Rats

I got nothing against the canned,

but the stuff’s crap.

And the real secret-- the real secret is the cheese

You want to go out,

and you want to get yourself a good piece of parmigiano.

You don’t want to skimp on the cheese.

I mean that American crapola.

You know, that powder stuff.

You sure we’re going the right way?

I’m sure, I'm sure.

Never let them grate it, either.

You want it really soft,

fresh on the pasta.

That’s the secret.

Believe me, you want to do the right thing by the cheese.

If you’re not going to do it, forget it.

Go get a hamburger.

The parmigiano is going to make a world of difference,

and your guest is going to be blown away.

I know it’s a lot, but believe me, it’s worth it.

I’ve got to tell you, I’m actually getting a little hungry myself.

Well, fuck me.

That’s it, Maureen. That’s not even on the map.

The map sucks. It was run up by retards in 1919.

I’m calling in. Wait, wait, wait.

Just try it. It’s not even on the map.

Fine. You’re such a wuss.

Bingo. See? I told you.

Here’s the main. Let’s follow it to the valve station

and get the hell out of here.

It’s not on the map. Forget about the fucking map.

If that’s main 3,

the valve station’s got to be right past this door.

Why did they block it off?

Whatever, let’s just-- let’s go out

and we’ll find another way, all right?

I say we just bust it down.

Are you nuts?

Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?

Knock yourself out, big boy.

I’m going to go find another way.

Yeah, thanks a lot, pal.

That’s the one.

Your mother’s ass.

What the fuck is this?

Kevin, let’s go. I found it!

Kevin!

Where the fuck are you?

Oh! Oh, God!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Ah! Ah!

Watch your head.

Do you guys have a court order?

You can’t just drop her here without papers.

This is a private institution.

It’s all in order.

Lenny!

Yeah? Could you get down here, please?

Okay. Let’s go.

It’s Samantha, right?

Samantha Klein? Yeah.

I’m fine now.

Really.

Welcome to Brookdale, Samantha.

I’m Matilda Briggs, head nurse.

And this is Lenny and we’re going to take very good care of you here.

After you.

Ernst, Buzz barfed in the art room again.

I’ll clean it up. No problem.

Hey, Alvin!

You got a new one.

Ain’t she pretty?

Come on.

This way.

Cameron’s feature's a little shaky, don’t you think?

How’s your story going? Working on it.

The administrators at Brookdale are all pretty tight-lipped.

Michael, I hope I don’t have to remind you.

You’re walking on thin ice.

The challenge of doing a story

about the privatization of a state mental health hospital

is that, well, it’s private.

This Modern Care corporation, it’s messy.

I can’t believe they're getting into the drug rehab business.

Jack, police just found a missing utility workers truck.

Still no sign of the two sewer workers.

Get me the copy by 9:00. Got it.

All right, listen, we’re not going to have this one forever.

So can you get on it? Relax.

Hmm. Samantha, I am Dr. William Winslow.

I’ll be overseeing your care while you’re here.

Please let me go. I can’t-- I can't be here.

You’re here under court order,

so I’m afraid that’ll be impossible.

But I think you’ll find

that this place has a great deal of help to offer

if, indeed, you’re willing to be helped.

I don’t need help.

You, uh,

drank a bottle of tequila.

You, uh, tried to commit suicide

in a dance club bathroom.

That’s not what I meant to do.

It wasn’t serious.

To me, that’s someone who is screaming out to be helped.

Right. Uh, Lenny, she’ll be in 201B with Rose.

Samantha, shall we take that walk

down the road to recovery?

We work on a point system here.

The more points you accumulate, the greater your privileges.

We run a tight ship, but we’re not unreasonable.

I don’t want to be here.

Give me your coat.

Well-- Give me your coat.

I know this is hard, Samantha,

but we are going to help you.

Take a seat.

We’re going to have to

give you a mild sedative

to help calm you down.

W-- why? I’m totally-- I'm calm now.

It would be much easier if you would cooperate.

After all, you do need your rest.

No, no, no, no, not a needle.

No, please-- could you give me a pill or something please?

I’m really scared of needles. Please-- no--

Ow-- ow-- ow--

You know, this may sound ridiculous right now,

but try to look upon your time here as a luxury.

I mean, after all,

how often in life can we say we have nothing to worry about?

No jobs, no bills,

nothing to worry about but working on ourselves.

Come on. Come on.

Everything will be all right.

You’ll see.

Okay. Just lie back and rest.

They’re watching us.

Aha.

Hi. Could you get Ernst down here?

There’s a mess in my office that needs cleaning up.

Thank you.

Oh, God. Oh.

They sure doped your ass up. Uh-huh.

Hey, I’m Samantha.

I don’t give a fuck.

This is my room, okay?

You must be Rose.

See this mark?

From here to the door is an invisible line.

Come over on my side, and I kick your ass.

You look like the type of bitch

who always has her nose where it doesn’t belong.

So what was it?

Coke? Booze?

Did you try to kill yourself?

Okay. Fuck you.

Where the fuck are you going?

I’m not done yet.

Why don’t you stay on your side of the line?

Hey.

We didn’t really get a chance to meet earlier.

I’m Samantha.

Can I, uh, bum one of those?

She’s suicidal.

And anyway, she doesn’t talk. Oh, no, she talked to me earlier.

I doubt it. No, really.

She was telling me that-- Why don’t you come over here and sit by me, sugar?

What’s your name? I'm Naomi.

Samantha.

I just got here.

I can tell.

Oh my God. What happened to your arm?

I just gave myself a little rush.

Hey, come on. Give me that and get out of here.

You don’t have smoking privs yet.

Wardens on the floor until you earn some points.

Now go to the lounge.

How many cigarettes have you had today?

Not nearly enough.

No.

No, I’m-- I'm-- I’m--

I’m-- n-- no.

Uh-- what?

Good night, Samantha.

Oh. No.