Your Mother Wears Combat Boots

Morning Brenda.

Morning Remney.

Hi.

Good morning.

Hey guys.

Morning, how are you?

I'm gonna miss you, Mrs. Franklin.

Don't forget to write!

Oh, I won't.

Three miles in 28 minutes.

That's not bad, huh?

Sorry I made you wait.

No mom, take all the time you want.

I'm in no hurry to go.

- You know, when you were three months old,

I was offered $75 for you.

I shouldn't have turned that old Gypsy woman down.

Oh, that's great mom.

That's great, go ahead.

Make a big joke about it.

But you know how I feel, I don't want to go to college.

- And you know how I feel, you are going to college.

Mom ...

Look, you've taken care of me my whole life,

the tricycle when I was five, the cast on my arm

when I was seven, the trip to Washington when I was nine,

cast on my arm when I was 11, braces at 13,

the cast on my arm when I was 14--

- I sure wish you'd learn how to slide into home plate.

You didn't want my pants to get dirty.

No (chuckles).

- Look the point is, I just feel that I should start

making my own decisions and I don't think that college

is right for me, plus it is expensive.

- Look, I already have most of your first year taken care of

with the money I made from the sale of this house.

And my new job will take you straight through

to your bachelor's degree.

End of discussion.

- Yo mom, that's another thing about this new job.

I happen to think that Point Hope, Alaska

is no place for a woman.

There are 36 males to every female.

It is a perfect place for women.

And besides, I'll be making three what I'm making here.

Mom! It's North of the Arctic Circle!

I've got long underwear.

Come on Jimmy, this is my chance for excitement.

I feel like a pioneer woman, blazing new trails,

looking for adventure.

Especially with those 36 guys that have my name on them.

- Oh yeah, and they're really gonna be turned on

by a mother in long johns.