not-me one. The asking-questions one.

Names, not my area.

Clara!

It might be Clara, it might not be. It's a lottery.

- It is Clara. - Well, I'm not ruling it out!

Oi! Big man! Shut it!

Oh! You've got a dinosaur, too!

Big woman, sorry.

Doctor, listen to me. You... You need to calm down.

- I'm not flirting, by the way. - I think something's gone wrong.

Wrong? What's gone wrong?

Have you regenerated?

I remember you!

You're Handles! You used to be a little... a little robot head

and now you... You've really let yourself go.

Reduce the frequency.

- I'm sorry? - Your sonic lanterns, turn them down.

- You're giving her a headache. - Giving who a headache?

My lady friend.

Just an expression, don't get any ideas.

But how do you know?

Come on, Clara! You know that I speak dinosaur.

He's not Clara. I'm Clara.

Well, you're very similar heights.

Maybe you should wear labels.

Why...

Why are you all doing that? Why are you all going dark?

- And wobbly, stop that. - I don't think we are.

Never mind! Everyone, take five.

What do we do?

I don't understand, who is he? Where's the Doctor?

Right here. That's him.

That's the Doctor.

Well, then. Here we go again.

It's simply misunderstand able to me.

I don't know what it is. Who invented this room?

Doctor, please, you have to lie down.

It doesn't make any sense. Look, it's only got a bed in it.

Why is there only a bed in it?

Because it's a bedroom, it's for sleeping in.

- Okay, what do you do when you're awake? - You leave the room.

So you've got a whole room for not being awake in?

But what's the point? You're just missing the room!

And don't look in that mirror, it's absolutely furious.

Doctor, please. You have to lie down, you keep passing out.

Well, off course I keep passing out, there's all these beds!

Why do you keep talking like that? What's gone wrong with your accent?

Nothing's gone wrong with her accent.

You sound the same, it's spreading.

You all sound all English,

now you've all developed a fault!

Doctor, I need your help with something.

Finally, someone who can talk properly.

I'm having difficulty sleeping.

Oh? Oh, well, I wouldn't bother with that, I never bother with sleep,

I just do standy-up catnaps.

Oh, really? How interesting. And when do you do those?

Well, generally whenever anyone else starts talking.

I like to skip ahead to my bits, it saves time.

Oh. Save me time, Doctor,

project an image of perfect sleep into the center of my mind.

What, you want a psychic link with me?

The size of my brain, it would be like dropping a piano on you.

Be gentle, then.

I'll try. Brace yourself.

Piano.

I love monkeys, they're so funny!

Oh, I see! So people are monkeys now, are they?

No, dear, people are apes. Men are monkeys.

- So what now? - He needs rest.

- So what do we do? How do we fix him? - Fix him?

How do we change him back?

Jenny, I will be in my chamber.

Would you be kind enough to fetch my veil?

Why? Are we expecting strangers?

It would seem there is already one here.

What have I done wrong?

- The dinosaur doesn't seem very happy. - What's wrong with it?

I don't know.

The Doctor's the one that speaks dinosaur.

Excuse me, ma'am, the wife doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Where did he get that face?

Why has it got lines on it? It's brand-new.

How can his hair be all grey? He only just got it.

It's still him, ma'am, you saw him change.

- I know. I do. I... I know that. - Good.

- It's just... - What?

Nothing.

If... If Vastra changed, if she was different,

if she wasn't the person that you liked?

I don't like her, ma'am, I love her.

And as to different, well, she's a lizard.

I am alone.

The world which shook at my feet

and the trees

and the sky have gone

and I am alone now...

Alone.

Are you translating?

The wind bites now

and the world is grey

and I am alone.

Can't see me. Doesn't see me.

Can't see me.

You can't see it? I think all of London can see it.

Boy? Madame Vastra is waiting.

- Okay, whatever. - I will convey you to her chamber.

May I take your coat?

- Not wearing a coat. - What's all that?

Clothes.

- May I take your clothes? - Probably not.

- Are you wearing a hat? - It's hair.

No, I think it's a hat, would you like me to check?

- It's not real, of course. - What is it, then?

- The government. - The government?

Yeah, up to their usual tricks.

It's a dinosaur, Alf. A real dinosaur.

I wouldn't put it past them.

You don't half talk a lot of rubbish, Alfie.

See you don't stay out too late, now.

- You know me. - Yes, I do.

It's the neck, that's what's wrong with it.

It just don't look realistic.

- You have good eyes. - I do, as it happens. Very good eyes.

They're my greatest gift.

- I accept. - What's that for?

Your gift. I have bad eyes.

And then?

- Why are you wearing your veil? - And then?

And then we got swallowed by a big dinosaur. You probably noticed.

- How did it happen? - I don't know. I don't know, we were...

crashing about everywhere.

The Doctor was gone, the Tardis went haywire.

He's not gone. He's upstairs.

- Okay, he changed. - He regenerated. Renewed himself.

Renewed, fine.

Such a cynical smile.

I'm not smiling.

Not outwardly. But I am accustomed to seeing through a veil.

How have I amused you?

You said renewed. He doesn't...

He doesn't look renewed, he looks older.

- You thought he was young? - He looked young.

He looked like your dashing young gentleman friend. Your lover, even.

- Shut up! - But he is the Doctor.

He has walked this universe for centuries untold,

he has seen stars fall to dust.

You might as well flirt with a mountain range.