Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl's here, your one and only source

Into the scandalous lives of manhattan's

Elite. I've decided to take over bass industries

There is one stipulation-- that should you in any way

Act inappropriately, the board has the option

To replace you with your legal guardian,

Which--wouldn't you know it? Is me. I had enough trouble

With the idea of mom and rufus dating,

But now I share a sibling with my boyfriend?

Maybe we weren't meant to be a family.

Serena, dean berube.

I'd like to issue a press release

That you came up to visit our glorious campus.

Princeton is a trade school. There is only yale

He said that yale could really use a girl like blair waldorf.

Oh, b., I'm so happy for you.

True love and betrayal, revenge and more revenge,

A heroine with an impossible goal--

If only mozart had lived on the upper east side.

Blair bear, you'll be late!

But you can keep your magic flute, amadeus.

All this queen wants is a golden ticket to yale.

You look like a firing squad.

More like a welcoming committee. It's the big day.

It's all the color of yale. You see?

That's just what I need to perk me up. I couldn't sleep a wink.

We know. We heard you watching "gilmore girls"

All night, again.

Oh. I am so a better fit for yale than that rory.

Dorota.

Don't be sad. I'm not going anywhere for six months.

That wasn't dorota, dear.

That was handsome dan.

Look at him. Yeah, he's a gift from all of us.

Oh! He's the yale mascot, bulldog--

Oh! Just like you after today.

I don't know about the name, though.

We should just call him "handsome."

You're adorable. Yes, just don't look behind sofa.

No, you're a shoo-in, darling.

Mademoiselle. Merci.

A shoo-in.

The personal letter that I wrote to dean berube

Should simply cinch it.

We will celebrate your acceptance tonight at the oper

Withhahampag at all intermissions.

We will be so drunk. By the time someone dies, we'll just laugh.

Is chuck joining us?

You know how he loves a good tragedy. Yes. Where is mr. Chuck?

I wouldn't know, and I don't care.

He's as dead to me as his father is to him. More blueberries.

Whew! Yale day.

Good morning. Mm.

I thought we could walk to school together for support.

I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason.

You know, I'll--i'll end up in the right place,

But what if I don't get in?

Pfft. Forget you. What if I do and blair doesn't?

Fire and--and brimstone and a lot of bitchy asides,

Death by dorota. Thanks. You don't have to worry either.

Blair's a lock. The dean told her as much, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yale is good.

We're good.

Everything will be fine.

You're referring to the recent not fun event,

Uh, also known as the "you two share a brother,

Oh, wait. No, you don't" roller coaster.

Not to be outdone by the tila-whirl

Called "discovering this fact has only served

To bringing rufus and lily closer than ever."

Look, getting into yale will change our lives.

It'll give us a chance to reinvent ourselves.

Yeah. Yeah, and in the meantime,

At least our parents are keeping it on the down low.

Yeah. Rufus, stop it.

Oh, hello.

I was planning on sneaking out before anyone got up,

But lily and I got to bed so late. Oh,

You don't--you-- that's--just stop there

Right.

Well, now that this is all out in the open,

Maybe we can stop sneaking around.

I mean, we've had the awkward run-in, and it isn't so bad.

I don't know why we thought this would be so weird.

Let's leave now. Nice try, mom.

Yeah, seriously good effort.

So I was thinking, tonight--

More than four hours of sleep?

That, and there is a charity gala at the opera.

A full 12 hours then. Oh, everyone will be there.

It's the--it's the event of the season,

And I'm really feeling ready to get back to the world.

Aren't you worried about people seeing us together so soon?

The kids know. Why shouldn't the world?

And, uh, we might as well make our society debut in style.

I was just trying to get out of the opera part. I'm not a fan.

Well, you can become one tonight. Mm.

I would say, "get a room," but yours is right above mine.

Please try to remember that.

Oh, my god.

No, I told you, under 18, and I want verification.

I don't care where you have to import them from.

I want them young and unstable. You can cancel that order.

I already ate.

I'll get right back to you.

Your bush league attempts to take me down--

They're getting boring. Although, I must admit,

Having the freshman class of brearley

Hold their annual sleepover in my hotel room--

That was a nice touch. By the way, don't be alarmed,

But, uh, our stock might take a little dip today.

I'm still adjusting to a learning curve.

No, what you're doing is trying too hard

You're obviously not cut out for ehjob,b,

Which is why bart never let you out of the outback.

You should be more careful.

Or what? It's my company now, kid. You saw to that.

Will the, uh, board and I be seeing you at the opera tonight?

Even though you're no longer in charge,

You are still the public face of the company.

I think it's important you display it,

Show there's no hard feelings.

Maybe I'll show them they made the wrong choice instead.

Oh, wait. You're already doing that for me, aren't you? No matter.

We probably won't be seeing much of each other anyway.

I'll be in your father's seats,

And you'll be, well, somewhere else.

There's a new kid. That "kid" is my shakespeare teacher, miss carr.

That-that's miss carr? Does she have benjamin button syndrome?

Here. Let us help you.

It's all right. Oh, thank you, serena. It's like holding a door

Never occurred to anybody. No,

Not on the upper east side. These kids have probabl

Never touched a door in their life.

They just magically open for them, don't they

Oh, uh, this is my boyfriend, dan humphrey. Hi.

Dan, this is miss carr. She's my favorite

New teacher. Well, I've heard a lot about you

Although i-i wasn't expecting you to look so... Out of place?

No, I was gonna say "young.

" you could pass for a student. Well, I was, until recently

I've been doing teach for america

The past two years in alabama. This is my first salaried job.

I've never even been to new york before.

It's a lot different than des moines. My family is in the hotel business,

And the palace lobby is a wonderful place

To get away from the noise. Yeah, and,

You know, if you're ever in brooklyn

Uh, my dad has a gallery. There's a pretty cool ca.E.

Ooklyn--that's, uh, the place across the bridge, right

Ha ha. Yeah. You'll fit in just fine

Here. Oh, hey, don't let the city get to you

See you third period. Mm-hmm.

Nice meeting you, daniel. Nice meeting you, miss carr.

So good luck today.

You, too. May the best get in.

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

That's not my eli account. No,

It's mine. I applied to yale, too, remember

Yes, but your application was

Merely a formality to appease your overbearing parents.

You know very well

There's no way yale is going to accept someone

Who got a 2360 on her s.A.T.S,

So give up and go for the gold, my gold. Refresh.

Hey, are you going to the opera thing tonight?

Um, yeah. Serena's taking me.

Yeah? I might go, too.

You know, for a while, I couldn't take vanessa

Anywhere really nice, 'cause of the whole no money thing,

But I saw a dvd of the "ring" cycle at her house,

And I figured she might like some champagne

In my family's box. Yeah, that's good.

That's good. Don't tell her you saw that dvd

Though, 'cause i-i pointed it out once,

And she made me watch the whole thing with no subtitles. Wow.

If you've ever seen "a clockwork orange,"

You know how that ended up. Wait. What's "a clockwork orange"?

Charles, I didn't expect to see you today.

Or ever, if I had it my way.

Yes, well, I missed you, too.

I'm trying to do something.

I really wanted to do it on my own,

But that's not working.

I'm thinking you're the only person left who can help.

What do you say?

What are you guys doing? Shh. Don't talk to them. They're working.

Refresh.

My... God.

What? What is it?

Congratulations, Serena van der Woodsen. You have been accepted

I'm sorry. I...

I simply can't read it.

The font's too small. I have to check it on a real computer.

It says "wait-listed" in bold.

I got in. I did it. I got in. Oh, my gosh!

I can't believe it. Oh, did you? Um...

No. No, no. Um, I'm wait-listed, just like blair.

Well, don't worry. You'll get in.

We'll be together next fall. Even if you have to wait