Doc Martin

Martin, I'm -- I'm just so sorry.

- -

Colonel.

Ellingham.

I was just mending the chicken coop,

and I Went over on my ankle.

I see. And you'd call that an emergency, would you'?

Didn't say it was an emergency, Martin.

I just asked you to look at it.

You're sweating.

I had to walk here.

My car's still in the garage.

Fresh air will do you good.

Well, there's nothing broken. It's just sprained.

But you will need to rest it.

- I said keep off it. -Ohhhh!

Ah. Ellingham.

Ah, yeah.

Hi, Joanie.

10:30. Time for a cuppa.

Well, I would get up, but apparently I'm an invalid.

- -Is that loaded?

Oh, don't worry, old man. I'm a professional.

It's for protection.

Uh, not for me, you understand.

For the choughs.

Who are the chuffs'?

Well, they're birds, old man.

- Oh. Extremely rare birds.

And they're nesting on the cliffs

for the first time for many years.

Luckily, word hasn't spread.

It's still on a need-to-know basis.

We don't want a bunch of gawpers disturbing the nesting site.

I thought that shooting bird Watchers

was generally frowned upon.

Oh, wise up, man.

Rare birds' eggs are Worth a fortune on the black market.

What's that, then?

Uh...nothing.

- Bert'? -Oh. Almost done.

I just got to get a new part. I'll be back in an hour.

Why haven't you finished it'? You've been here over a week.

Well, you can't rush it.

I mean, do you want a proper job or a job done quickly?

I'm beginning to wonder if you're capable of doing either.

Oh, grumpy grumps.

That was close.

Now, you keep this info about the birds on the Q.T.,

uh, Ellingham.

Doctor-patient confidentiality. You understand?

The birds aren't my patients.

Who's he going to tell, anyway?

Well, a couple of warning shots across his bow

should do the trick.

Like Robert Finn.

Well, uh, that was an accident.

- You shot him in the back. -Yeah, b-but it was dark.

And anyway, I --

L, uh -- I thought he...

I-I...

I thought he was a wild boar!

Well, it wasn't permanent.

Can't think What the fuss is all about. What?

Oh, that's reassuring.

Well, I'd love to stay and chat,

but I have a long walk ahead of me.

Auntie Joan, in future, unless it is a real emerg--

My God!

You've killed her!

Auntie Joan?

You bloody, bloody fool!

Why, I-l didn't do it on purpose.

It wasn't my fault. This one's entirely down to you.

Well, I'm not the one who left a loaded gun lying around!

Perfectly safe in my hands.

Oh, I'm so sorry. ls my bleeding bothering you'?

That'd be because of the gunshot wound.

It's just a few pellets. The bulk of it missed you.

It's all right, dear.

He -- He -- He just winged you, Joanie.

Well, I think we've all learned a lesson

about carrying around loaded guns.

Yes -- Keep them away from you!

Oh'?

Spanner slipped.

Mixer seized up again. Got blood all over the bakery.

- Bet that hurts. -The doc busy'?

He's on a house call. He'll be back in a minute.

Have a seat and try not to bleed.

Like a doughnut'?

They're not mine.

Supermarkets are gonna do me in.

And I'm not exactly getting rich standing around here

waiting for the doc.

Calm down. It's just a doughnut.

You -- You'll be all right, Joanie, dear.

Yes, yes. I'll be fine.

If it's all the same to you, I, uh --

I think we should keep this whole thing to ourselves, hmm'?

I mean, t-there's no point in anybody getting a, uh --

a reputation for this kind of thing.

- -Gilbert, leave it.

Ah, yes. Well, all right.

There's -- There's no point in lugging it around.

I'll -- I'll, um -- I'll pick it up tomorrow, huh'?

Uh, goodbye, Joanie, dear.

Goodbye.

Right. I'll, uh, check in on you tomorrow.

There'll be some bruising and tenderness.

But, uh, you'll be fine.

Apology accepted.

Can I trust you to take that thing with you

and drop it off with PC. Mylovv'?

No, I --

I don't want Gilbert stalking the cliffs with it.

No. No, I suppose not.

Um, how do you find the safety switch on this'?

I'd feel much happier if you weren't playing around with it.

I'm not playing around with it. I'm just trying...

Fine. I'll give it to Mylovv.

And mind you don't shoot anybody on the Way home.

Yes.

Third time the mixer's gone down this week.

Can't afford to buy a new one.

The doc gonna be back soon'?

Just don't fancy bleeding to death, that's all.

He should have been here by now.

I'll take care of it.

Come this way, please.

Are you sure'?

Shush.

If you'd like to sit down there.

I might just wait.

It's fine. I don't need the doc.

I'm his loco.

As long as you know what you're doing.

There is nothing to worry about.

I'm almost a trained nurse.

Well, in three years or so.

If a university accepts me.

Mmh.

I really don't think you should be doing this.

- I've worked here for ages. -

- I'm a medical professional. -

Aah! Ooh!

What the hell's going on'?

I knew he wouldn't like it.

It's a superficial laceration.

No, it isn't.

Pauline, you don't acquire medical knowledge

simply by sitting in the next room to a doctor.

Couldn't go off by accident or anything, could it'?

No. Course not.

Call, uh, PC. Mylovv, would you, and have him come and get it.

Mark's on his honeymoon.

Hawaii. Alone.

How depressing.

Could you get a move on, Doc'? I need to get back to the shop.

All right. Hold that.

Aah! Oh!

Oh, God.

Stop whining.

You're not hemorrhaging. Your life isn't in danger.

You have a minor wound.

- Ohh. -Shush.

Can I help you'?

Your doctor has a unique Way of dealing with his patients.

Don't you agree'?

Do you have an appointment?

I'm here to see the doctor on a private matter.

You'll still need to make an appointment.

Uh, I'll come back later.

So...

Right, then.

Something bothering you, Bert?

Oh, no. No.

These birds...

- Which birds? -Chough birds.

They're valuable, aren't they?

Oh, I wouldn't know about that, Bert.

I'm gonna feed the chickens.

Right.

The hardest bit was Writing something about myself.

I had to sum myself up in a paragraph.

Do you think three pages is too long for a paragraph?

It's gonna be weird, you not being here.

They have this great invention called a phone, you know?

Yeah, I know, but...

Well, be a little different, Won't it'?

Maybe I Won't even get accepted.

Nah. Of course you will.

You got your GCSEs, didn't you'?

Like metalwork and woodwork and P.E.

Don't mess with me, Al Large.

Want me to post it for you'? I go right past the postbox.

Thank you.

Yeah? See you later.

Oh, Doc!

Mrs. Tishell, I was just --