Ben and Kate

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Yeah, take that, floor.

Dirty, dirty floor.

Lamp.

Yeah, curtain.

Here we go.

Plant.

Uh, uh, uh, uh...

Oh, wow. I wish I could un-see this.

I never want to stop seeing it.

I couldn't look away if I tried.

Say it! Say my name, bitch!

Back it up, back it up, back it up...

God bless those dust bunnies.

Hi.

Kate?

I'm coming.

Hold on a second.

Hi, it's me.

It's Kate. How are you? Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm really good. How are you doing?

Hey, listen, Shelley's at her mom's.

Any chance you can come over?

Yeah, I can come over.

What are you doing? Yes, it's...

Ben's watching Maddie; It's great.

It's so great having him here, you know,

to do...

You rock at the monkey bars.

How can you suck at this so bad?

I'm gonna have to call you back.

I'm gonna go murder my brother.

Bye. Okay.

If you're gonna saw, put your back into it.

A little muscle. What are you doing?

Well, not getting any sawing done, that's for sure.

What? No, you can't.

That's not for children.

Uncle Ben's making me a loft.

Yeah, first I was thinking bunk bed,

but then I realized, hey,

what kid doesn't love a live-workspace.

Did you sneak all of this in through the back?

One man's sneak is another man's carry.

It was supposed to be a surprise.

For me? Are you or are you not surprised?

I'm not gonna let Maddie just sleep in something

that you nailed together willy-nilly, Ben.

We're not using nails, Kate, just rope.

It terrifies me that she actually listens to you.

I know he means well, but he got Maddie's hopes up,

and now I kind of have to buy her a new bed.

I mean, one that she's not gonna die in.

Oh, my God, look at this.

Oh, my God! Do you know how many children

you could feed with the money this bed costs?

Probably about as many as it took to build this thing.

You're totally right.

That is not the handiwork of a well-paid adult.

Want to get it?

No. I want to get my camera so I can take a picture of it,

find a cheaper version online.

Cover me, okay? Oh, my God.

I did that. I broke it.

It was me. I'm really sorry.

I did that.

Um, I just...

I'll pay for it, whatever it costs.

It's $700.

What the sh... Shut your face.

I'm sorry.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Baller move, springing for the giraffe lamp

on a social worker's salary.

She's gonna have to do a lot of filthy things to work that off.

Technically, he's not just on a social worker's salary.

I knew it.

He's not helping those kids, he's selling them.

You know how much a Korean kid goes for on the black market?

Or a black kid on the Korean market? Not as much.

It's an offensive industry for many reasons.

He has a little bit of family money.

What?

He has a little family money.

Family money.

This guy is rich.

Wow. You know what this means?

This is like, a whole new class

of vacations for us.

Cayman Islands...

Virgin Islands,

Thousand Islands.

Nice work. Thank you.

- You're welcome. - No.

No, no, no. Don't do this.

Don't do what?

You never, ever trust anybody

who inherits anything, ever.

Only with regards to money.

Near-sightedness, psoriasis, albinoism,

nothing but respect.

Yeah, that's true. Hey, look,

I've got no problem

with people who earn their own money,

but I can't respect those trust fund d-bags

with their fancy sandwiches. Out of all the things

you can resent, you go for sandwiches?

It's the array of tapenades that really gets my goat.

Don't even get me started on ciabatta.

Trust me, Kate, I run into these types of people all the time

working at the country club.

You've worked there for a week.

They're not our type of people.

We're like, pull yourself up by the bootstraps people.

Make something out of nothing people.

You know, I've always thought that dude

was wrong for you, Kate.

Now if you agree with me,

we can start a new life together in Seattle.

What?

Okay, that's not a no.

I'm gonna assume you're thinking about it.

Look, Ben, I really like Will, okay?

And I've worked so hard for everything my entire life.

So, yeah, it's nice to have somebody

take care of things now and then. Fine,

but just know this lamp thing is just the tip of the iceberg.

Speaking of which, say good-bye to iceberg lettuce forever.

Yeah, it's all watercress

and radicchio from now on.

The moisture's just gonna soak up so well in our hair.

And give it a awesome, kind of amazing type of curl.

I know it's pretty good already, and then with Kate...

Can I get a couple more? Just a couple more...

Think about it.

We can go hang out in the Space Needle all day...

Give me a couple more... Coffee shops everywhere.

Yeah, just pour them all, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great, then you can just push them...

Yeah, thank you, mm-hmm, there. That's a good start.

Do you think this obsession with Kate

is now officially tragic?

Okay, I am not obsessed with Kate.

You think she's thinking about Seattle?

Her and I, down at the market,

throwing fish at each other in the rain...

Ow! Tommy, she's in

an actual relationship now,

and we need her to make this work with Will

because he is very, very rich.

And I need a lot of stuff.

You have to move on. You have to.

I can help you. BJ...

What's your type? Look...

I don't know, okay? I don't have a type.

Yes, you do. I guess if I had to pick a type,

I guess I would want what any guy wants, you know?

Funny...

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. Beautiful...

has a daughter named Maddie,

brother named Ben.

You sicken me.

I can't believe you cooked me dinner.

Well, and an endive and radicchio salad.

Wow, yeah, okay.

Is there something wrong? No, I mean, no,

this is just like a fancy salad.

Kate. I let Ben and Tommy get in my head

about the money thing. I'm sorry. You know what you need?

You need a little less Ben and Tommy

and just a little bit more us.

Let's go away for a night.

Do you like camping? We should go camping.

We used to go camping all the time.

Ben and I would lie in our tent at night

and listen to the sound of the wind

and our parents fighting.

Okay, well, why don't we do the less-fighting camping

and the more romantic, fun camping.

That'd be great.

My grandpa may have left me a little bit of money,

but I'm still the same guy I was yesterday, all right?

This changes nothing.

This changes everything.

Okay, first you must learn how to speak to servants.

All right?

May I pour your tea, ma'am?

Yes, please. No.

Never address the help directly, Maddie.

No-no eye contact. Very good.

Maddie, away.

No, I'm BJ. Bring it back to BJ.

The help, look away. Good.

And back, lovely, very good.

Okay, cigarettes. Now, they're gonna be offered to you

probably between the cheese course and coffee.

I know, it's bad for children to smoke,

but, Maddie, it's also very rude to say no.

Surprise! I got you the bed