The Japanese Belly Button (日本人のへそ)

SUGAWA PRODUCTIONS & ART THEATRE GUILD PRESENT

THE JAPANESE BELLY BUTTON

MAKO MIDORI / AKIHIRO MIWA / NABE OSAMI / HOSEI KOMATSU

GAJIRO SATO / NOBORU MITANI / DAIGO KUSANO

TERUMI AZUMA / HIROKO TAKITA etc...

HISASHI INOUE (original work) / EIZO SUGAWA (director) KOICHI HATTORI (music) / YOSHIO SHIRASAKA (script)

Belly-button! Belly-button! Belly-button!

Belly-button! Belly-button! Belly-button!

"Once upon a time...

there was a land called Katakana.*

*"Katakana" is the Japanese alphabet.

King A-I-U-E-O passed away,

leaving behind a young prince."

"The evil cabinet minister, Lord Ka-ki-ku-ke-ko

plotted to kill the young prince, and take the throne."

"Having known of the plan, the celebrated Priest Sa-shi-su-se-so

whisked the prince away to Ta-chi-tsu-te-to Island."

"On Ta-chi-tsu-te-to Island was a wide open field named Na-ni-nu-ne-no,

and the white-haired mountain wizards that lived there

taught the prince the magic spell Ha-hi-hu-he-ho."

Adult bed-wetting, baldness, body odor,

chubbiness, buckteeth, and dysphemia - in other words, stuttering -

none of these are illnesses that hinder our existence.

However, they do hinder our sense of dignity.

Above all, stuttering, being an impediment of speech,

inflicts a trachoma - in other words, a deep wound - on our mental well being.

Only words are what we rely on to separate us from animals.

Though there may be bald-headed and bed-wetting animals,

there are no non-human beings that suffer from stuttering.

I have met countless people whose sense of self-respect and vanity

or worse, their sense of self, have been wounded by stuttering.

Having been determined since long ago to fight against stuttering,

as assistant professor in the speech pathology department at Ioha State University,

I did research on dysphemia treatment for 10 years, before returning to my alma mater Tokyo University.

So - let's take a look at some results of my research.

Basically, the less you speak like yourself, the less you stutter.

For example, though it occurs when speaking Japanese, it doesn't with French or English.

In addition, no matter the severity of the stutter,

when singing short traditional ditties, the stutter itself disappears -

indeed, a skilled level of singing is achieved.

I suspect you can understand what I'm getting at.

By giving patients dialogue, placing them on a stage, and making them sing, stuttering can be cured.

Each of these patients have put together a sequential play based on how they came to be a stutterer,

which will then be performed by all members.

I call this treatment the "Ioha Method Dyspehmia Therapy".

"With the magic spell Ha-hi-hu-he-ho,

the prince defeated the evil Lord Ka-ki-ku-ke-ko, and imprisoned him

in the prison Ra-ri-ru-re-ro."

"Taking upon the name King Wa-i-u-e-ou,

and promptly gave an enthronement ceremony."

"The people all rejoiced, and the trumpets... the trump...trump..trump..."

Thankfully, a friend of mine approved of my experiment, and lent me this small theatre.

Before the play starts, I will explain how the patients came to become stutterers,

as according to their medical records.

Office worker, 38 years old.

Headlong into the elite course - Tokyo University, then Benimaru Commerical Affairs;

yet a life riddled with pitfalls.

During the recent peanut - sorry, donut - incident,

he was taken in as a witness, only to say "I don't know;

I have no memory of it" -

this in turn inflicted a severe mental shock, which led to planned, but failed, suicide.

Veering away from his successful career, he was alienated by his company,

at which time, the stuttering began.

In the production, he plays a Yakuza gangster. Next!

The head of the Patriotic Youth Action Committee. 50 years old.

A fervent follower of the Emperor.

Stutter resulting from psychological shock from the Emperor's self-denouncement in 1946.

The cause: the unbroken Imperial line of living gods suddenly became human.

In the production, he plays the owner of a strip club, as well as a choreographer.

Next.

Professional baseball referee. 32 years old.

His baseball-mad father, who said, "Right-handed pitching is more advantageous than Southpaw...

It's the o-o-o-other way around. Opposite.

Ah, sorry.

His baseball-maniac father, who said, "Left-handed is more advantageous than right-handed pitching",

forcibly changed his right-handedness into left-handedness,

which left him with a brief stutter

before it quickly healed.

Scouted by Chunichi Dragons in high school as a fastball pitcher, and spent 3 years as second string.

All up, 1 win and 18 losses,

and a defense rate of 17 - 25;

a miserable set of results.

Fired from the team.

Unable to give up baseball completely, became referee for Central League.

Debuted as a second-base referee at the season opener in 1973.

Second half of the first inning. First base runner tries to take second, fails.

Going to give the "Out!" signal, he hesitates - "Should I raise my right hand, or left hand?"

He ends up raising his right hand, but his voice goes:

"O-O...Out..!"

Since then, whenever he gives right-handed signals - "out", "strike", "ball" - he stutters.

In the production, he plays the role of a strip club comedian and a gangster boss.

Next.

Parliamentarian of the Japanese Communist Party.

As a result of a pre-war lynching incident...

Oops, sorry!

Why is this all mixed up in here?

National Railway employee, ticket barrier officer at Ryogoku Station. 43 years old.

Father to three girls, however they -- zipper.

All within the space of 1 month, the three girls consecutively came down with autotoxemia,

intussusception, congenital megacolon, and other serious illnesses,

which led to his severe neurosis. Hitting financial rock-bottom,

he began to pilfer the 80 yen fare charged for extended trips at the ticket barrier,

which led to a stutter whenever he said "80 yen";

however, embarassed by his stutter, he instead began to say "70 yen",

which meant a loss of 10 yen - in other words, an extra 10-yen wage reimbursement.

Already as poor as he could be, even small amounts of 10 yen proved lucrative when piled up.

You look ill.

Have you eaten today?

Cup noodles.

And yesterday?

Instant ramen.

Day before yesterday?

Hamburger at McDonald's...

In the production, he plays a comedian at the strip club.

OK, next!

Former female singer.

She's late again?!

Are you seriously intent on being a part of this corrective play?

S-s-sorry...

Everyone's here already.

I wonder if your bad luck in show business didn't have something to do with your lateness too.

- I-I-I r-really... - Nevermind.

Former female singer.

PEANUTS IN THE SHOW BUSINESS WORLD TOO!

With false promises of making her a star, a no-good production manager

tricked the girl's father, a rich land owner, into selling his land

for 100 million 8 thousand yen - plus an extra 95 yen.

Upon handing over the money, ultimately only 1 single was produced...

I was also in a m-m-movie.

The manager absconded.

No problems when singing, but stutters during everyday conversation.

This girl plays a stripper in the production, as well as being in the chorus.

Next.

This won't do.

Due to time restraints, I will regretfully refrain from introducing the rest of the patients.

Now for today's main event ---

There's no time!

Back to your places. We don't have enough time!

Now - to today's main event!

You!

Ahh, OK, OK.

You were a stewardess. Your lover was a member of the Red Army.

The flight you were working on was hijacked by him.

What an ironic turn of fate... you wanted me to say that, right?

Well, I've just said it. Off you go.

Now, to today's main event - Miss Helen Amatsu!*

*"Amatsu" means 'heavenly' or 'imperial'.

I expect that nobody in the audience knows the name "Helen Amatsu".

"Helen Amatsu", written on a large signboard,

her seductive nude photo pasted on windows

that drew miserable sighs from men that visited Asakusa;

that was before I left for America, so well over 10 years ago.

Comparing her fame to Agnes Lum's was like chalk and cheese.

Agnes couldn't sing or dance at all, for starters.

Helen was the most beautiful, and the most technically adept stripper at the time.

The play that you are all about to witness

is a theatrical reproduction of Helen's past life acted out by all members.

I'll get in trouble if people expect to see stripping!

Above all else, this is a plan to cure stuttering!

What is the cause of Helen's stuttering?

With the cooperation of all the patients, this may even be called a 'confessional play'.

Concurrently, through a journey comparable to the surgical removal of a cancerous tumor,

the great task of relieving these hopeless patients of stuttering from their miserable predicament

will be attempted; given a successful performance, the stuttering ought to be relieved, even slightly.

With any luck, it will be a complete recovery. To be precise -

it will mean the research is proven in America as well.

Without further ado - let's start the therapy play.

Maestro, please!

Ah, I forgot.

This is our piano accompanist for the play.

He has a very unusual form of stuttering.

When he goes to play the piano, he always stutters the first notes.

A stuttering of the hand, like a typist or key-puncher might have.

Known amongst authors as writer's cramp.

In other words, when the fingers cramp up when trying to hold a pen or writing implement.

Similar to an 'epidemic'.

OK. Everything's ready.

So we begin - a confessional play that details how a sweet young girl by the name of Momoe Sakuragi,

born in the mountains of Iwate, Tohoku, came to be a stutterer

and, ultimately, a stripper.

Lights!

This is a year of bumper crops

The rice harvested was 10 bags per field!

For example, this child's family owns 4 whole farms

They got 40 bags of rice all up

Take away the family's share for food

and you can sell 20 bags

The money that came in was 160,000 yen

Average it out monthly makes 13,000 yen

An amount like 13,000 yen

is irresistable, even for a pond snail!

Our father up and left us,

headed for Tokyo to earn some money

The father of this family, though,

went to Tokyo last year to earn some money

He got a job driving a truck carrying sand supercargo

He took a nap in the passenger seat one day

When he was dreaming about a cute girl

There was a bump in his behind from another truck

He woke with a start and lurched with his neck