Biosphere

Alright. Been working on a new take.

Alright, let's hear it.

- I'm still formulating it. - Then why did you bring it up?

Okay, fine. So let's say two dudes made the game.

Okay.

And whether they are actual brothers

or more like, you know, brothers from another mother,

soulmate-type dudes... - Like us.

- Yeah, like team, you know? - Yep.

Every team needs a mascot, and some would argue

that Mario is the maybe more attractive one.

- No, they have the same face. - No, they didn't.

Yeah, they did.

Luigi was literally the same guy.

Just a different color.

No, no, in the first one, he was,

but they eventually became their own people.

Yeah. By became their own people,

you mean they stretched out Mario to make Luigi? Sure.

Dude, whatever. It doesn't matter.

It's not the point.

Okay, then, Billy. What is your point?

I'm sorry. You got somewhere you need to be right now?

- No, man. - You busy?

I'm just on pins and needles, honestly.

The point, my friend Ray,

is that someone is still the face of the operation.

Okay, but why?

Because somebody's got to be the leader.

Or appear to be the leader.

That's fine.

Someone has to look like they are in charge.

So one brother steps into that role

and the other one kind of becomes like--

What, the sidekick?

No, man, I was gonna say, like the secret sauce.

You mean like the man behind the curtain?

Whatever, man. Same thing.

So, look, anyhow, this got me thinking

about dude relationships and maybe how these guys had,

like, a similar dynamic in real life, right?

You know, like, one of them speaks for both of them,

but in reality, behind the scenes,

the other one... - The secret sauce.

- That's right. - Gotcha.

And you know how like

when people are making something,

like, they don't realize it, they kind of put themselves,

like, in the thing? - I do. Yeah.

We reflect ourselves in the things that we do.

Exactly. So these dudes, they don't realize it, right?

But they put their relationship in the game.

And now here we are wondering like,

"Oh, why is Mario in charge?"

Alright, go ahead. - What?

I know you think it's stupid.

- I didn't say that. - Well, you don't have to.

I actually didn't say anything.

I hate it when you do that.

Do what?

Okay, look, man.

That's your whole theory?

It took you two weeks to come up with that?

I didn't say it was the whole-- It's half-baked, man.

You made me tell it to you too soon.

That's why it sounds dumb.

Because there's so much more to expound upon, right?

It's just plenteous with depths to mine?

I'm being facetious.

That means I'm kidding.

Don't-- don't-- don't do-- don't do that.

I know. - Don't do what?

- I know what that means. - Unnnnh.

Do you?

You know what?

You mispronounce the word capricious one-- one time.

One fucking time, you know.

Yeah, well, you showed them, didn't you?

- That's not funny. - It's a little funny.

It's not that funny. It hurts my feelings.

Oh, you gonna try to take me out, too?

Oh, you'll never survive without me.

- Oh, shit. - You want some of this?

Whoo! Here we go. - Oh!

- Truce! Jinx! - Truce! Jinx!

Okay. Alright. We're even now. Even now?

Oh. You know what? Just admit it.

You love my theories. You love hearing them.

Don't even flatter yourself.

You want a theory? How about this?

What if Mario goes by their surname?

Like Luigi's full name is Luigi Mario.

Wait, then what's Mario's first name?

It's "Mare-io" Mario to differentiate.

That's so dumb.

I'm gonna go jump in the shower.

- I got first shower. Unh-unh. - Alright. You can go first.

Wait, wait. Where are you going?

- I'm gonna keep running. - No, you're not.

You ain't going anywhere without me. No.

I don't want you to run without me.

Let me go, dude. I'm going to take a goddamn shower.

I'm gonna lock this shit up. No!

You are a giant man baby!

Fuck!

Oh, my God. Jesus.

Need some help?

- What? - Stream of conscious format

leaves a lot of the heavy lifting to the reader.

It's admittedly not the easiest.

No, I'm just trying to follow along

with all these freaking footnotes.

Couldn't you have stocked this place

with some more laid-back reads?

- I built it, I fill it. - You--

Well, you didn't literally build this place, right?

Yeah, but I did literally save your ass, Billy, so...

I'm just saying, throw in a couple of beach reads, man,

and not books you would read on the beach

like Hamilton or...

Frederick Douglass has got a nice one.

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Normal-people beach reads.

Aren't beach reads whatever you enjoy, man?

No, they're not. They're easy entertainment.

That's why they call them Beach reads. Okay?

You're on vacation. You don't have to work that hard.

Would you call this a vacation, Billy?

- Easy entertainment. - Yeah.

No tiny little footnotes all over the place.

And who doesn't use quotes when someone's talking?

I mean, I can never tell who's speaking.

Is it him or is it her? - There is no her.

What are you talking about?

It takes place inside of a men's prison.

Wait, wait. Hold on.

So it's two...

Did you-- did you read the words?

So when they're...

Like, um...

Well, I may have jacked off to some stuff

I didn't totally understand.

Yeah.

Speaking of which, you and I need to do a little regroup

on the rules, my friend. - What's that?

Look, I get it. Sometimes you're in bed.

You just got to take care of something real quick.

But it's hard to pretend that you don't know what's happening

when, you know, you hear the little squeaking,

squeaking coming from the bed next door.

And I'm not trying to be critical.

I'll admit I've done it.

Not in the bathroom a couple of times myself over the years.

Yeah, more than a couple times.

But how does a brilliant person such as yourself

design this place... - Oh, shit.

...and not come up with a better system?

I mean, it's not like we can put a sock on the door

in here, you know?

God. I miss college.

Fuck. I miss... sex.

Don't you?

Dude, are you even listening to me?

Are you-- What are you-- Ray--

- Yeah. - Oh, shit.

Another one? - Yeah.

What is that? Two left now? Should we be worried?

Uh... It'll be okay.

Okay, good. 'Cause on the bright side,

I'm really hoping this means we can have fish tonight.

Yes, we could.

Yes. Yes.

Which one is it, by the way?

It's, um, Sam.

- Oh, that's kind of sad. - Yeah.

Let me get dinner ready. - Yeah.

Diane, what are you gonna do without your Sam?

Guess they weren't meant to be after all, huh?

Guess not.

Now you're stuck with Woody.

Here. You want some of this?

That is all yours, my friend.

I feel bad eating Sam, but I needed this.

I really needed this. - You shouldn't feel bad.

- But it's Sam. - I know.

We've known him his whole little fishy life.

I know, but it's part of the design, right?

Yeah. Speaking of, how is the cycling

gonna keep cycling if we lose one more?

You know, are we gonna be all right?

Yeah, it'll be okay.

I can't wait for the day when you don't say "We'll be okay."

Actually, I can wait.

But you know who can't?

- We doing it? - We're doing it.

- We're doing it. - Oh, you know we're gonna do it.

It's tradition. Alright.

We are gathered here today to commemorate Sam--

Come on, man. Get it up. Reverence.

- Got it. - Thank you very much.